Ten days
by Kurenai0111
Summary: He should have taken the threat more seriously. Yato has underestimated his father again, and this time it's his kid who will suffer the consequences. Except that this time, Fujisaki goes too far. Way too far. And whether Yukine is dead or not, Yato is not the same, will never be the same again, and everyone around him is desperate to make everything go back the way it was before.
1. The note

"Yato!"

Yato stopped short his chat with Kofuku to look at the young high school student who had just irrupted in the main room with thudding footsteps. And the smile from his conversation with the goddess got wiped off his face when he understood that the discussion was serious. Hiyori's expression was closed, and something like faint fear or worry was inscribed in her usually cheerful eyes.

"Yato we need to talk," pressed the girl, out of breath.

"Sorry, Kofuku, I'll be right back," assured the god after having eyed the girl a few seconds more.

Kofuku nodded and watched curiously the duo climb the stairs without saying a word. Hiyori led the god in the spare room in which he lived with Yukine. The god leant on the wall next to the closed window and crossed his arms while the girl sat on the floor.

"We shouldn't be bothered here. Daikoku is outside, and Yukine is watering the garden. What's wrong…? You look pale."

Hiyori sighed. "I'm fine… It's… It's about Fujisaki-senpai. We need to talk about him."

Yato's fists tightened slightly, sensing where the discussion was going. All the discussions concerning his father only went in one direction anyway. "Did he do something to you, Hiyori?"

She was already shaking her head before he had finished speaking, and let her gaze return to her lap. "No… At least not yet. And it's not really to me that he is going to try something either…"

She started explaining before Yato parted his lips to ask explanations. "…Fujisaki-senpai wasn't at school today. When I noticed this, I asked Yama-chan and Ami-chan if they knew something about it, and they told me that they hadn't seen him the entire week."

"Hm… That's weird indeed. But you shouldn't worry about that. He probably had a problem or something like that… Maybe the psycho bitch attacked him or something."

"No, that's not it. I don't think Bishamon-san would attack him out of the blue. No… I know why he wasn't there this week… And I fear that it's linked to Yukine-kun."

Yato frowned at the mention of his kid. "Yukine? What does Yukine got to do in all this?"

"I found a note in my locker before leaving high-school today. It said… It would probably be better if you read it yourself. I… c-couldn't repeat it anyway."

Hiyori rummaged through her school bag, and extirpated a crumpled note from it which she offered to Yato with trembling fingers. Yato raised his brows at the uncharacteristicly shy behaviour of the young girl; he took the handwritten note from Hiyori and read it in his turn. The words were graved deep in the blank paper, in an almost aggressive way. He felt his stomach tie up in a knot as he understood the threat was real. And it was not a light one.

Father had come back, plotting a new scheme just as horrible as always. And Yato didn't appreciate it. Breaking him and and making him suffer until he was almost numb to the pain was a thing, but hurting his family, hurting _his kid_ , was certainly another one.

"I'm sure that it is Fujisaki-senpai's writing. And only he could write something so horrible. Yato, I'm afraid for Yukine-kun. Really afraid…"

Tears welled up in her eyes. "He is going to… Yukine-kun…"

The god let out a dry laugh, still fixing the note. "Well, I would have loved to reassure you by saying that it's not a big deal, but I must admit I'm worried too. Father is crazy, and he would do anything to make me come back to him… I will have to keep a closer eye on Yukine then."

Hiyori could see the worry clouding his eyes, and the anxiety which was making his fingertips twitch in an almost imperceptible way. He was just as worried as she was, if not more. Not that she could blame him…

He sighed before shoving the note in his jacket's pocket and looking outside pensively. "Well, he should have finished by now…"

Hiyori finally looked at Yato. "Are you going to tell him, Yato?"

"Hmm… I will have to tell him, eventually, but I'd prefer not to do now. If I protect him properly, then he won't have to worry about that."

 _Like that situation wasn't really wrong to begin with. Yukine is in trouble because of me, again._

"But don't worry, Hiyori. Yukine will be fine," said Yato with a lot more assurance than he felt.

"Yes, of course he will… Sorry for freaking out like that," muttered Hiyori.

"No problem. It's not like your reaction was exaggerated anyway. Thanks for telling me."

She nodded, and they descended the stairs together with Yato leading the way. When she heard her friends' footsteps, Kofuku raised her head towards them, but frowned quickly at their expressions. She had been around Yato enough time to understand when something was wrong, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. "…What's wrong, Yato-chan?"

The goddess' words made him jump a little, and he quickly hid behind one of these smiles he was so used to show and not to feel. "Hm? Nothing's wrong, Kofuku. Don't worry."

He pursued before Kofuku could ask any more questions, and advanced towards the kitchen where Kofuku's shinki was. "Hey, Daikoku, why aren't you making food? It's going to be lunchtime soon."

Daikoku ran his hand in his hair, and tsked. "Like I didn't know that. I had bought something a moment ago to make for today, but it's not good anymore."

"It's not such a big deal… You could always prepare something else."

"With what, Yato? The things I asked you to buy yesterday and that you didn't buy, baka?!"

Yato fell to his knees, his hands on his stomach. "Gaaah! But Daikoku! I'm so hungry! Do you want me to starve?!"

A nerved popped on Daikoku's temple. "You're the one squatting here; you should be happy to have any food at all!"

Yukine poked his head out of the opened entrance door, stopping the argument between god and shinki. "You know, Daikoku, I can go to the store if you don't want to go."

Daikoku's frown disappeared as it let place to a relieved smile. "Yeah, that would help a lot. There is some money in the bag. Be careful outside, okay?"

"Yup! If it can make my stupid master shut up, then I will do it."

"Yukineeee, you meanie!"

Yukine put on his shoes in a flash, grabbed a big bag nearby and shouted that he wouldn't take too long before closing the entrance door. He didn't notice Yato's sombre face, but Kofuku, who had started paying a close attention to him as soon as he descended the stairs, did. "What's wrong, Yato-chan?"

The god's lie died on his lips the second he saw Kofuku's eyes. It was clear that she wanted the truth, and nothing else. Regretting the goddess's clairvoyance, he sighed. "…Just read this."

Hiyori felt uneasy when the god took out the crumpled note from his pocket to offer it to the pink-haired goddess. She took it curiously, clearly wondering why Yato was giving her a little paper. Daikoku left the kitchen to rejoin his goddess, and read the curious note in his turn. "What is it about, Kofuku?"

They read it once with slight curiousity, but it was definite horror which dominated their faces the second time they read it. Daikoku was having a hard time making his mouth move. "Yu-Yukine is…?"

New understanding appeared in Kofuku's eyes, and she raised sad eyes towards the too silent god. "So that's why you didn't want Daikoku to… Do you-Do you want me to accompany him? I think I can catch up with him if I leave now. We shouldn't leave him alone…"

The god let out a sigh as he hunched his shoulders. "No, it's fine. It should be fine… I hope so."

But she wasn't reassured. She, like every person in the house, knew how scared of his father Yato was. And it wasn't like Yato's fear was unfounded, after all. His father was crazy.

Each time one of his plans was put in action, a disaster happened. When he had attacked the hospital, Hiyori's social life had been nearly entirely ruined. If she had not been a strong girl, then things could have turned very differently for her.

When he had sent Yato to do that mission in the underworld, Ebisu had died. And even at the very beginning… His first plan of making Yato kill people had completely destroyed the god from the inside. Although they guessed Yato didn't care very much about that last one. Yato never really seemed to care about whatever happened to him, sadly.

A loud door slam startled them about fifteen minutes after Yato had shown them the note, and they all understood that Yukine had come back. As they went to the doorstep, they could faintly hear Yukine mumble under his breath. "Seriously… She is mad."

"Oh, you're back Yukki! We w-What happened to you?"

Yukine tilted his head in confusion at her before eyeing his body. Oh… She was probably mentioning his injuries. Yep, that seemed to be the most logical explanation. "Oh, that… It's nothing, Kofuku-san. It's just one of Nora's Ayakashi which attacked me on the way back. But I'm fine. It left."

Yato stared at him with a closed expression as he eyed his injuries. The injuries were indeed minor, but… He gritted his teeth. The first part of the note had realized itself, to his greatest displeasure. He had to tell him now before things got out of control. Yukine couldn't be in danger. "Come upstairs, Yukine."

Yukine entered in the house further and sat on the genkan to unlace his shoes. "Nah, it's fine… Don't worry. Just some scratches. I'll heal the blights myself."

"Come. We need to talk," insisted Yato, already halfway in the stairs.

Yukine stopped at something in Yato's voice, and turned around to see his god disappearing upstairs without pronouncing a word. He blinked twice before raising his head towards the other members of the house above him. "What's wrong with him…?"

None of his friends gave him the answer he needed. After a moment, Daikoku stopped looking at his feet to sigh. He picked the grocery bag up. "You shouldn't ask us. Talk to him, and maybe you will know the reason."

Yukine frowned at Kofuku's shinki during an instant as he disappeared in the kitchen, before doing as he had advised him to do and following his god upstairs. Daikoku wasn't making any sense either.

He sighed in discomfort, feeling that something important had happened to Yato. And as much as Yato annoyed him and was acting stupidly that he wanted to hit him half of the time, Yukine never liked to see his god unhappy; just like Yato hated to see his shinki upset or sad.

Yato was rummaging through a drawer and stopped short when he heard his shinki's familiar footsteps. "You're here. Hurry up and sit down," ordered Yato without turning back.

With an interrogation-filled look, he dropped next on his futon with a sigh. The injuries he sustained from the fight were making him slightly uncomfortable, but he had a bigger problem now. "What's wrong Yato?"

Startled by his kid's sudden voice in the silence, Yato almost let go of the first-aid kit he was holding but managed to catch it back before it hit the floor. He turned towards his concerned kid with a smile, but he knew neither of them was convinced by it. "…? Did you speak?"

"Yato?" Yukine's voice was more silent now. Yato felt that his kid was genuinely concerned about him, and his heart warmed up a little at his kid's feelings because it was sweet of Yukine to worry about him.

Yato fell to his knees behind Yukine with a sigh. "Take off your shirt… It's nothing you need to worry about."

"You told me it was important."

"…It's not that important, finally. Forget it."

Yukine faced the window and let out a sad laugh. "So you still don't trust me with your problems at the end, despite everything. Huh, who would have thought it? If something _really_ bothers you, you could always go see Nora, you know. _At least_ you can trust her."

Yato tsked. "It's not like that, Yukine… Stop saying this. You know that it's not true."

Yukine turned around angrily. "Then tell me what's wrong! I'm sure you weren't like that this morning. Did you learn something bad today? To make you look so sad…" Yukine's eyes widened while his voice became more silent. "Is it about your father?"

Yato's lips became a tight line. "…Something like that, yeah."

Yukine stayed silent, but he was actually deep in thought. He knew he had to make Yato speak, that the issue was serious, and that he had to choose his words carefully to speak about such a delicate subject. "What did he say to you, Yato? No matter what he said, don't listen to him. It's not true, you know."

"…Aw, you care about my wellbeing, Yukine? That's sweet of you."

"Stupid god… Stop beating about the bush and tell me! You promised to tell me about your problems, so do it, idiot. You're making me lose my time."

"In fact, I said that, but in the opposite order… Anyway, the shirt first, Yukine."

Yukine crossed his arms and made a sulky pout. "I will take off my shirt if you promise me to tell me what's wrong."

Yato sighed as he gave up. His kid could be stubborn if he put his head to it. "Okay, okay. The shirt first, and the info next."

"Bakagami," muttered the shinki.

While Yukine was unbuttoning his shirt, Yato scrambled in the first aid-kit, unable of saying this and face his shinki at the same time. "Hiyori found a note in her locker today. It was Father's handwriting. As for its contents… Let's just sum up by saying that you're going to have trouble with him."

Yukine stopped unbuttoning his shirt. "…Trouble? What trouble? I thought that he just wanted to name me because he wanted to have a hafuri for himself."

"Yeah well, he changed his mind."

Yukine finished to take off his shirt, folded it neatly before putting it on his desk. "So that's why you're acting weirdly? It's just another threat. I told you that I didn't want to become a nora. And I can defend myself just fine."

"Yukine… Nora already attacked you once before. And now she did it again. It was written on the note, you know. If you're _injured_ when she attacks alone, I don't want to know what will happen to you Father gets started too…"

"…"

Yato's blue eyes widened a little, and his voice wavered slightly. "They… They might even kill you, at the end."

"Kill? You're overreact-"

"I'm not!" burst Yato. "I'm not overreacting. Yukine, I lived with Father and Nora. I know them a lot better than you do, and that's _why_ I'm worried whereas you're not. I know their dirty tactics, and their violent methods of doing things. He just warned us with the note, but I know that he is serious. If he catches you, you won't get away with only minor injuries this time. That's for sure."

Yukine sighed and looked at the sun illuminating the sky outside. "…He would have to catch me first. You shouldn't worry too much about that note Yato, whatever's written on it. I'll be fine. I'm strong, and I'm just going to get stronger and stronger day after day so that they won't be able to hurt me next time. Relax."

"…Well, you're already super strong, my little Yukine. You will be fine." But he couldn't help but add in a whisper. "I hope."

"Of course I will be, stupid jersey. Stop doubting me for a second, okay?"

Yato sighed. "Okay. But I want you to tell me where you go, understood? And be careful outside."

"Yes, yes, mom."

Yato laughed and started to treat his injuries. They were indeed slightly blighted scrapes, but Yato didn't like to see wounds on his kid, no matter how small.

He grabbed a tube of ointment from the first-aid kit. He was almost sure that Yukine had not fully understood the weight of the threat; maybe he was still too young for this, but… A painful feeling burst in his chest. He had to protect him anyway. He didn't want to lose Yukine because of Father like he had lost Sakura.

He forced some cheerfulness in his voice; after all, there was no need to worry Yukine about this too. "So, what happened with you? It's Nora again?"

Yukine seemed taken aback by the sudden change of voice, but answered his god with some indignation in his voice. "Hm? Seriously, she is mad, Yato! I was just coming back from the store, and she just came out of nowhere and attacked me. With her strange dolls and her wolves and stuff. She really has a problem with wolves."

Yato laughed at this, with a half-genuine amusement in it. "Maybe. I don't remember her using them a lot when we were living together, though."

"Hmm… Anyway, she got started with her whole _'you stole my place as Yato's shinki so I'm going to kill you and replace you'_ stuff. After that… Well, we fought again. And then she- OWCH!"

"Sorry, sorry."

"You're trying to kill me too?! It's like a conspiracy with Nora!"

Yato chuckled at his kid's reaction. He was appreciating the fact that Yukine was make him smile. "Hey, I said I'm sorry. If you stopped complaining and just stayed still, it would be finished by now."

"Seriously… Hiyori would have been gentler. I wonder who's causing me to 'complain'," grouched Yukine before letting Yato treat him. And he didn't say anything more. He didn't need to. Yato wasn't sad anymore, and that was the most important thing for him. Not that he would ever admit that to him.

* * *

They were halfway through an uncomfortably silent and tense lunch when Yukine finally spoke. "Hey, Hiyori, could you give me a lesson today?"

Her face brightened up and all traces of gloom left immediately. "Yeah, of course, Yukine-kun. It's good to see you care so much about your lessons."

"Yeah, well… I wouldn't like to be as stupid as my master is, after all."

"Yukine!"

Yukine smirked while twisting his fork in the spaghetti in his plate absently. "Stop whining, stupid jersey. You should better thank Hiyori that I'm smart, otherwise your head would be quite empty, I'm afraid."

"Hey! What is that supposed to mean?!"

"Well, thoughts and emotions and stuff go from shinki to gods, right? Then maybe the things I learn every day are starting to fill your empty head and are making you less sutpid."

Everybody laughed at Yukine's comment. "Hey, I'm not stupid!"

"You're as stupid as your hands are dry, I'm afraid, which means not at all…" said Yukine around a mouthful of food.

"Show some respect to your god, Yukine!" He blinked a few times before noticing the others were laughing too. "H-Hey, stop laughing all of you! Waaah! Even Hiyori is mocking me!"

* * *

Once the table was cleared and the adults had left the room, they sat in front of each other to start. Math was one of Yukine's favourite subjects among all the ones that Hiyori had proposed him until now, and would be today's subject too. Not only it interested him, but he was quite talented at it. Anyway, he thought he was. Until this particular lesson.

"It's wrong, Yukine-kun!"

"Ack, again?! But why?! I followed the method like you told me to…"

"You made a common mistake. Because look, if you develop this…" Hiyori scribbled a few remarks on Yukine's notebook. "It won't be equal to this at the end."

"Oh, right…"

"Start over."

Yukine scratched his head and retried to solve the equation. He didn't think the math lesson would be this hard today. Well, truth to be told, Hiyori's lessons were always hard, so he supposed he should have expected that.

Hiyori looked at the little boy struggling with the exercice with a tender smile on her face. She was really happy to have all these lessons with him. But the curve of her lips quickly turned downwards as she realized something. Yukine was a really young shinki, certainely not older than fifteen years old.

How could a young boy like him die at such a young age? It wasn't normal: people didn't usually die during secondary school. Could he have had an accident? And why was he so scared of the dark? This kind of phobia usually had disappeared at his age…

His death was definitely an event shrouded in a mystery. And with Fujisaki's threat still hovering above him…

"-i! Hey, Hiyori!"

Startled out of her thoughts, she tilted her head towards her student and smiled hesitantly. "Y-Yes, Yukine-kun? Have you finished?"

He raised an eyebrow, but decided to ask her what he wanted to instead of asking her what was wrong. "Is it good now?" asked Yukine showing his notebook.

She read the answer on his notebook with furrowed brows, compared it to hers and lighted up brightly. "It is better, Yukine-kun! You're doing a lot of progress. Keep training like that and you will be ready for the test I planned next week. You worked very well."

The hafuri blushed a little at the praise. "Thanks."

She reciprocated his sweet smile. A soft melody rang in the silent room. Hiyori reached for her phone in her schoolbag, before flipping it open. She frowned a second as she read the message she just received and sighed. "Oh… I'm sorry, Yukine-kun, but I must come back home... My parents just had an emergency apparently, and told me to come home now."

His smile disappeared as it let place to disappointment. He would have appreciated her staying a little bit more. "I see… An emergency, huh? I hope it's alright."

"Oh! Don't worry; it's very probably nothing serious, Yukine-kun. They would have told me otherwise. But I can pass tomorrow, if you want me to. I'll even bring you a little present for all your hard work," said Hiyori winking.

A voice irrupted in the room before Yukine could answer. "Hey hey, the little students! How is work going?" said Yato, coming closer from the duo, waving a sake-filled bottle around.

"Go away, we're working!" said Yukine angrily as he threw one of his books to his god.

"Hey, what have I done!? Don't be mean like that!"

"What do you want, _bakagami._ "

Yato huddled in a corner of the room comically, wounded by his shinki's behaviour, and Hiyori laughed a little at his childish reaction. "I-I just wanted to help you understand your lesson, i-if you had not understood it already. I'm bored," mumbled Yato with exaggerated tears leaking from his eyes.

"...You wanted to help me with maths?"

Yato faced his shinki with a giant smile, and Yukine wondered where all the earlier sadness had gone to. "Yup! As Hiyori said, I could explain you the next math lesson. I have already studied that a long time ago."

"Tch. As if you were capable of understanding something."

"Yukine!"

"Well Yato, you could start to explain him the next lesson if you want to help him. I put a post-it on one of his manual's page, that's where the lesson and the exercices begin. I'm sure Yukine-kun will understand quickly," encouraged the girl with a gentle smile.

Yukine felt the corners of his mouth turn upwards at the praise. "Thanks Hiyori, I'll do my best. Be careful outside, okay? See you tomorrow!"

The girl nodded before quitting the house, her pink scarf swaying in the wind behind her, leaving the god and the shinki alone in the main room. "You're such a mean shinki, to treat your master like that. So, gimme the book so that I can see what it is about."

Yukine stayed hesitant, but finally explained his problem to Yato. "Oh, you're doing that? It's easy, you will see."

The god smiled softly, grabbed a pen from Yukine's pencil case, and started to explain his shinki the lesson. Yato liked to do that, all his worries were disappearing little by little as he focused solely on the equations written on the book. After a good ten minutes, Yukine's eyes widened. " _Oh…_ So that's how you do it. It's easy, actually. You're a lot smarter than you look."

"Hey!"

And here came back the insults Yato was so used to. It felt right, and eased his worries. "That reminds me; I've found us a job, Yukine!"

The hafuri picked his pencil up, but didn't raise his nose from his mathematics exercises after that. "What will it be this time?"

"Ayakashi!"

He sighed. "We already killed some this morning. For a change, you killed enough, so why bother more? I'm tired. I wanted to eat and then go to sleep."

"Yukine... don't be like that. Honestly, it has been a while since you last came with me on a job, you know. Not just killing ayakashi every day, mecanically… A _real_ job. Jobs... feel sad without you," cried Yato with puppy dog eyes.

Yukine released his pencil in frustration, which hit the table with a sharp noise. "Gah! Yato, stop whining! I can't concentrate when you keep doing that! Go bother someone else!"

"If you can't concentrate, then it's settled! Come with me, Yukine! I promise it will be funny!"

"Whose fault do you think it is if I can't focus on my homework, jackass?!"

Yato sat next to his hafuri and leant on him with pleading eyes, almost begging him. "No time to wonder about this! C'mon Yukine, come with me! Please _please_ please please please..."

Yukine sighed after a moment and stood up, an undecipherable emotion passing in his eyes. "You're impossible. Okay, let's do this already."

"But you never want to come with m- Wait, did you say yes?"

"It's true that it has been a while since our last job... Not that it's my fault if everything you do is boring to death. But if I know that if you keep whining like you are doing right now, then I will have no choice but to murder you because you're really getting on my nerves right now, so let's go already. I have homework to do."

Yato smiled and stood up too. "Yup!"

The god headed for the door, but stopped before reaching it. Not knowing where she was precisely in the house, Yato decided to shout. "Hey Kofuku! Yukine and I are going on a job!"

A loud voice answered them, and Yukine grumbled as he put his hands on his ears. Kofuku was just in the kitchen; there was no need to shout. Yukine honestly wondered sometimes if Yato was doing certain things on purpose just to annoy him. "Okaay! Be careful, Yukki and Yato-chan! Try to come back before 7 or you're going to miss dinner!"

Yato opened his mouth to answer her back, but Yukine whacked him behind the head before he could shout again. "Y-Yes, Kofuku-san! Don't worry, we won't be late."

Pinching Yato's ear, Yukine dragged his god outside the house. "She was just in the kitchen, imbecile. There was no need to shout!"

"Ouch, ouch! I understood, so let my ear alone!"

The shinki let go of his god with a sigh, wondering how many times he had thought that Yato was stupid today. He was really tiring sometimes. "Ouch… You're such a mean shinki, Yukine. Take your blouson; it's going to be cold outside."

Yato zipped his usual tracksuit entirely as Yukine fetched his favourite khaki parka. Yukine frowned at his god when he was done. "Aren't you going to be cold, Yato?"

"Aw, Yukine… You worry for me _that_ much? It's embarrassing, you know… Hee hee."

Yukine looked hurriedly at the ground with embarrassement and growled. "As if. Do what you want, I don't care."

Yato grinned. "Thanks though, Yukine. Take an umbrella too, it's raining."

Yukine obeyed without adding any further comment. Yato had embarrassed him enough. He grabbed a grey umbrella, and left the house alongside with Yato. He took a step, and then stopped. Now that he thought about it, it _had_ been a moment since they last did a job together...

After opening their umbrellas, Yato started walking, Yukine a few steps behind him. The night streets were deathly silent, but the lamps were starting to light up, reassuring the shinki a little bit.

Without turning back, Yato spoke. "Are you afraid, Yukine?"

"Afraid? N-"

"No need to hide it from me, Yukine," cut Yato. "I can feel your fear anyway. Is it too dark for you? Do you want to come back home? We can always do another job."

Yukine shoved the hand which wasn't holding the umbrella in his pocket and stared at the ground. His voice was barely louder than the pouring rain around him. "No... It's fine. It's not that dark, the lamps are lit... And you won't be able to do the job without me anyway."

"Sure? You always have the choice, you know." Yato's voice sounded sadder this time, but he still didn't turn back. He absolutely didn't want to make Yukine relive the horrible experience he suffered when he was alive. Feeling trapped in the darkness, the feeling of suffocating…

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry."

"Plus, you're still inju-"

"Ugh, are you my mom or my master? Seriously. Stop treating me like a child; I'm fine, don't worry."

Yato smirked soudlessly. They continued to walk silently on the sidewalk until they arrived nearby a thick forest with a seemingly infinite number of trees. The more Yukine looked at the forest, the more it looked dark. Despite his earlier words and reassurances, Yukine felt unease start to rise in him. "…Must we really go in there?"

Yato caressed his nape with his fingertips as Yukine's fear hit him. "It will be fine, don't worry. We won't go that far in it. Unless you really want to come home…" murmured Yato.

"…No, it's fine… Focus on putting one foot in front of the other; that's all you're capable of anyway."

Yato let out a frosty sigh and entered the forest. Yukine gulped anxiously before following him. But to Yukine's greatest pleasure, the sound of Yato's footsteps in the rain didn't last very long. A dozen colourful Ayakashi surrounded them before they could advance further.

Yato flashed a confident grin to his shinki as he declared. "Well, it looks like the job directly came to us. You're ready to fight, Yukine?"

Yukine made a puzzled expression and muttered. "B-But you said that the job wouldn't be killing Ayakashi…"

Yato either didn't pay attention to what Yukine had said or didn't hear as he repeated. "Ready, Yukine?"

The shinki used a few more seconds to try to decipher his god's plan before giving up. He was being illogical as usual. "Okay, I give up. Let's do this, Yato!"

Yato smiled, and sprang forward. "Sekki!"

* * *

Yato passed a hand though his hair, and let the back of one of the swords rest on his shoulder. "Revert, Yuki."

The swords disappeared as Yukine returned to normal, and he let out a little relieved sigh. They had finished the job without much complication, and neither of them was injured.

Yato slid his shinki's head under his arm and ruffled his hafuri's hair. "You did great, Yukine! I'm so proud of you!"

Yukine's cheeks went redder than a tomato as he futilely tried to escape one of his master's exaggerated ways of expressing his pride. "Ack! S-Stop it, idiot god!"

The latter completely ignored his demand, and only tightened his grip and ruffled his hair more. "There were really a lot of Ayakashi, you know. _Aah_ , I'm really proud of my kid! To handle them like that… You're really a genius!"

The hafuri escaped from his master's grip and rearranged his tousled hair. "Y-You already said this. And... Protecting my master is my main function, s-so there is no need to be _proud_ or anything like that... You're rambling like an old man."

Yato's grinned widened. "You _are_ happy."

Just when he thought his face couldn't be redder. Of course: he was Yato's hafuri, and all his emotions were transmitted to him. Yato thought the kick to the stomach he received was deserved. "Sh-Shut up! How do we come home anyway?! Kofuku-san told us to come back before 7!"

"Gaah! Yukine, it _huuuuuurts_!"

"Shut up, Yato! If you weren't annoying, like, 99% of the time then I wouldn't have needed to hit you!"

"99%? What about the last percent?"

"It's when you're sleeping. The only moment when you finally let your jaw rest a little." He seemed to think a moment. "Well no, given that even in your sleep you can't stop being noisy and talking and muttering and laughing like a psychopath, you're annoying _100_ % of the time. Congratulations."

"Ouch… So mean. W-We just have to backtrack. We should be home in something like fifteen minutes."

He turned hastily and mumbled lowly. "Then let's go home already. Kofuku-san will be worried."

Seriously, Yato didn't always need to make a big deal out of it... Protecting his master was his job; there was nothing to brag about. But, he didn't know how, Yato always managed to find something to be proud of; even in the simplest tasks he was given. He yawned, because Yato was tiring him with his silly actions and silly speeches, honestly.

Yato picked the muddy umbrellas from the ground before following his kid, injury forgotten.

"Is my little Yukine tired?" asked Yato playfully.

* * *

Yukine continued to walk without looking behind him, but halted when he saw that he had arrived on a little bridge. He was sure they had not passed by it while they came, plus this bridge looked awfully familiar.

But he felt like something was different… Like a sound had disappeared behind him… And…

The sound of a falling drop of water made itself heard.

"Hello, Yukine..." whispered a ghostly voice in his ear.

He squeaked and turned around. "N-Nora!"

Nora was sat on one of the bridge's barrier, amused by Yukine's surprised reaction. The girl started swinging her legs innocently. "Oh, Yukine... Tell me, why are you alone?"

"Ha! You're blind or something? Yato is-" his eyes widened when he saw her smile. He searched around him frantically. Yato was just with him _a few seconds ago_. "Yato?"

He threw her a look burning with fury. "What have you done with Yato, stray?!"

She forced herself not to react to the insult and to keep her smile. "Oh, _Yato_? Don't worry, he is fine. He is just following an illusion of you I created. He wouldn't be happy if he saw what is going to happen to you, anyway," a sick smile appeared on her face. "And I only want his happiness."

"…You're mad, Nora. Like, entirely mad."

She became more serious. "And without him… you are all alone. Without him to protect you, you're _weak_. That's why we will take care of you today."

"…We?"

An older man appeared next to the nora, so big that he was completely blocking the moonlight and that Yukine couldn't see his face. The only thing he could see of the man was his big shadow, contrasting with Nora's white clothes and completely recovering the scared hafuri. Not taking time to understand why she was here or what the older man wanted, he separated himself from them with the strongest borderline he could create, and rushed towards the forest in a hope to find Yato.

"It's useless to run, Yukine." said Nora as she snapped her fingers.

Five masked wolves-like Ayakashi appeared from some nearby bushes, making Yukine stop immediately in his attempt to go in the forest. They were growling with drool dripping from their mouths, and Yukine sensed the immediate danger emanating from them.

"You have nowhere to run."

Yukine clenched his fist. So he would have to fight, huh.

But Nora had miscalculated one thing. An important detail. Not only Yato was probably searching him now, but he was a hafuri. He was strong. And he was going to make Nora remember this.

The wolves all jumped on him faster than he thought and made him slam loudly on the ground. His skull throbbed something horrible when it made contact with the ground. They were a lot heavier than what they looked, because Yukine couldn't move any of his limbs as one of them crouched on him. Yukine only winced when one of their fangs went deep in his ankle, but yelled when he felt some flesh being torn from his arm.

The borderline separating Yukine from the danger weakened and weakened until it disappeared completely. The man advanced towards the trapped boy, looking supremely unfazed by his pain. "Yaboku's hafuri, you're going to accompany us now."

Yukine smiled with bloodied lips and struggled to move one of his blighted arms. He couldn't give up. Yato would come soon. He had always saved him when he needed to be saved. "BORDELINE!"

One of the Ayakashi was hit by the spell and disappeared, while the four others only stepped back from the menacing barrier. He wiped the blood on his lips and turned towards Nora with a mocking face, although he guessed he didn't look very mocking, wounded like he was. "You'll have to try harder if you want to hurt me, Nora _-chan._ You're underestimating me with these ayakashi. They're all as weak as kittens. _"_

Her face hardened at the nickname for a second. He was really starting to get on her nerves with this attitude. She couldn't wait to finally kill him. "You've gotten stronger. But… I wonder who is underestimating who there, Yukine. You managed to kill one of them, true, but… _My beloved Ayakashi aren't weak. Right?_ "

Yukine's eyes nearly bulged out of his head when he turned his head towards what Nora was pointing with her finger. The four wolves became nine as soon as Nora finished speaking. "Let's see, how will you do now?"

Yukine laughed humourlessly. _Well, now it's going to be fun… It's like the second level of her crazy game._

The wolves came back to the offensive and dashed into Yukine's borderline, shattering it into a millions of tiny shards. But Yukine refused to give up. He wouldn't disgrace his god like that. So he took a step back, and focused on the wolves, and solely on them. Not on the pain he felt on the back of his head, not on the sting which was burning him.

He had to kill the wolves before _they_ killed him. He swung his arm horizontally, and threw a borderline. Two wolves disappeared. And a few borderlines later, the six remaining wolves had disappeared. Yukine almost allowed himself to fall on his knees and calm down a little, but a little detail struck him and made him frown.

Because he had killed _eight_ wolves. Weren't they _nine_?

He felt a great strength push him to the ground and couldn't resist it. Once his body made contact with the ground, he gasped loudly because he was in _so much pain-_

The remaining wolf left the bush in which he was hiding, and ran towards him. Yukine felt his heart racing, and a feeling of fatality struck him. He closed his eyes. This time, it was _over_. He still tried to raise his blighted arm to kill it but…

 _Yato, I'm s-_

He didn't even have time to finish that thought. The wolf bit him in the throat, he yelped, and everything went dark.


	2. The rupture

"Tired, kid?" But Yukine didn't answer nor looked towards Yato and kept on walking.

"Yukine, wait!" Yato sighed as he saw his hafuri walking away from him and sinking further and further in the forest. Then, all of a sudden, Yukine disappeared. The god blinked twice before looking around him. Yukine couldn't have just disappeared like that, could he?

"What are you looking for, Yato? Or maybe should I say… _who?"_

Nora's sudden appearance made him feel uncomfortable. Her plain white clothes made her stand out, between the dark sky and the sombre trees, and gave her a seemingly innocent look. But then something clicked in his head. There was no way in the world that Yukine's sudden vanishing and _her_ appearance weren't linked.

"Nora. Where have you taken Yukine?" he asked with a venomous voice.

The child smiled sadistically. "You should have listened to Father, Yato. You know where he is… Don't you remember the second part of the note?"

Yato's breath stopped entirely, and his voice became suddenly low and afraid. "Nora. You are going to answer me, and answer right now. Tell me. Where. Is. He. I swear it Nora-"

"I knew it… You grew too attached to this little boy, Yato. He and that girl are keeping you away from me and from Father. We are where you truly belong, you know."

"STOP TALKING AND GIVE HIM BACK!"

Nora's expression became heinous and jealous during a split second before she turned around. Yato was completely focusing on Yukine instead of focusing on _her_ like he used to. It was unnerving. "You won't see him until a little moment, I'm afraid. Father has some projects for him."

"What kind of projects?!"

"You already know Yato, don't you?" replied Nora. Wild panic seized Yato's heart.

" _Yato!"_

Any words he had wanted to say died in his throat when he heard his shinki's cry. He jerked his head towards it, making Nora raise one of her brows towards her former master. "What's wrong?"

It was nearby, and without knowing precisely where it was exactly, he ran towards the mental sound. He didn't even realize or care that branches were cutting him on his face, because the only important thing now was Yukine. Yukine, who was hurt, who was stuck with Father.

Nora watched him leave with dull eyes, and disappeared.

 _Yato… That love and attention belong to me. And I'm going to do what it takes to have it back._

 _Yato… I'm s-_

Yato fell to one knee and clutched at his jacket in pain. One of Yukine's thoughts had stopped mid-sentence, and this incredible feeling of pain spreading in his chest… Yukine was unconscious, that was for sure.

Fuelled by nothing if not the pressing need to find his kid right now, Yato ran towards where he had last heard Yukine. When he arrived next to the little bridge, his heart sank in his chest. No trace of person could be seen when he arrived: neither Yukine nor Father was here. However, when Yato knelt next to the bridge… When he put his hand in the grass and felt the blood on his fingertips… He understood.

He arrived too late.

* * *

Yukine opened half-conscious eyes in a place that definitely wasn't familiar, but winced as soon as he did. His whole body was covered in the wounds and blights where the Ayakashi wolves had bitten him... yesterday? Or was it just a few hours ago? He was feeling too tired and had lost too much blood to ponder about it.

When the fog in his head had disappeared a little, he tried to reflect on where he was. A light panic started welling up in his chest as he noticed that… He had absolutely _no idea_ about where he was, or even why he was there. The only thing he knew about this place was that it was… dark. Very dark. And he decided he absolutely didn't like it.

His brain commanded his body to stand up; however the latter simply refused to move. He tried again several times, without success. Sighing at his own incompetence, he gave up and instead made his mind into finding a way to get out of there. Yato was probably worried not to have seen him the entire day. Or week. Or last hours.

He cursed slightly. He should have taken the threat more seriously.

"Wakey, wakey," sang a high-pitched voice next to him.

He heard the sound of sandals clapping on the floor coming closer and closer from him. Every cell in his body was telling him to escape right now, but he simply _couldn't move_. "Oh, so you are awake," noticed a manly voice.

Yukine stopped breathing as his whole body was paralyzed by fear. He was sure that it was the man who had been with Nora, and that couldn't lead to anything good. "What a rude little boy. You could answer when someone speaks to you. I just wish to ask a little service to you."

Yukine let out a dry laugh before finally speaking. He wasn't going to stay submissive and act like a victim, seriously. "Talk to me? If you had just wanted to _talk_ to me then you didn't need to kidnap me. Where am I, and where is Yato? I hope for you that he is okay, because-"

"... _Stop asking questions_."

His tone let no room from the scalding reply Yukine had wanted to give him. Oh, he hoped he could come back soon to Yato, to his family… He was so scared here. The older man came even closer to Yukine, scaring him even further than he already was. "If I hear you mention Yaboku one more time, it will be his severed head that you will see. Understood?"

Yukine obediently kept his mouth shut. Without his shinki to protect him, Yato was defenceless, and easy to kill. Yukine didn't want to see his god's corpse. Never.

Angered by the shinki's silence, the man started to yell. "Have you understood!?"

"Y-Yes I understood!"

The man smirked while Yukine felt ashamed. He had obeyed so easily… "Good. So, about the little favour, young Yukine… I want you to work for me."

The answer was obvious. "I won't work for you. Have you gone crazy? I have only one person to work for, and it's not you."

"Ah… You still have fight in you, kid. Very well, then. Let me name a few reasons for you to obey." His mouth turned into a sadistic smile. "To begin with, in case you didn't understand, I'm Yaboku's father. I think you understand what it implies, yes?"

Anger flared up in the little hafuri as soon as his words left his mouth. He was Yato's father: the man who had made him suffer so much during all his life… The monster that made an innocent Yato slaughter hundreds and hundreds of people. He wondered for a second why he didn't recognize him back in the forest, but blamed it on his initial shock.

Then, something close to a sob came to his mouth as he realized something: Fujisaki was probably going to use Yukine as leverage to make Yato do all he wanted. Even Hiyori, or Kofuku and Daikoku… Oh, he despised himself so much… He was supposed to protect Yato as a hafuri, and it had come to this.

"Judging by your face, I needn't tell you more, do I? If you care about Yaboku, Hiyori-chan and all your _marvellous_ other friends, you are going to work for me and obey to _every single order_ I give you. Understood?"

Yukine didn't answer as he gritted his teeth. It wasn't possible... If he didn't obey then Yato and Hiyori would…

"Understood?" repeated Fujisaki with malice in his voice.

Nora knelt next to him. "Father asked you a question. You should answer."

He couldn't believe that he was really saying this. "If I do... you promise to let them alone? Promise it, otherwise we won't reach an agreement."

"I _promise_ you. I just want you to stay here two days."

Yukine was sure that it was going to be the worst two days of his life and didn't know _what_ Fujisaki had planned to do with him. But… he would manage. All he had to do is _survive_ what would come to him, no matter how. For Yato, and all his friends.

For their sake…

* * *

Yato ran towards Kofuku and Daikoku's house and almost tore the shouji as he yanked it so strongly.

"YUKINE HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!"burst Yato in a complete panic.

Kofuku and Daikoku jumped almost in the same time to the sudden noise. The goddess rubbed her eyes and sat up, relishing the warm covers of her futon, looking barely awake. "Mmh… What's wrong, Yat-"

"It's Yukine! H-He disappeared and Father has him and I can't find him and-"

Daikoku gripped firmly his shoulders. "Yato. Stop. _Breathe._ "

He almost answered that he didn't have time to breathe and that _Yukine was in danger_ but saw the look in Kofuku's shinki's eyes and finally decided to obey and breathe. Maybe it could help, and that he was right…

He took a breath _in..._

 _Out._

"That's good. Continue."

 _In..._

 _Out..._

 _In..._

 _Out..._

When he was calmer, Daikoku let go of his shoulders and retried. "Okay. Now tell us what happened."

"It's Nora… Nora… Father… They have kidnapped Yukine." said Yato in a tight voice.

"But weren't you with him, Yato-chan?" asked a more awake Kofuku in an anxious voice.

Guilt striked him badly as he answered. "I was... B-But at some point he disappeared, and I couldn't find him anymore, and Nora came and told me that they had taken him."

"How?" asked Kofuku in a small and terrified voice.

"Okay, now we're sure he has been taken. Do you feel something from him at all? Something – anything - which could lead us to him. A thought, or an image…"

Yato frowned and closed his eyes as he concentrated on his shinki's feelings, and solely on them. After a few seconds of silence, he cried out in frustration. "Nothing. I can't feel _a_ _single_ _fucking_ _thing_ from him!"

His friends let out small surprised gasps at Yato's outburst. The latter bowed his head, and his anger disappeared as quickly as it came as it let place to his sorrow. "Sorry… It's just that I can't feel anything, and… I don't understand why. It's worrying me."

His voice broke painfully as he remembered the note's contents. "What if he was _already_ dead? Father had told me times and times that he wanted me to come back, and that Yukine was one of the reasons I wasn't... And, _God_ , it's my fault… I-I didn't take the measures to protect him properly…"

How could he have let something like that happen? Sakura's images started to fill his head, making him dizzy and afraid. He didn't want to see Yukine, not _his kid_ , like that. Not dead, not distorted, not crying. He couldn't…

"Y-You are imagining worst case scenarios, Yato-chan! There could be other reasons which could perfectly explain why you can't feel anything. Maybe Yukki is perfectly unharmed, but he is just too far from you, for example…" proposed Kofuku in a high-pitched and hesitant voice, gazing at the ceiling.

Yato scowled at her because her theory wasn't possible; given that he would at the very least feel his fear and she knew it as a goddess, but didn't say anything else. He put a trembling hand on his closed eyes and whispered. "I hope he is alright. I already know that he is hurt because there was blood where he was supposed to be, and…"

Nora was quite a possessive shinki, like Yukine in fact. These children simply hated to share. She always felt like Yukine was her replacement, and he knew that she loathed it. Yato and her had lived their childhood together, and he knew that she had absolutely not accepted in her heart that she would never be his again now. God knows what she will do to him…

Yato turned around sharply, despair written all over his face. "I… I have to search him."

Daikoku caught his wrist before Yato managed to get two steps away. "Yato stop. You can't go _now_. The blood you saw could be someone else's, like Nora's or your father's. And anyway, you won't help anyone in the state you are in. Go upstairs and _calm_ _down_ , Kofuku and I will find a solution."

"But Daikoku-"

"Yato!"

He slowly closed his mouth shut, immediately silenced by the look in the taller shinki's eyes. "You go upstairs, and you _calm down._ "

 _I won't be able to sleep in peace now. And I won't feel better until I see him fine again._ "…Okay, Daikoku."

Yato climbed the stairs under the duo's concerned gaze, gripping the stairs' railing tightly not to fall and dragging his feet at each step he was forced to do. He slipped quietly in his futon, and closed his eyes. Not to sleep or rest or anything like that, but to calm his wild-beating heart and tensed nerves and pray. Pray that Yukine would come out of this alive. It was a frustrating feeling to know the one of the persons he cared about the most in the world was being in danger because of him, and that there nothing he could do about it.

But a small, bitter part of him had always known that hanging out with him would lead to trouble. He was a magatsukami, after all. All he could offer to the child was death and destruction, not the love he really needed. He had hesitated to cut bonds with Hiyori after she had recovered her memory of them, but maybe he should have done so, and liberated Yukine afterwards… So that his life doesn't involve them anymore, like Tenjin had told him once. He preferred to be sad and alone and isolated _again_ than seeing his family suffer.

Without knowing she had the worst timing of the world right now, Hiyori entered in Kofuku's little house with a warm smile. "Good morning, everyb…ody," tried the young girl, but she stopped when she approached the doorstep. There was an uncomfortable and gloom atmosphere floating in the room, so unusual in that house.

Kofuku hadn't her usual bubbly smile on her face and was staring at the ground glumly. Daikoku was in the kitchen, looking very bothered by something. When the goddess saw the young girl, however, she pasted a welcoming smile. "Oh, Hiyorin! Good morning! You are here early today."

Hiyori sat hesitantly next to her, not buying her smile at all. "Yes, I came earlier… Um, Kofuku-san? Did something happen?"

Her smile died down, and Hiyori frowned. "It's Yukki… He has been kidnapped by Yato-chan's father."

Hiyori's heart stopped beating for a second. "N-No way! Where is Yato? Isn't he searching him?!"

"He is resting: Daikoku told him to. He didn't sleep at all this night, with Yukki and all. But… I think what he really needs is some time to digest this information. Things could go in a horrible way, because Yukki could…"

Hiyori didn't wait to hear the rest. She climbed the stairs three by three to go in Yukine and Yato's shared bedroom: she knew _exactly_ what Kofuku was going to say. She unexpectedly found the god there, lying on his side and his body hidden by the futon's cover. "Yato!"

His back faced her, preventing anyone to see how his expression was. How guilty he felt. How much he was regretting all this. Hiyori crouched next to him and leant on her hands. "Y-Yato, we have to go-"

"Why?"

It took her a few second to recognize that it was Yato's voice. "Every time I have something, Father has to take it from me. How could I have let something like that happen to Yukine? To my own kid? He must be so scared now... And I'm here, doing nothing…" He gritted his teeth, and Hiyori winced. "I-If only I had been more careful…"

"Y-Yato stop! I-It's not your fault if everything is happening, and wallowing yourself in self-pity won't help anyone! Now stand up: we… we are going to search him together, okay? The only thing we have to do to relieve our worries is to search. I promise you that we will find him before anything can happen."

Yato turned towards her with cold eyes which made her shudder slightly. He didn't think that he could move right now. He felt sick and all his muscles were cramped and refused to move, and that had nothing to do with Yukine's emotions. He stared at her before nodding slightly and leaving his futon.

"We will find him, Yato-chan."

"Yeah. We will search him first, and at the end we will find him, don't worry," assured Daikoku.

Daikoku and Kofuku were already the doorstep, ready to leave. Kofuku smiled reassuringly with slightly dampened eyes while her shinki only directed him a subtle nod of the head, with eyes shining with assurance.

Yato sat up and raised his head towards the ceiling. He then let it fall with a heavy sigh. He was calmer now, thanks to Daikoku's advices. Indeed, the time he took alone had helped clearing his head. He would search Yukine relentlessly, he would search him in the entire world if he needed to, and he would find him today. There simply weren't any other outcomes of the situation.

"We should ask Tenjin-sama and Bishamon-sama to help us. The more eyes we have, the more chances we got to find him. Right Yato?"

"…Yeah."

* * *

"Don't you wonder why you can't move, little hafuri?"

Fujisaki laughed at the shinki's fruitless efforts to answer as he struggled to even open his mouth. "You've been drugged. It's just a little something to numb your emotions and your body so that your little god can't find or intercept your thoughts. Pretty smart, isn't it?"

 _I feel sick._

"So let's start, shall we?"

Father grabbed a fistful of Yukine's hair and forced him to kneel in front of him. The thought of massaging his painful scalp didn't even occur to Yukine at the time. Fujisaki extended two of his fingertips, in a similar way to shinki when they formed a borderline.

He started reciting a spell, and Yukine feared the worst. **"Thou, with nowhere to go and nowhere to return. I shall grant you a place to belong. My name is Fujisaki Kouto. Bearing a posthumous name, you shall remain here. With this name, I make thee my servant. With this name and its alternate, I use my life to make thee a Divine Instrument! Thou art Hikaru! As Divine Instrument, Kou! Come, Kouki!"**

Yukine stared at the black kanji floating in front of him with dread and horror. He didn't think he would... be forced to become... a _nora_. He didn't want to, he didn't want to be named… But if he didn't obey to Fujisaki's orders, then Yato, _his_ god, would die… He couldn't do anything. He couldn't resist. Between his sanity and his honour _and_ Yato's safety, the choice was quickly made.

The black kanji sank in his left hand's skin. He collapsed on the ground sonorously, and allowed the tears which he had fought so hard to not shed roll on his slightly bloodied cheeks. He felt so ashamed of himself…

 _Yato…_

" _There were really a lot of Ayakashi, you know._ _Aah_ _, I'm really proud of my kid! Handle them like that… You're really a genius!"_

 _I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen._

And Yukine couldn't help but mumble. "I'm… s-sorry…"

"What an interesting life you had had, dear little boy… Life you don't know about, of course… Yaboku probably didn't tell you about it. What an overprotective son."

"Well, the ritual went better than what I thought. I thought you would be more…rebellious, you know. But you look like you have understood the rule here." Father said with a satisfied smirk. "Now wait here. I must prepare the rest." He heard the sound of a door closing after some footsteps.

"Sleep well, _Hikaru._ "

Here he was, all alone, again, in the dark. He felt severely weakened by... well everything, whether physically or morally. He cried, and honestly felt like he could cry forever given how much sorrow he was feeling.

Yato, _Yato_... He prayed with all his heart that he was safe, and that his hell would end soon before closing his eyes for the last time.

* * *

Still nothing.

It had been at the very least five hours non-stop since they had searched Yukine, starting from when they had been separated for the first time, and they still hadn't found any trace of him. Now nothing could reassure Yato at this point.

He couldn't hear any of his thoughts, or feel any of his emotions. Worst-cases scenarios were repeating in his head, making it hard to think properly about anything. He wanted and needed Yukine back now before he became crazy.

"There you were, Yato. I had been looking for you."

Nora appeared in front of the little group with her usual uninterested look. Yato placed a hand protectively in front of Hiyori and the others; because there was no way in hell he would let her take them away from him too. Honestly, what could she want? She was just adding oil on fire by choosing to come here. "Nora... Give me Yukine back!"

"All right, Yato. I suppose I can give him back to you," admitted Nora. Her smile became devilish as she added. "He won't be of any use for you. After all… He is dead."

Yato's body froze as the certainty in Nora's words struck him with full strength. He felt his heart beating more strongly, and something in his head was blurring his sight. "Y-Yukine isn't dead."

Father advanced, and Yato wanted to hit him because he only looked slightly bothered, even _annoyed_ at what he had done. He didn't have the grace of looking ashamed by what he did. Like he had not murdered an innocent child.

If he had really killed Yukine, then Yato would… He would… He didn't even know what he would do to him. What he had in mind was violent, dark, and certainly bloody _._

Father saw the look in Yato's eyes, and put his hands in front of him in a defensive manner. "Hey, don't look at me like that, Yaboku. I didn't want to kill him, you know. Not after only five hours, anyway, since I said that I would keep him for two days. But I supposed he succumbed to his injuries faster than what I have thought. What a weak shinki. Mizuchi is stronger, Yaboku. You should use her instead."

Daikoku saw his master's face turn a little green out of the corner of his eye. "Y-You're horrible…" mumbled the goddess. She was really having a hard time believing such sadistic persons existed.

"Don't talk about Yukine that way! He…" A lump somewhere in his throat was making him having difficulty to speak. "He isn't… dead," finished Yato with his voice decreasing at the last word, his electric blue eyes hidden by his fringe, and fists clenched so tight that they were white and shaking.

"Yes he is, Yaboku. Do you want to check his corpse _that much_? Ah… What fathers wouldn't do for their children, I swear…" said Fujisaki with a chuckle, amused his son's distress.

"Well, he is just there. Look; you will see he is dead. I'm certain of it."

Yato raised his eyes to look at his father. He stopped breathing entirely when he saw his kid. He was completely limp, thrown over Fujisaki's shoulder. Yato felt sick to see this.

He looked like a child that Yato had killed when he was a little boy.

And _that_ lessened the probability that Yukine was alive. Yato knew that Father would have never taken such a risk if Yukine had even the slightest chance to be alive… He knew that Yato would save him, and he was a sadist. He wanted to see the last pieces of his _son_ 's heartbreak in front of him.

"Catch," said simply Fujisaki.

With a smirk, Fujisaki threw Yukine to the ground, as if it was nothing else than a weight on his shoulder, not a _child_ , just something burdening him and that he wanted to get rid of as soon as possible. And, as he had expected, Yato jumped to catch him in time, before his shinki shattered in a thousand pieces on the ground.

"Yukki!"

"Yukine-kun!"

Everybody was coming closer to the shinki, except Fujisaki and Nora who were enjoying the great view of Yato breaking down from afar. Daikoku and Kofuku and Hiyori were trying to approach Yukine, and asking if Yukine was really dead, and asking Yato if he was alright, but Yato tuned them all out. His attention was focused on Yukine, and _solely_ Yukine. He cradled his kid in his arms, under Nora and Father's satisfied eyes.

"H-His throat is..." mumbled Hiyori.

Yato laid him gently in the grass, and shuddered when he made contact with his bruised skin. His kid was frozen to the bone; he had never thought that someone _alive_ could be this cold. It was like…

"Why are you shuddering, Yaboku? Of course he is cold… Have you forgotten already? You used to touch bodies as cold as these ones in the past. Did staying with your little friends made your forget that? Yaboku, that's a _corpse._ He is _dead_. See for yourself."

Yato ignored his father's comment and forced his attention to go back to Yukine. His chest wasn't rising at all. Yato felt bile rise in his throat when he saw a large and deep-looking cut on his chest, starting to get infected. Nora let out a little laugh at his reaction. It… _It didn't belong there_.

Yato felt like the situation was too unrealistic to be true. A few hours ago, they had been doing on a job together, and doing maths…

Yukine couldn't be dead. Not… so suddenly.

Yato called for Sekki, because it wasn't possible. Simply impossible. Father knew that losing Yukine would destroy Yato.

He was cruel and horrible and inhuman, true, but… even he couldn't have gone that far, could he?

"Se…kki?"

He called for Sekki, once, twice, but nothing happened. He hadn't felt like crying for what must have been centuries now. But now… He honestly wondered why he should hold back anymore. Yukine's heart wasn't beating anymore… He wasn't breathing anymore… He couldn't feel his pulse, and his vital organs weren't functioning at all. He felt something already fragile tremble and tremble more before breaking in him.

 _Yukine was dead._

Guilt broke his heart in two perfect halves. If only he had protected him properly, then none of it would have happened… Yato grabbed his shinki's bloodied shoulders, clearly in denial. His mind had painfully understood the death, but his heart had not and was absolutely not ready to accept it. "Yukine wake up."

Daikoku turned his eyes away from them. "You told me that you wouldn't die, right? Don't make me worry like that, Yukine; wake up, please."

Hiyori started sobbing. "Come on, this isn't funny anymore. As your god, I-I order you to open your eyes."

Kofuku fell to her knees. "Open them. Open your eyes, Yukine! YUKINE!"

Father yawned while Yato grabbed the fabric of Yukine's t-shirt tighter. "Open your eyes… Yukine… I'm begging you, open your eyes…" Warm tears fell from his chin to mix up with the blood on his kid's chest.

"He is dead, _Yaboku_. It's useless to call him."

"Yukine… Yukine! YUKINE! **YUKINE!"**

Yukine was dead. Dead. _He was dead._

He had started to yell Yukine's name repeatedly before he could realize it, hands fisted on his shirt with no intention of letting his corpse go.

His world had just died right now.

Fujisaki advanced and picked up the lifeless shinki's body on the ground under Yato's dull eyes. Yato didn't move an inch and released his kid's clothes with stiff fingers and teary eyes.

He was frozen in place, unable to move or breathe in front of the horrible spectacle he had just witnessed. His gaze wandered to his hands, and he didn't know if the blood soiling his hands was from his shinki's wounds, or all the people he had slaughtered when he was a child.

Yukine is…

"G-Give me Yukine back, Father," hiccupped Yato. He passed his sleeve on his running nose and stared at his father defiantly. His voice was as shattered as he felt inside. "He is d-dead now. You don't need him anymore. Please, just leave me at least his corpse-"

"Uh-uh, I still need him. I'm going to bury him. Next to the tombstone you made for your beloved _Sakura_ , of course." Father's face hardened. "That's just an example of what happens when you disobey me. I hope that this time, you will do the right thing. Yukine, at the end, is only one person to add to the pile of persons you killed, _son."_


	3. An unending pain

**Thank a lot for the reviews.**

* * *

Yato teleported himself after Fujisaki and Nora left. The others had tried to talk to him, but he had tuned them out and had teleported without listening to anyone. He reappeared in a wide field nearby that he had visited during one of his jobs with Yukine once, hoping to find a special rock. There were many rocks in there, either half-buried in the ground either scattered on the dirt.

Yato wandered in the empty field until his eyes got sight of one stone capable of contenting him. It was long, thin and cold. But more importantly, it was light grey and flat, and it was good for what he wanted to do with.

He advanced towards it in a zombie-like pace, but his foot sudden got caught on something he had not paid attention to on the ground and he fell. He felt each of his ribs slam against the ground under him, one by one before his head finally made contact with it. It hurt.

He tried to focus on his physical pain to ignore the increasing sadness he was feeling inside, hoping that one would overshadow the other, but it didn't work. His chest was gently throbbing, and this was not comparable to what he was feeling in the inside. So it wasn't a good distraction then.

He let his mind being distracted from the horrible loss he just suffered by something else around him; smells. His nose was a few millimetres above the ground, and a smell of freshly ploughed dirt emanated from it. He let out a frosty sigh: that didn't work either.

Staying sprawled on the ground forever and never stand up again like that was really tempting, but eventually he rose to his two feet. He had no time to wallow right now; he had a mission to do. He couldn't let Yukine disappear, not in his mind because he knew that Yukine would never leave, but without leaving a physical trace of his presence, of his life.

Yato pulled it from the dirt and scrubbed all the fresh dirt on it with his bare hands until it was clean, then he came back with it in front of Kofuku's house. He crossed his arms on his chest, pressing the stone close to him, and dragged himself in the room upstairs before locking it.

…

"It has been five days already," said Kofuku.

"He hasn't finished mourning. We should let him grieve more, Kofuku."

Ever since Father left with Yukine's corpse… All they could do was watch what was left of Yato crumble to pieces, little by little. Nothing they said did something to erase the lifeless look in his eyes. Yet despite how sad he must be feeling, none of them had seen him cry or express his pain, not even once.

That was extremely worrying.

And Hiyori felt like crying because Yukine just _wasn't_ there, and her goofy and smiling Yato was completely gone, without any chance of coming back. Their trio she loved so much was _over_.

It had now been five days since Yato changed. He stayed locked in his room all day. He refused to eat, to speak or to do anything. Daikoku wondered how he had not lost consciousness by now because of under nutrition. But technically, he was a god… The only things capable of killing him were shinki, hafuri and Ayakashi. Hunger couldn't cause him to die, but still…

"I CAN'T!" had declared Kofuku the following day. It had already been six days, and she decided Yato's depression wouldn't last a day more. As her friend, she had to help him in difficult moments like this.

Kofuku climbed the stairs, stomping on each step of the stairs with her feet to make Yato hear that she would come. She banged on the door. "YATO-CHAN! OPEN THAT DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

An exhausted Yato welcomed her. "Stop making so much noise, Kofuku. You are giving me a headache. What's wrong?"

Her usually so bright eyes started to well up with tears. She crossed her arms. "Everything is wrong, Yato-chan! I…" she lowered his voice and unfolded her arms, and looked at her feet. "I-I know that you miss Yukki. We all do. Each day… Each i-instant, even. B-But… Closing yourself to us won't help you. We can help you… J-Just let us in. We will overcome t-this together."

"…What if Daikoku died because of you, Kofuku? What would you do?" answered flatly Yato.

The goddess stepped back in horror. "I…"

Yato stared at her and laughed mockingly at her. "…Of course you can't understand… You never lived that after all." Irony left his pale face, and he reverted to his previous tired expression. "Please leave me alone Kofuku. I'm tired. And before you ask, _no_ , I'm not hungry."

Yato closed the door weakly in front of a shocked Kofuku.

Two days after his goddess, Daikoku decided to try his luck. Things couldn't continue like this. The other members of the house felt as bad as Yato did about Yukine's death, or at least that's what they thought. Daikoku had knocked once at his door, with some onigiri in his hands. "Oi Yato, open that door."

He heard some slow and forced footsteps break through the deathly silence before the door's lock opened. Yato absolutely didn't look like himself. A strand of hair was covering one of his dull eyes, and he was slumped against the door like he couldn't stand up on his own. Which was true. He needed Yukine to stand up again.

"…What's wrong Daikoku?"

"…Come. We are eating."

"I'm not hungry. Thanks." Yato closed the door, but Daikoku put his foot in before the door could close.

"It had been _eight_ freaking days that you aren't hungry. Come on, Yato. This has gone too far already."

"…What has?"

Even Daikoku was taken aback by the flatness of his voice. Yato sounded so tired… Exhausted by everything. "Everything. _You_ have gone too far. _The situation_ has gone too far. _Your father_ has gone too far. Yato," he breathed, because Yato needed to understand. "Listen. I… I know this is hard, but-"

Yato scoffed. "You _know?_ You know how hard it is?"

" _Yes_ I know. I… Everything that happened with Daigo. I… lost a son too. I understand how you feel. I know the pain it's causing you. Knowing that you won't have your child here to smile and laugh and love him anymore… But despite what you are feeling, you can't stay depressed forever, you know. You can't continue to let yourself die like that."

"…"

"You have to advance in your life. And we are here for you to help you move forward. Kofuku and I supported each other with Daigo. Hiyori and Kofuku and I will help you with… with Yukine."

"…Daikoku. We suffered different experiences. You see, unlike me… Your son, Daigo… He didn't die like my Yukine did. Don't _say_ that you understand me. Please, leave me alone," and Yato slammed the door shut.

Again.

Daikoku stayed in front of the closed door during a few seconds and sighed. Well, he would have tried at least. He descended the stairs, and neither Kofuku nor Hiyori had to ask him how it went. They could see it on his face. "He didn't come then," noted Kofuku.

"No, he didn't," agreed Daikoku sadly as he put the food he had brought for Yato on the table.

"This…" Hiyori wiped her eyes. "This can't continue like this," she stood up abruptly. "I'm going to speak to him."

Daikoku grabbed her arm. "It's useless to speak to him now."

"Then you want me just to let him suffer in silence?!"

"I didn't say that, Hiyori-chan. Calm down. You should visit him too: you will probably have the most influence on him. But I think we pestered him enough for today. Your presence will lose impact if you go now or during the day since I already went. You should try another day."

"I wonder…"

"Wonder what, Kofuku?"

Kofuku hugged her knees, and put her head on their top. "…I wonder if Yato-chan intends to name another shinki. After all, without… w-without Yukki… he is defenceless. And if an Ayakashi attacks him, I will do more harm than good at the end if I try to protect him…"

Daikoku took a cigarette out of his pocket, and burned its tip with a lighter. "I don't think so, Kofuku. It will take some time before he even starts to talk to us, so naming another shinki… He won't submit himself to this feeling again."

Hiyori tightened her fists. A single thing was preoccupying her right now.

Yato… would he ever be the same again?

* * *

One day after Daikoku's attempt, Hiyori knocked at the door, thinking that maybe she could manage to talk some sense into him. "Yato, can I enter?"

Not receiving any answer from the god, she opened the door herself. The latter creaked slowly, and she let out a little sigh of relief when she saw Yato in the middle of the room. Yato's back was facing her, but she saw his arms moving and touch something on his lap.

"Yato?"

The god stopped his work to turn towards the high-school student. "It's you Hiyori…"

His voice didn't sound angry or hostile, but just… _tired._ "What… What are you doing, Yato?"

He returned to his previous task and answered Hiyori without looking at her. "I'm preparing a rock."

Hiyori knelt next to him. "…What for?"

"His tombstone. I want to make one. "

Hiyori's eyes became sadder. "That's nice. I'm sure he would have appreciated it. It's…" she bit her lip, unsure if she should say what she had in mind. "It's t-too bad we couldn't get the body to bury him under it."

"Mh-hm."

She sat down and hugged her knees to her chest. "…Where do you want to plant it?"

"I want to keep it in the room. I will put it next to my shrine."

Hiyori smiled, although she could feel tears pooling in her eyes. It was _that_ important to him… "I hope you will feel better when you finish it."

"Mh-hm."

 _I don't know if I will feel better one day, Hiyori. I miss him._

"…Do you want me to help you making it?"

"No. I… I _need_ to do this. I have to do it on my own, otherwise it would be meaningless."

Meaningless, huh… Yato was probably thinking that a tombstone would make him redeem himself…

His death had left a huge gash in his heart. A wound that she feared it would never heal, despite all their efforts. Despite how much they all wanted to. And the thought that Yato wouldn't ever be the same made her want to cry all the tears in her body until there wasn't anything to shed anymore.

She pulled herself painfully to her feet with her stiff legs. She had made enough small talk, and maybe now that he was thinking about something else, she could finally make him go somewhere. "I'm going downstairs, okay? Do you want to come too?"

"No. I have to finish this first."

Hiyori felt her breathing accelerate suddenly. "But you didn't eat today. And yesterday neither. It has been _nine_ _days_ , Yato. M-Maybe you should take a break and eat something, don't you think?"

"No thanks. I'm not really hungry."

"We can do the food you want. B-But you need to eat…"

"I am _not_ hungry, Hiyori. I am _fine."_

"But-"

" _Hiyori,_ enough _."_

Hiyori opened her mouth, but finally closed it. Her mouth felt dry, and her tongue refused to form proper words. She wanted Yato back so, _so_ much… Not having thought of another way to communicate her support, she hugged him from behind, and her tears fell in his unkempt hair. "Yato, hang on! I love you _so much_ , Yato… I… I-I can't bear to see you like that. Don't forget that I'm here for you. We all are."

His answer literally broke her heart. "Hiyori, could you please leave?"

She slowly withdrew her arms around his neck with a terribly sad and hurt look on her face at his rejection. She just wanted to help him… She swallowed down her tears and hurt and sadness, and stood up without a noise. "Okay, Yato. I'm leaving. G-Good luck with your… Take care of the tombstone, o-okay?"

"…" Yato hadn't turned towards her despite her clearly trembling voice, and only tightened his lips when she had left. Finally some _silence_ _._

Once outside, the girl started to sob hysterically. Yato was drifting farther and farther from them and would stay broken like that forever if they didn't help him. She wanted to help him so, so much, but… being helpless was painful beyond what words could describe.

Wiping her tears the best she could, she rejoiced Daikoku and Kofuku. "It didn't g-go well," sobbed Hiyori.

"Don't blame yourself, Hiyorin. Y-You did your best," said Kofuku while patting her back, eyes shining with sadness. But after a moment, she finally decided to take the sobbing girl next to her in her arms. Hiyori needed comfort, and she was just a kid… If Yato wasn't there to comfort her, then they had to do it instead.

"But if even _you_ didn't succeed to make him snap out of it… I don't know what to do then. I don't know how we can help him anymore."

Someone knocked at the door. Hiyori sniffled a little and stood up. "I-I will open."

The door's opening revealed Bishamon, the great goddess of war, and her hafuri Kazuma. She was wearing a sumptuous black dress and holding a bouquet of colourful flowers. Her long blonde hair was tied in an elegant bun behind her head. Kazuma was just behind her, wearing a black suit, with eyes like Hiyori had never seen before.

Or maybe she already had seen very alike eyes. Yato's.

"Bishamon-san…"

"May we enter?" asked Bishamon in a light voice.

"O-Of course. Enter, please," said Hiyori, moving aside to let the duo enter in the house.

Her tread was full of sadness and grace, and her high-heels hitting the floor with a soft noise. Hiyori was truly fascinated by this goddess' poise, and couldn't help but stare at her with awe in her eyes. She hoped she would become as beautiful as her when she grew up.

The goddess seemed to have noticed it, and turned towards her. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh! Uh, no… Don't mind me please."

Bishamon looked at her a little bit more before returning her gaze on the other goddess. "Hello, Kofuku-dono. Daikoku too. Where is Yato?"

Kofuku brought her folded legs close to her chest. She looked like a little child, as much in her attitude as in her voice. "He is upstairs. He locked himself in his room and refuses to go out. Yato-chan is depressed since Yukki… You must have heard about it, Bisha."

Bishamon nodded sadly. "Unfortunately… I heard about it recently. That's why I came. Kazuma wanted to offer him these flowers. And maybe speak to him a little if he accepts to."

Kazuma nodded, his lips pressed in a tight line. Bishamon tucked a strand of hair behind her shinki's hair, put the bouquet in her shinki's hand, who nodded and slowly starting to climb the stairs.

Bishamon looked at her shinki with a frown. "Poor Kazu-kun… That must be terrible for him. He was his teacher after all," mumbled Kofuku.

"Yes… He took that piece of news very hardly. I don't like to see Kazuma like that. He hasn't smiled once since he learned it. I feel his distress and deep sadness, and I really don't like it."

Kazuma climbed the stairs, the light weight of the flowers feeling heavy in his arms. Just thinking that Yukine was here barely a little more than a week ago made him sick to the stomach. He raised a tightly clenched fist to the door. He had had to try to speak several times before finding his voice. "Yato-san, may I enter?"

"…Who is it?"

"It's… It's me, Kazuma."

"…Enter."

Kazuma stiffened but gripped the door's handle and opened it. Yato sounded really tired, like he hadn't slept at all recently. But then he thought about it for a second and guessed that, after all, maybe he hadn't. He didn't remember Bishamon doing so either after all her shinki had been killed.

Yato was laid in his futon, holding tightly an oblong rock in his arms. Kazuma hadn't been that much in Kofuku's house, but he was sure that the room wasn't that dark usually. "Hello, Yato-san."

He would have normally asked how he was feeling, but supposed that he already knew the answer. No need to rub salt in the wound, especially not such a fresh and dolorous one. "I have brought flowers for…" he stopped, unable to pronounce the name of the recently dead hafuri.

Yato sat up and turned towards the shinki. "Thanks Kazuma."

Kazuma nodded and gulped, but the lump in his throat didn't disappear. He found himself having more difficulties to wish his condolences than what he thought.

He approached Yato and offered him the flowers. Yato liberated one of his arms around the rock to touch the petals of one of them with his fingertips, and a rare expression appeared on his face. "Wow. You really do know how to choose flowers, Kazuma. They are really beautiful."

"Y-Yes. White chrysanthemum and purple dianthus. Bishamon-sama advised me."

Yato raised one of his eyebrows. "Bishamon? Is she here too?"

"Yes, she is downstairs. She accompanied me here."

"Mm…"

Kazuma pushed his glasses back on the top on his nose, and let his gaze wander to the pictures hanged to the wall. They were all pretty, but one of them caught his attention as he approached from it. It was a picture of Yukine, Yato and Hiyori, taken at Capyperland. Yato had slung an arm around his shoulders and was smiling brightly, and Hiyori's expression showed a similar happiness. Yukine looked more embarrassed than anything on the picture, but it was clear that he was enjoying himself too, if the capyper's ears were an indication.

The sight of that boy under the frame grin made him want to cry.

He caressed it the cold glass recovering the photo his fingertips and let out a brittle laugh. Without turning towards Yato, he asked. "Tell me, Yato-san… What are you going to do now?"

"…"

"…Do you intend to name another shinki?"

That made Yato snap. "No."

The coldness in Yato's voice made him jump, and he finally turned towards his interlocutor. Yato was staring at him with a dangerous look. Kazuma understood that was threading on thin ices. "Don't. Ever. Tell me that again, Kazuma. Never. _I won't name another shinki_."

Tears were burning his eyes as he added in a sigh. "Never…"

Hearing the finality in the god's words, Kazuma started to wonder if Yato had lost his head. When the Ma clan was murdered, Bishamon had had Kazuma at least. But Yato had no one… Worry made his voice rise on its own before he could help it. "But Yato-san, you're defenceless without one! Do you know how many minor gods in your situation died? What will you do if an Ayakashi attacks you?!"

"I don't care if an Ayakashi blights me, Kazuma! _Yukine is dead!_ " yelled the god, almost bursting in tears.

"Y-Yato-san…"

Kazuma was astounded. Was this really Yato, this god so full of life and always smiling, who had said that? Was he ready to die just because Yukine wasn't here anymore?

He held the rock tighter, and hid his face behind it. He was falling apart. Kazuma had to leave now so that he wouldn't see that. "I'm sorry… for yelling. Come home please Kazuma. Thanks for the flowers, by the way."

Kazuma was left speechless in front of that shell of a god. To think that Yato, who was scared of dying and being forgotten and being alone, was saying this… "But Yato-"

"Come home Kazuma _."_

His tone let out no room for further argument, so Kazuma only bowed and left the room. "Excuse me for this outburst, Yato-san. I will take my leave right now."

Yato gripped the rock so tightly that his fingers felt numb and that some edges of the rock he had not polished enough were cutting his skin. He started to shake the second Kazuma left. Yukine was dead. He wasn't here anymore. This reality was definitely too hard to accept.

He hid his face behind the rock, and silent tears ran on his nose. He missed Yukine…

* * *

"So how did it go, Kazuma? Did you give him the flowers?"

Kazuma lowered his head and his lip started to tremble. Bishamon stood up in alarm and gripped her shinki's shoulders. "Kazuma? Kazuma what's wrong?!"

Kazuma flinched, but then took a calming breath. "…Nothing, Bishamon-sama. Please don't worry f-"

The goddess wiped his tear with her thumb. "No, no… It's not _nothing_. You're crying, Kazuma. What happened upstairs?"

Daikoku stood up, and put a hand on the troubled shinki's shoulder. "Bishamon-sama, why don't you speak with Yato? Don't worry about Kazuma; I will make him some tea. He will be fine."

"Y-Yeah, thanks Daikoku. I'm counting on you." Bishamon let go of her hafuri, and studied him for another moment before visiting Yato. She was reluctant to go because she wasn't that close to Yato and didn't want to leave Kazuma alone, even if he was with Daikoku, but she had to admit she was really worried about Yato too.

"Yato? It's me, it's Bishamon. I enter."

Her tone let no room for argument or questions, so she just entered. Yato was still in his futon on the floor. For all Bishamon hated him, she felt a pang to her heart: he looked truly miserable. Yato rasped without looking at her, and a little click made him understand that she had lit on the lights. God, why didn't they want to just leave him _alone?_

His irritation was clear in his voice. "What, do you intend to come one by one here or not? I think that Tenjin and his shinki didn't come yet. Or maybe Ebisu and Kunimi? Are they next on the list?"

"Stop fooling around, Yato. I'm serious. How long are you going to stay like that?"

"…Forever, I guess."

Bishamon knew that that passive attitude of his normally got on her nerves, but this time she forced herself to calm down. It had been a time when she suffered the same pain, so maybe she was in the best position to help him. She couldn't let him like that anyway. She sat, and spoke with her softest voice. "Listen Yato. There had been a time when I was just like you."

"When all my shinki died... It was the Ma clan's disappearance. I really felt something break in me, in my very core. I was having nightmares of them being sliced and explode. I was like you… I couldn't sleep anymore, I couldn't eat; I couldn't even _live_. But once I was all alone, the survivor, Kazuma, stayed at my side all day. He reassured me and comforted me and always made sure I didn't need anything. His presence helped me heal a lot. And with time, my sadness became bearable."

"You're in the same situation, Yato. Yukine… He isn't here anymore, and you feel lost. I understand how you feel. But if you stay alone like that, you are just going to break and break and shatter until there is nothing in you anymore. And… I don't want to see that happen. I don't want to see that happen, and neither does Kazuma. Or Daikoku. Or Kofuku. Or Hiyori. And… God, think about Yukine. He wouldn't want to see you like that, Yato. You look miserable, and I understand-"

Yato's frustration reached its climax. "But you don't understand!" yelled the god as he sat up.

He turned towards her, and her breath got caught up in her throat when she saw that Yato was _crying._ "You don't understand. You _don't_ understand. _None_ of you can understand!"

"Y-Yato…"

Bishamon bit her lip, and her motherly instincts made her hesitantly take Yato in her arms. Yato who, right now, looked like nothing else than a little child. "Stop crying, Yato. It's going to be alright."

The latter put his head on her shoulder, and continued to sob. "But you didn't see their lifeless eyes… You didn't see th-their blood… You didn't feel their frozen corpses under your fingers, Bishamon. And my Yukine w-was just a k-kid… He was my kid… I… Because of me…"

He took his head off her shoulder, and looked at her furiously, anger burning under his tears. And she sensed that that anger wasn't directed at her. "I killed your shinki, s-so you could blame me for their deaths. You have held a grudge during centuries and centuries, and your anger kept yourself going. It kept you _sane_ , Bishamon _._ But tell me, who can I blame beside _myself_ to have let that happen?!"

He broke down completely and was now nothing else than sobs and tears as he gripped Bishamon's shoulder again, more tightly this time, fingers gripping the sleeve on her dress like his life depended of it. "I-If only he hadn't m-m-met me, then… I'm so sorry, Y-Yukine… I d-didn't want you to… Oh, God, I'm… I'm sorry… I'm sorry, _Sakura…_ "

Bishamon didn't know who that Sakura was, but she just contented herself with holding Yato tighter and rubbing his back until he had finished crying. Honestly, she never would have thought that this kind of situation would ever happen to them. Yato, who had been her enemy until very recently, was completely breaking down and lowering all his emotional barriers in front of her...

After what it felt like a long moment, Bishamon felt the tears stop slipping in her dress' fabric, the fingers holding her sleeve fall limply to the ground, and the seemingly endless sobs being replaced by soft snores. She sighed when she realized that Yato had fallen asleep on her shoulder.

She continued to caress his hair a moment before putting him back in his futon, and covering him with his blanket to make sure he wasn't cold. He had cried himself to sleep. She noticed only now how different the god looked like asleep. His bright and usually shining eyes were tightly closed, and tearstains were clearly visible under them. His mouth, normally smiling was turned into a sad line.

She stared at the god pensively. She wasn't that close to Yato, honestly. Most of the time he annoyed her with his antics and his rash actions, and she still hadn't forgiven him about the _accidental_ kiss under the sakura tree. But, as she saw him asleep like that, looking like a sad child who didn't know how to cope with a situation…

She could swear that she saw a part of her in him.

She took off the rock in his arms, and lit off the light before closing the door behind her. She hoped that he would get better soon.

Kazuma looked like he was feeling better now, with a steaming cup of tea in his palms. Daikoku had said something that made him laugh a little. Kofuku forced a smile to Bishamon. "How did it go, Bisha? Did Yato-chan speak to you?"

The goddess tucked a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. "Yes. We spoke a little, but he fell asleep after that. I think it helped him, at least a little." She chose not the mention that he had cried in front of her; they were worried enough as it was. And they had probably heard him yell.

"That's a start, then. I'm glad he spoke to someone at least," smiled tearfully Hiyori, although she regretted not to be the one to have helped Yato. Once again, she felt _useless_.

"And it's not that surprising that he fell asleep… He must be so weakened. It has been nine days since he last ate, after all."

"Nine days?!" Bishamon shot a look at the door's room. She knew that gods couldn't die from hunger, _but_ … Was Yato in such a bad shape that he refused to eat? "I will come back tomorrow to speak to him, then. He cannot be left alone like that."

"Thanks, Bishamon-sama. I know I can count on you. If he is opening up to you, then maybe we're getting somewhere," smiled lightly Daikoku.

Bishamon returned the smile, and eclipsed herself with her shinki. She swore to herself that she would help Yato. She couldn't let him die, whether he wanted it or not.

* * *

 _He still felt the fear the underworld had given him, despite the fact that it had happened days and days ago. The memories just didn't seem to want to fade with time. He remembered Ebisu's death, and Izanami's dirty tricks. A lot of what-if scenarios repeated themselves in his head. What if Yukine had been there? What if it wasn't Ebisu who had died, but someone else? Kofuku? Bishamon? What if he hadn't managed to get out of here alive? What if Hiyori hadn't called him back?_

 _Today was one of the rare days he hadn't had a nightmare of it. He woke up alone in the room, and saw the sun was already high in the sky. Higher than usual, at least. Noticing that he had woken up later than when he normally did, he almost jumped to his feet and descended the stairs two by two. Daikoku would be furious at him, for sure._

" _Yato-chan! You're up!" sang Kofuku._

" _You're late, Yato!" growled Daikoku without any anger beneath his voice._

 _Yato said nothing, just stretched his limbs and back. He then let out his tension disappear in the form of a sigh as he let his arms fall loosely on his sides before sitting at one of the table's side. "Yeah, yeah, sorry Daikoku… I overslept. More importantly, what's for breakfast?"_

" _Today's special, Yato-chan, you can choose; you see, Daikoku was worried because you didn't eat well recently and prepared several menus to be sure you eat. Right, Daikoku?" winked Kofuku._

 _Yato turned his gaze towards Daikoku just in time to see him dive and disappear in the kitchen. But he didn't know that his red ear tips had betrayed him. Yato smiled gently where Kofuku's shinki was. "That's nice of him."_

" _We- I'm really relieved to see you finally getting better, Yato-chan. It has been a moment since you last smiled like that."_

" _Yeah, quite. I was starting to wonder if the underworld had made you forget how to do your stupid grin," added Yukine._

 _Yato smirked at his shinki. "Wonder? Wouldn't the right word be worry, my little Yukine?"_

" _No, I said wonder because that's what I wanted to say." He crossed his arms on his chest, and Yato felt something akin to pride emanate from his kid. "I know you're strong, so I don't need to worry."_

 _Yato gasped and looked at Yukine with surprised eyes. No one had ever said it to him before. Yukine noticed this look, and hurriedly changed the subject. "A-Anyway! What do you want for breakfast Yato? There are pancakes, or you can take a bowl of rice with furikake… Daikoku baked a strawberry cake earlier, you can have some if you want. Or maybe you can ask him to make scrambled eggs with bacon."_

 _Yato flashed a grin full of confidence. "I'll take them_ all _."_

 _Yukine rolled his eyes at his god's usual silliness, and Yato forced himself not to smile at this. "I was going to ask if you were stupid, but I guess I already know the answer." He took a calming breath and pinched his nose as he tried to explain the situation to his god without getting angry at him. "Listen Yato… you have to choose between what I said because you can't eat it all. It's not_ possible _. Do you really intend to eat a strawberry cake with bacon Yato?! It's gross!"_

" _Yukine… Is it a_ bet _you're giving me? You think I can't eat all?"_

 _Yukine opened his mouth to argue something back, but closed it when he caught the playful glint in Yato's eyes. He crossed his arms once again as a challenging grin appeared on his face. "What do you want to bet?"_

" _If I win, you must accompany me on the five next jobs. And not complain. And when I say not complain, I mean it. No complaint about how repetitive and annoying the job is and especially no complaint about my sweaty hands."_

 _Yukine became a little bit green. "Ugh, just thinking about your hands… Okay. And what if I win?"_

"… _You can have whatever you want. Oh, I know! I invite you in a restaurant, and I'll pay everything you choose to take."_

 _Yukine slapped Yato's hand. "Deal! Everything is better than your being in your sweaty hands, anyway."_

 _Yukine then slipped in the kitchen and re-emerged later from it later, a clearly exasperated Daikoku behind him. His plate was full of the previously mentioned foods, and the slice of cake almost fell twice before reaching Yato. Yato gulped, starting to doubt if he could really eat it all._

 _Yukine put the plate in front of his god and grinned triumphantly, his hand on his hips. "Heh heh. I'm sorry for you, but it looks like you will be going on your next_ annoying _jobs alone after all,_ Drippy _."_

 _Yato stayed mute, and took his fork with a determined hand. His honour as a god was at stake, and he could let his kid humiliate him like that. His hair curtained his face during a moment before he cried out with a funny expression. "…DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME!"_

Yato opened his eyes with some difficulty and let out a shuddering breath. He didn't know why he had dreamt of that, all of a sudden. About such a trivial thing. An almost invisible smile appeared on his face: he still could remember everybody's gazes on him as he pushed the last bite of the strawberry cake down his throat, and the expression between amazement and despair on Yukine's face as he realized that he would have to do the jobs without complain.

His head felt like it had been stuffed with cotton. He wondered how much he had cried. Yato looked at the tombstone next to his bed numbly, wondering for a second how it had gotten this far. He didn't remember to have let it go. He extended his arm to retrieve it, and hugged the tombstone tightly.

"Yukine…"

It had already been nine days, yet Yato still wondered if he would one day accept that Yukine wasn't here anymore.


	4. Saved ?

Yukine woke up not knowing where he was at all. He was cold. And the room was cold too. He wondered where Yato was.

He heard faint voices afar, and focused on them, hoping that maybe he could learn where he was. He tried to move, but a metallic sound prevented him to do so. Chains? Was he chained? "Do you think he has woken up by now, Father?"

"He should have… It would bother me if he was really dead. It would ruin the dramatic effect. Let's see him, Mizuchi."

Yukine knew that he had already heard these voices, and forced his mind to put faces on them instead of going back to sleep again like he wanted to so much. There was a man's voice… It sounded very young. It couldn't be Yato's. Along with a little girl.

"Yes, he is awake. Whew. What a relief, I was starting to worry if I had beaten him too much."

He heard footsteps coming closer to him, and then all of a sudden a face appeared in his field of view, just above him, a few centimetres apart from his own. "Hello there. Did you sleep well?"

But Yukine's eyes stayed dull, wide, and incomprehensive. He had not reacted at all. Father stared at Yukine some more, before frowning. "What are you making that face for? Don't you recognize me?"

He turned towards what looked like a little girl. "No way… We couldn't have caused him brain damage, right Mizuchi?"

"… I don't think so… I don't think we hit his head so much that it caused brain damage, Father. But then again, it is only my opinion." answered the girl. So she was apparently called Mizuchi, huh.

The young man looked at Mizuchi with a puzzled look before returning his gaze to the shinki on the ground. "Hmm… Yukine? It's me, Yaboku's father. You recognize me, right?" He waved his hand in front of Yukine's unresponsive eyes. "Heeeeeey."

 _Yaboku's father… Yaboku's father…_ First of all, Yukine knew that he knew no one called Yaboku. He frowned, and tried his hardest to remember. This name was vaguely familiar…

A terrible voice rang in his aching head.

 **" _Yaboku's hafuri, you're going to accompany us now."_**

Yukine gasped as everything rushed back to him. He had been on a job with Yato, and Nora had attacked him while he was separated from him. Then Fujisaki and Nora had caught him and…

He yelled, his head become suddenly impossibly painful as more and more memories came back to him. Fujisaki tsked before gripping one of his arms so tightly that it hurt, and slamming his other palm against the scared shinki's mouth. "Ah, I _knew_ that you would remember. But don't yell yet… The fun hasn't even started. Since you are alive in the end…"

Yukine pressed his lips together and struggled wildly to get free of this deathly grip around his arm, metal clinging loudly in protest. His earlier injuries hadn't healed yet, and he felt them being opened wider and wider at each of his movements. Helpless tears ran down his face, and he managed to yell despite the hand blocking him. "Let me go! Don't touch me; I want to see Yato!"

Nora snorted. "Haven't you seen? Yato isn't here. He isn't here to save you, and he doesn't want to see you."

"Shut up, Nora! I'm not like you; Yato loves me!"

Father gave a good strike to Yukine on his temple, making him stop speaking immediately. "Hey, _shut up._ I thought you had learnt the rules by now. Mention Yaboku once again and you know what will happen."

Yukine shut up immediately.

She smiled evilly. "You know, Yukine, you have been there for _nine_ days. And Yato didn't come to search you. Not even once. He doesn't need a weak shinki like you. Didn't you understand that he didn't love you?"

That's when Yukine froze completely. His mouth became suddenly very dry. It had already been… nine days…? Then why… "Of course h-he loves me. He loves me!"

"You think people love you, but you're wrong."

Father put two fingers on Yukine's bloody forehead. "In your precedent life, you thought a lot of people loved you. An awful lot. But at the end, nobody did, and that's why you died. Don't you remember this, for example?"

 _The little boy was huddled in the corner of his bedroom, shaking, crying, hurting. His father had come home even more drunk than usual, and his body had not healed yet of the previous night's injuries. He had not gone to school because he hadn't been able to move all day._

 _He felt so dizzy, and so tired… The second when he closed his dull eyes, someone slammed the door open._

"' _Help me.'"_

 _His father threw the letters on the ground before stomping on them._

"' _Father is dangerous.', 'I hope you can take me with you soon.', 'I'm scared, Mom. I don't know what he will do next.' Who do you think you are exactly to write that, huh?"_

 _The little boy mustered all his courage and talked back to his father for the first time in his life, despite his shaking and the pain he felt in his battered body which would worsen by doing that. He rubbed his reddened eyes and spoke in a wavering voice. "That's t-true. All y-you do is drinking, every d-day. Y-You sh-sh-should go to the h-"_

 _His father's large hand met his head, making it smash hard against the wall and leaving a red mark on his son's cheek. A sound of bone cracking rang in the air. "SHUT UP, YOU BRAT! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO TALK TO ME LIKE THIS?!"_

 _The boy started crying again, his hand on his new wound. His face was all sticky because of the tears on his face, and he looked at his father with new tears in his eyes and teeth gritted._

 _The father grabbed his terrified son's face and laughed, hysterical, his alcoholic breath making him want to vomit. "Listen to me now. You will never be saved. Neither your sister nor Mommy are going to save you. No… You are going to be stuck with me, forever."_

 _His voice lowered as he smiled and murmured tenderly while bringing the little boy's face closer. "But if that reassures you… you aren't going to live so much more,_ son _."_

" _Soon… Soon you will disappear, trust me."_

…

"Wha… What was that?" asked Yukine in an almost silent voice, his eyes wide.

"Good question. This is one of your memories of the life before you died." Yukine gripped his throbbing skull with both hands and gritted his teeth so strongly that he felt like they could break. His head felt like it was going to explode right now.

"That man you thought he loved so much… At the end, he didn't. Not at all. Someone who loves you doesn't beat you until you bleed every day."

"And Yaboku doesn't love you either. Proof, he lets me beat you to death without doing anything to help you. It doesn't bother him, what is happening to you. He doesn't love you. He won't smile seeing you. He won't ever be happy with someone as weak and useless as you."

And Yukine knew that it was false… He _knew_ it. They were just tormenting him and manipulating him for their sick pleasure. Despite their turbulent start, a strong bond was now linking him to his master. They had lived with each other and risked their lives for each other and reassured each other too many times not to care. Each promise and each laugh had brought them closer and closer.

 _And yet…_ It had already been nine days. Nine days that Yukine was beaten daily, hurt, trapped here. And Yato hadn't come. When he thought about it, nine days was a long period. A thought crossed his mind: and if Yato had chosen a new shinki to replace Yukine?

Because a god couldn't stay during such a long time alone. And Yato was a minor one. It would be dangerous if someone attacked him, he wouldn't be able to reincarnate. And Yato was terrified of disappearing. If Yato had found himself a new shinki, then… that would explain why he hadn't come to search Yukine yet. He was busy with a stronger and more important shinki than him, huh.

Yato…

" _Of course I know that, Yukine! Seriously, for how long do you think I have been a god?"_

Could he really have abandoned him in such a way? Without any regrets?

" _See, my kid's great, huh? He even became a hafuri, just for me!"_

It wasn't possible…

"Or maybe you need a more concrete proof… That Yaboku doesn't love you, and won't come to rescue you."

Fujisaki sat cross-legged on the floor. "Mizuchi came to see how Yaboku was a few days ago. Yaboku… He has replaced you with another shinki, you know. A girl. Her name is Sakura."

Yukine coughed and coughed, and some blood trickled down his dry lips. "He d-didn't replace me."

"Yes he did. Just ask him who Sakura is, you will see. It's his shinki."

Fujisaki left, leaving Yukine with only his thoughts for company. He soon drifted to unconsciousness, wondering a single thing before darkness became everything he could see.

 _Sakura… Who was she?_

* * *

The only sound in Yato's room was the sound of the ticking clock on the wall. He didn't know why, but all his thoughts seemed to circle back to his shinki. His dead shinki, buried under thick layers of dirt underground like Father had said.

If Yukine had been here, he would have insulted Yato, saying that he was a silly and lazy god. He would have forced him to go out to kill an insane number of Ayakashi. He would have complained at length about his sweaty palms hands, and would have hit Yato when he would praise him too much, and…

He let out a sigh. As Bishamon had said, Yukine wouldn't have been happy to see him like that.

Yato regretted not to have been able to say all the things he would have liked to tell him earlier. How much he cared about him, how much he loved him… All these little things you always think without saying it, and can only regret not to have said them to the person you love when they're gone.

He sighed. It was pointless to dwell on those things right now. Yukine was definitely dead, and there was no turning back at that.

He had already experienced that feeling of loss with Sakura, when he was a still naïve little boy who believed in everything his father told him. Her beautiful face distorted when she learnt her true name… The tears falling from her monstrous eyes too were recurring elements of his nightmares. He knew it was a wound that would never heal completely.

But when he named Yukine… He thought that maybe thanks to the smiles and laughs of that little boy that became his, Yato's own sadness would fade, little by little. Not disappear entirely, but just… become bearable. And now, Yukine was dead.

He would have liked to know how he did die exactly, more precisely than ' _he had succumbed to his wounds'_.

He grumbled when he realized that he had just thought of the same thing a few seconds ago. Not knowing what else to do, he sat up, and stared at the tombstone, almost wishing that staring at it enough would make Yukine come back.

 _It's raining…_

A knock startled him out of his thoughts. "Yato? It's Bishamon again. I enter."

Before he could say anything, the goddess entered. Yato frowned, and rasped. "W-Why did you come again? You already came today, didn't you? Did you forget something?"

Bishamon shook her head. "No, it was yesterday. I'm here because I need to speak with you some more. Well, more like you need to speak. You fell asleep yesterday, so I came today."

"O-kay…"

Yato eyed her warily, leant on his elbow, as she walked in the room and advanced towards the window. He didn't understand why she was here. After opening it, she placed a small package next to him. "What is that?"

"Food. You haven't eaten today."

"…"

"It's stuffy here. You should open the windows more often," pursued the goddess, staring outside with a frown. Yato didn't react to her comment. They weren't on so good terms, and it was strange that she had come twice solely for him. A possible reason for her visit made him speak. "Did you come to accompany Kazuma again?"

"No. I came alone today. We need to talk."

Bishamon sat next to Yato, entirely focused on the god. She was acting really weird today. "Okay. Who is she?"

"…Who is who?"

"Sakura."

Yato's eyes narrowed. "Where did you hear this name?"

"…Did you forget? You mentioned her yesterday. You talked a little about… about Yukine, and you cried and then you apologized to her."

Yato's eyes dulled even more, and Bishamon immediately regretted to have asked this because he looked like he was dead already. "Oh…" He regretted to have lacked vigilance. But it was better that he had made this slip-up in front of Bishamon than in front of Daikoku, or Kofuku, or Hiyori. Perhaps because she was one of the best placed to understand him in this world of gods and shinki.

"So, who is she? That Sakura," insisted Bishamon.

"…She was my shinki."

"I had already figured that. And?"

Yato sighed. He knew that she wouldn't be satisfied with so little information. But he knew that he couldn't tell her everything which had happened with her. Selecting his words more carefully this time – Bishamon knowing about Sakura was enough, thank you -, he answered. "Sakura was my shinki, by the time when I still lived with Father. She… taught me that killing wasn't good, among other things… That stealing wasn't good. But Father thought that she was a bad influence on me. And one day, he… _I_ revealed her a god's greatest secret."

Bishamon gasped. "After that, she turned into an ayakashi. And Father forced me to kill her."

"Wait. What do you mean, _you_ revealed her a God's Greatest Secret? Didn't you…"

"…"

Bishamon's eyes saddened as she saw Yato's expression. She wouldn't have answers about that one. "So that's how she died. I'm sorry Yato."

"Sakura, and…" He gulped. "Y-Yukine too. They were both my shinki, and they were both killed because of Father. That's probably why I mentioned her subconsciously."

Bishamon stayed silent, choosing not to say that it wasn't Yato's fault that Yukine had died. He needed to talk more and would shut down if she said that. "How did you consider Sakura?"

"…I loved her very much. Like a mother maybe, not that I have something to compare with. She advised me in life, and taught me many things. I will forever owe her." He added in an afterthought. "Both killed by a magatsukami, huh…"

"Yato, I…" Bishamon opened her mouth, but closed it. Judging by the misty look in Yato's eyes and the tight line that his lips formed, the discussion was over. "Do you want me to leave?"

"Yeah please. I appreciated to talk with you, but I need some time alone." said Yato more harshly than he had wanted.

"Very well. Try to eat something, though."

"…Yeah. Bye."

Yato honestly appreciated her help, because it showed that she cared and it always felt good to see someone _care_ , but really didn't think that she could manage to heal that traumatism even with all her efforts. It was too deeply rooted in his soul, since his childhood, after all.

* * *

Yukine forced his head to turn despite the blight in his neck. _Where am I…? I… Are they going to come back to beat me again…?_ Given all the things they had done last days… Well, he couldn't remember all of them, empty as he was. Just… pain. He was drained of blood, of emotions, of strength. He felt like he had reached his breaking point.

He blinked twice. Nobody was here, and that the door in front of him was ajar. A breeze was making it swing a little, and suddenly that door looked extremely tenting. Plus, he wasn't chained anymore. Mustering all the strength he found in his weakened body, he crawled towards it with a crazy hope animating him.

Because he was alone now… Maybe he could escape.

To be honest, it seemed too good to be true. He really doubted that he could go far with his battered body but decided to try. He had nothing to lose by trying it. He knew that they would kill him soon anyway. He would try to go as far as his legs could support him until he collapsed. He had to see Yato, one last time. He had to try at least…

He almost cried in joy when he managed to reach the door. So he wasn't as weak as he felt. That was good to know.

Pulling himself to his feet as silently as he could, he pushed the door wide open with a sudden burst of adrenaline. He let out a small whimper, but otherwise managed not to make sound. Seeing the outside world after being confined for days in a black and gloomy room was a wonderful experience to him. His infected injuries were making him dizzy, but he ignored that. He had no time to focus on this.

And he couldn't let himself be distracted by the scenery either. He had something to do, and he had to hurry.

Forcing his injured ankle to support his weight, he placed a bloodied foot in the wet grass. After checking that nobody was here, he moved. He was sure that adrenaline was the only thing making him capable of moving right now. Because honestly, it wouldn't surprise him at all if he collapsed and dropped dead right here right now.

As he was turned back, he noticed that he was leaving bloodied footprints behind him. He frowned at them. If that continued, they would find him… And he wasn't sure for how long he could stay conscious again…

He shrugged, decided to focus on his surroundings first, and not on the possible outcomes of his escape. If he searched well, then maybe he would find somewhere to wash his feet so that they don't bleed anymore. Well, given that he had open gashes everywhere in his body, they would just stop bleeding momentarily, but it would be good. They would have lost track of him already.

The first step he made almost made him collapse in pain. He winced, and felt tears run on his nose when he lowered his head and gritted his teeth. His whole body felt heavy, so heavy… It felt like the ground was attracting him, waiting his collapse. But he continued to advance, walking straight in front of him. He decided to do so until he finally saw something familiar.

His breathing was laboured, and it was suddenly very painful to breathe. He hadn't realized it before, but supposed that something must be very wrong with his lungs to breathe like that. Judging by how hot he felt and his abnormal level of sweat, he knew he was running a fever. He didn't know how high it was, but it made his sight be fuzzy, like he was underwater.

Yato loved him. Yato loved him, and he had certainly not replaced him with another shinki. He was sure of it… Because if Yato didn't love him, and didn't want him to be his friend and his weapon and his kid anymore, then what was his purpose? Why was he still alive?

He didn't want anybody to interfere with their relationship. He was Yato's pride and joy, his hafuri, his one and only. He wanted to see Yato's smile as _he_ opened his eyes, to hear how relieved he was, to see that he hadn't replaced him, and everything to go back the way it was before.

He arrived at the edge of a vaguely familiar forest, and sighed in relief. Maybe he was finally getting somewhere… He smiled as hope flooded in him, and took a step forwards. Suddenly, he became extremely dizzy and everything became black as he fell loudly in the mud.

A broken smile appeared on his face. So, he didn't manage to find Yato in the end.

* * *

After what must have been an hour, Yato decided to stop doing the stupid and pointless activity of counting the raindrops on the window. He had to do something, not just stay here waiting for a death that would never come.

Supposing that he wouldn't be able to fully mourn his death without this, Yato forced his legs to make him stand up. He felt wobbly, and the aftereffects of his under nutrition hit him with full strength. He winced, shook his head, and looked at his reflection in the mirror hanged to the wall, before letting out a small laugh at the sight. "I'm really a mess."

He almost didn't recognize himself. He was sure that he had never been this pale in his life; he looked like a walking corpse. No wonder the others were so worried. His hair had grown a little bit, going just a little below his shoulders, and his eyes had completely lost life and were so dull that he almost didn't believe they were his. The electricity and joy and natural good humour in them were long gone.

He brushed his teeth, his hair, took a quick shower, and hesitated. He then decided that he should wear something different today. Rummaging through his clothes, he finally decided to wear a pair of white jeans, and a plain black and long-sleeved t-shirt. A smile tugged at his lips. It felt good to change clothes once in a while. Although he would have preferred to do so under different circumstances.

He slipped a few five yen coins in his front pocket, and headed downstairs. "Where are you going, Yato-chan?"

"Where we last did our mission. I'm going to buy some flowers too. I have to think about everything. I'm going to stay there for a few hours, probably. Don't wait for me to eat."

Kofuku nodded, and kept her sad gaze on Yato walking towards the entrance door, sitting on the genkan to put on his shoes. "Won't you be cold, Yato-chan? It r-"

"I know it rained. Don't worry, I will be fine." The goddess looked at the ground sadly and nodded. She felt really helpless, unable of helping one of her dearest friends. He stood up when he was finished. "I-It's good to see you out of your room."

"Kofuku."

"Wh-What is it, Yato-chan?"

"Thanks. I appreciate what you are all doing. Bishamon, Hiyori, Daikoku, you and Kazuma too." said Yato before smiling dimly at her and closing the door behind him. Thrusting his hands in his jean's pockets, he started to walk. The florist first, then.

After some twenty minutes of walk in the almost deserted streets, Yato arrived in front of a little flower shop. The boutique was not very illuminated and quite empty, but he still entered. He only needed one thing after all, and even in such a small shop he knew that he could find it.

A young woman came to his side immediately. "Welcome!"

He answered her, more by politeness than anything. He honestly wished she had someone else to bother; he was not in the mood of dealing with anyone. The salesperson looked a little bit taken aback by the god's coldness, but kept her smile. "Good sir, are you looking for a flower in particular? Or a whole bouquet? Do you have a precise idea of what you want?"

"…I'm looking for a rose. Just a rose; a red one."

Yato thought that she was probably wondering what was wrong with him and felt regret gnawing his heart at his underserved coldness, but he brushed it off. It wasn't like he was going to tell what was wrong to a total stranger, and the girl didn't seem to mind that much as she left and reappeared a moment later with the item in hand. "Does that satisfy you?"

Yato barely nodded, and the salesgirl finished by expressing her worry. "Um… Sorry for asking, because it's probably none of my business, but… Are you alright, sir? You look… pale."

"…Yes, I am alright."

She bit her lip and tightened her fingers around the rose's stalk. "…Is this flower… for a funeral or something like that?"

"It's for my kid," answered the god sadly, already feeling tears sting his eyes whenever he mentioned Yukine.

The young girl gasped, the stranger's behaviour making suddenly a lot more sense. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't know…" The girl opened her mouth, closed it, but finally dared to mumble. "H-How old was he?"

"…Fourteen."

The girl shrank on herself, and bit her lower lip, completely ashamed of having asked something so personal. "I'm sorry… All my condolences. I… hope he didn't suffer…"

 _Oh, trust me, he_ did _suffer. He suffered. He suffered too much._

"Thanks. How much is it?"

The girl stared at the rose and at its delicate petals. "I-It won't cost you anything. I offer it to you."

Yato raised his head a little to meet the saleswoman's eyes. "Really?"

"Mh-hm. You won't pay. I will wrap it up, just an instant…"

The sound of a machine rang in the air, followed by the sharp sound of something cut and another one of plastic. "H-Here. Take that."

"Well, thank you. It's nice of you."

"…"

"…"

"If you don't bother me asking… how did… your son die?"

He let his darkened gaze wander on the walls. "…Someone murdered him. I'm afraid I don't know exactly how he did die, though. I only saw his corpse for a little moment. But I think he was beaten to death."

The girl wiped her eyes quickly, and Yato felt a little bit bad. The girl was young; there was no need to give her such details. "Such a young boy… I-It's awful. Did the murderer get away with his crime?"

"Well, yes, for now. But I intend to make him pay from taking him away from me too." An awkward silence passed before Yato cleared his throat. "Well, I have to go. I bid you good bye, miss. And thanks for the rose."

"Mh-hm… It's such a horrible thing for a parent, to attend to his child's burial."

 _You don't say. Horrible is an understatement. I miss Yukine. I want my Yukine back._

"Goodbye, sir. Good luck for the funeral."

The god nodded with his lips squashed together and left the shop hurriedly. He inhaled some cold and fresh air once outside, and exhaled it after a few seconds. He had the flower, so he just had to go to the forest now… Yato knew that he could teleport, but he chose to walk and use that time to think. He hoped the noise around him could drown his sadness, and make him think about something else.

Mistake.

Children's cries were coming from nearby, probably from a park if he had to guess. They were laughing and clearly having fun, but none of these sounds soothed Yato's heart, unfortunately. He wished they would just shut up. He didn't like hearing other people screaming their happiness while he was feeling utterly miserable.

None of the sounds he heard were from _his_ kid. None of these children were _his_ kid. He felt jealous all of a sudden. All these parents had their kids with them, while he had not his. It wasn't fair.

 _I wish Yukine would come back._

"Ew Yato, how long are you going to just stay here and stalk these kids? You're really creepy," said a painfully familiar voice.

And Yato's breathing stopped all of a sudden as all air fled his lungs. Tears stung his eyes, tears which finally fell and rolled on his cheeks. It couldn't be… "Yukine…?"

"Well yeah, that's my name." Yukine came closer to the frozen and wide-eyed Yato, and frowned. Something was wrong with his god, clearly. "Yato? Hey, what's wr-"

Yato rushed towards his kid and embraced him as tightly as he could before he disappeared. He put his hand on his bright blonde hair, almost recovering it entirely. Yukine's body felt warm and comforting against his, and despite the fact that it wasn't possible for him to be here, Yato felt himself tremble. Yukine _was here._

Yukine - was it really Yukine? Or an illusion? A hallucination? - stayed silent. "I'm sorry, Yukine… I'm sorry…"

"Yato…"

But Yato slowly released his grip on the child as he understood what was going on. His voice sounded… off. Too high-pitched, too soft. And now that he thought about it, Yukine wasn't that small. He had hugged him a few times, and knew that it wasn't him. His eyes widened as he released the child in his arms.

He had been used to many dirty tricks and emotional pains caused by his father during all the centuries he lived, but _this_ …

Little by little, his heart breaking with each step, he stepped back from his former shinki. His left hand tightened around the rose. "It's you, Nora."

The girl changed into her real appearance, and Father soon appeared behind her. He wanted to break down right here and now, ashamed to have let himself be tricked by this illusion. Yukine would _never_ come back. His heart felt like bursting with pain and grief and sorrow.

Fujisaki appeared in front of his son with a sly grin. "I know that it would cause a reaction, but _this_? What was that, Yaboku? You miss your kid _that_ much? Oh come on, don't cry."

Yato gritted his teeth, and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. What a bastard. "Well anyway, I finally found you so you're going to help me. Listen, I know that you are mad at me and all, but I have a real problem here and I need you to help me."

"…"

"Your shinki escaped! Mizuchi and I had just left for two minutes and when we came back, he wasn't there anymore. I started to follow his footsteps because they were covered in blood, but I lost him because of the rain. Don't you have an idea of where he might be?"

"…"

"See how happy you were to finally have him back? That's why you have to help me find him. Please, Yaboku, pretty pretty please…"

"…"

A nerve ticked on Fujisaki's forehead. "Hey Yaboku, stop giving me the silent treatment and help me out! Daddy asks you help."

The god was fully trembling, but didn't know if it was because of hatred towards his creator for what he had just done, or sorrow at having seen his kid again for it all to be a lie. Either way, it was painful. "…What are you trying to do exactly?"

"…What do you mean? I'm trying to find your kid."

Yato didn't raise his head, and continued to mutter angrily. "You have always done that. Break me and break me until there is nothing left of me anymore. But that's okay, you know. I have lived that for so long that I almost feel numb to what you do to me. It mattered once, but it doesn't matter _anymore_."

His voice took a half-pained and half-broken edge. "Breaking me for your pleasure is one thing, but threatening my family and _murdering_ my kid is another one. You went too far this time, Father. You _murdered_ Yukine. Yukine is dead, and won't ever come back to me, so stop saying that he is alive and that he is lost. It's useless to do that; there is nothing left in me for you to destroy for your sick pleasure."

He threw a heinous look at Nora, who flinched a little. She at least had the decency of feeling guilty at what she did. It was good, but unfortunately not enough for him. "That illusion… Seriously? Don't you think that you have done enough? Is what you have done not _fucking_ enough so you decided to continue? Until _when_ , Father? When will you finally stop?"

Fujisaki crossed his arms, and frowned at Yato. "Wow… I had no idea you took it like that, Yaboku."

Yato's voice deflated itself of its anger. "It's one of your specialities to say that… See, it's not that you had no idea; it's just that you _don't_ care. You don't care about what I might feel or think, and you never did. But that's okay, you know. I just ask you not to appear ever again in front of me. Not you, and not Nora either. Stay away from me, and stay away from _what is left of_ my family. Because I swear… Next time I see you, father or not, lifeline or not, I will murder you without thinking twice about it."

Fujisaki blinked twice, and laughed a little. "Murder me? You're bluffing. You wouldn't do that, Yaboku. If you murder me, you will die, and you're scared of dying."

"Hiyori hasn't forgotten about me, so even if you died, there would still be someone to remember me. But even if she doesn't, that's okay. I will just disappear, and that will be it."

Fujisaki was left mouth agape at his words, and an uncomfortable feeling settled in his stomach. Yato had never spoken like that. "You would be ready to die just for that? Just because your kid died?"

Yato felt tired of that discussion, of that situation, of everything. He had always said that death wasn't a solution and that if someone wanted to die, then it was their decision to kill themselves, but… right now, he was _tired._ He didn't have anything left to care about anymore.

Fujisaki waited an instant more before grumbling. "Okay, so you're not going to help me. Fine, I will search him and find him on my own."

And he teleported with Nora, leaving Yato alone with his thoughts.

Something was whirling in him, and almost putting tears in his eyes. Father had succeeded making him doubt. Could it be possible that Yukine was really alive, and that he had waited for Yato all this time? And that Yato, focusing solely on his own pain and despair, had abandoned Yukine?

He ran his hand on his face, and continued to walk towards the forest with his aching heart. He knew he had to stop thinking like this. Yukine was _dead_ , for God's sake. That was the cold, painful and hard truth. The pain would become unbearable soon if he continued dwelling on these 'ifs'. This was just torturing him more, and would do more harm than good.

At the edge of that now familiar forest, Yato froze. All the muscles in his body stopped functioning during an instant, and the rose fell soundlessly to the ground, losing a petal when it made contact with the muddy ground. An extremely familiar little boy was on the ground, in a puddle of blood and mud, a few metres from him.


	5. Fatality

He… didn't really know what had happened next. Everything was fuzzy around him. He remembered that he came home, and muttered that he had seen Yukine at the forest. Daikoku had headed to the forest after that, and immediately found the shinki. He had treated Yukine with the first-aid kit he brought so that he wouldn't suffer _too_ much, and after that Hiyori had insisted to bring him to her parent's hospital to heal him properly, saying that she had already asked a room to be prepared.

She had called her mother earlier. The poor woman was beside herself with worry; her daughter had disappeared during days without giving any explanation. It didn't cross her mind before, but her mother must indeed have been worried not having any news of her daughter during days. The woman stopped chewing at her fingernail to look at the door when it opened. "Hiyori!"

Her parents ran towards her the second she entered the room, giving her a tight embrace. "Hiyori! Disappearing like that... Your father and I were worried! We were so worried, Hiyori!"

The girl tightened her arms around them, trying to stop her mother's tears without success. She had a bad tendency to worry, and she realized that it had not been really fair of her to have left like that without telling anyone. Not that she didn't have a reason to have acted like that, but still. "I'm sorry to have worried you like that, Mother. Father too… It won't happen again, I promise."

Sayuri wiped her tears, and smiled a little to her daughter. "You will tell us later, okay, Hiyori?" Her eyes narrowed on the person behind Hiyori as she came closer to him as she put herself to work. "My apologies for that little scene." She wiped her eyes once more. "So you must be Yato-san. And the young boy is Yukine-san, is that right…?"

Yato nodded, and she started examining Yukine a little. "Dear, dear… It's terrible. His fever is so high… I will take care of him. Yato-san, could you put him on that stretcher, please? We will bring him in a room, and I will tell you when he is awake."

The god obeyed without saying a word, not noticing the worried look Hiyori and Kofuku were giving him. He felt a lot colder without Yukine in his arms. "Good… It shouldn't take that long."

Hiyori's mother offered him a smile which was probably intended to be reassuring but didn't appease Yato one bit before leaving the room with a few male nurses and Yukine on the stretcher, leaving her daughter, her husband, Kofuku, Daikoku, and Yato alone.

The shinki sighed. "Tell us if he wakes up; we will visit later. Come, Kofuku."

"What?! B-But!" The shinki bent to murmur something in the goddess' ear. She bit her lip, and nodded. "Okay. See you later then Hiyorin, Yato-chan."

Hiyori waved them goodbye, but her attention quickly returned to the god. Yato gritted his teeth a second after they left as he started to tilt dangerously forward. He knew that he would have collapsed if Takamasa, Hiyori's father, had not caught him in time. Hiyori gasped. "Yato!" Not wasting a second, she grabbed a chair and motioned her father to make Yato sit on it.

"S-Sorry, Hiyori. I was just feeling a little bit light-headed. But I'm fine," mumbled Yato, covering his face with his palm. His head was killing him.

"Yato, are you sure you're okay? You're looking very pale!" worried Hiyori, knelt in front of him.

"I don't want to be rude, but it sure doesn't look that way to me," said Takamasa. He knelt in front of Yato, next to his daughter, and lit on a small medical flashlight which he flashed towards Yato's eyes. The god flinched at the sudden and dazzling light headed directly towards his eyes, but didn't say anything. "Your eyes are unreactive to the light. And your skin feels dry… Can you hear me?"

"Y-Yes…" He heard him like he was thousand metres away from him, but he _did_ hear him.

"Okay, there is that at least. I need to take you in a room too; from what I can say, you are suffering of a severe case of under nutrition. When is the last time you ate? Do you think you can stand up?"

"…No," admitted Yato.

"It doesn't matter. I'm going to help you. Ready?"

Yato barely felt the hands against his ribcage, and the persons at his sides who were helping him advancing. He felt really weird, like he would collapse at any moment. After a moment, he remarked that he was lying on something soft, but maybe a little less soft than his futon at Kofuku's house.

Someone was next to him, and talking to someone else. It annoyed him to no end that he couldn't see who it was. "Wh-What…" rasped the weakened god.

A masculine face appeared in his field of view, and it took him a few seconds to label it as Hiyori's father. "Yato-san. This is going to sting a little, but I'm going to…"

The words' sound decreased and decreased until Yato couldn't hear them anymore. He had passed out.

* * *

Takamasa put the IV drop in Yato's forearm with a sigh as his daughter finished explaining him what was wrong with the god. Not in detail, but just what he needed to know about Yato's state. "So that's what happened… He must have been so worried for him. I hope they will both feel better soon."

"Mh-hm… I hope too. Yato should already feel better now…"

 _Physically speaking at least._

"Right." Using a more cheerful tone, Takamasa asked his daughter. "So, how do you know these two? The blue-haired one looks too old to be in your school. A new teacher maybe?"

Hiyori flushed a little bit. "N-No no no! He is not a teacher. They are more like… Er…" She hesitated a moment, because what could she say? _You see Father; the oldest one is someone I saved from being run over by a truck because he wanted to save a cat named Milord. When I was at the hospital, he told me that he was actually a god. And the young boy is his divine weapon, the soul of a little boy who has been murdered. No Father, I am not crazy._ "…Friends. Close friends," she concluded with a shy smile.

"You never spoke about them, though."

"Er… It's just that… " Hiyori's mother irrupted in the room, preventing the girl from answering. Hiyori let out a quiet sigh. Everything related to gods and shinki was complicated, to say the least, and she didn't want to elaborate further anyway. "Oh, that's where you were dear! I was searching you."

She offered a quick kiss to her husband's lips, and pressed against his side. He put his arm on her shoulders and brought her closer reassuringly. She gave a sad look at Yato while crossing her arms and leaning on her husband. "I wanted to tell him that Yukine-san's treatment was over, but it looks like I will have to wait that he wakes up. It's true that he looked weakened when I saw him. It's not a surprise he collapsed."

After not having eaten for so long, it wasn't surprising. Hiyori stepped closer from her mother and asked in a somewhat impatient and pressed tone. "Mother, how is Yukine-kun? He will be fine, right?"

Sayuri turned towards her daughter with a half-genuine smile. "He will be fine now, Hiyori. I lowered his fever, and dressed his injuries. It took some time, but it's sure that it will heal. I will have to see if everything heals nicely later, though." Her gaze became sadder as it laid on Yato. "Someone _tortured_ him, in more senses than just physical injuries. That poor boy has suffered. He has suffered a lot. And I'm not sure of how Yato-san will accept what he did…"

Hiyori gulped and looked away. She didn't want to know what kind of abject things Yukine had been submitted to there, and it made her stomach tie up in a knot just thinking about it. "I-Is there something wrong with Yukine-kun?"

"Well… there is more than one thing, actually."

Yato's was vaguely aware of the voices floating around him when he woke up, catching Hiyori's lasts words and her mother's hesitant answer. Opening his eyelids revealed itself to be something harder than what he thought, but he still managed to make out the silhouettes of Hiyori, her father and her mother. He let out a sigh. He wanted to go back to sleep, but he _had_ to see his kid. He had to know what was wrong. "You're back… Sayuri-san, wh-what's wrong with my kid?"

The attention was quickly drawn to him. He heard Hiyori say something, but was too tired to pay attention to it. One person had his attention right now; the one who held all the answers to his interrogations. With an ineffectively muffled whimper, he sat up from the bed. Hiyori sprang to his side as soon as she saw him move. "Yato, what are you doing? Don't move, you should rest more!"

Yato brushed her off. He didn't feel as tired as he was earlier despite the fact that moving his limbs felt like a colossal effort, and she seemed to understand that when she saw him sit up, because she withdrew her arms and took a step back from the bed. Maybe he was _finally_ feeling better after all these weeks. Physically speaking, anyway. He pointed a questioning look to Sayuri. "What's wrong with Yukine?"

"Yuki-"

"Is he alone right now?"

"Yes, he is, but-"

Yato stood up. "That won't do. I n-need to go with him. I can't leave him alone. Lead me to him please; we have to hurry before something else happens."

Sayuri opened her mouth, probably to reprimand him to have interrupted her twice in a row, but closed it when she saw the look in Yato's eyes. She sighed at his stubbornness. "Very well. Follow me."

After passing by some doors and white corridors, they finally arrived in front of a room on which Yukine's name was written on a small panel next to the door. Yato burst in the room faster than one could blink, surprising the older woman a little before she entered in her turn.

Yukine was asleep in a large bed, the back of his head resting on a big and soft-looking pillow, with his skin so pale that it was almost confounding with the whiteness of the sheets. The only thing colouring his face were the dark bags under his eyes and some red and ugly scars and a breathing mask, and Yato didn't like that. But despite everything, his mind eased a little at the sight of his shinki so peaceful. He felt like he could breathe again. Yukine wasn't injured, bleeding or crying anymore. He was just sleeping.

He was _here_.

"Yukine…" breathed Yato. Yato fell to his knees next to the bed and caressed his sleeping face. "Yukine, I'm here." He felt like his vocabulary had been reduced from thousands and thousands of words learnt through the centuries to this name he loved so much.

"That poor boy is severely sleep-deprived. Please make sure that he sleeps a lot when he comes back home. It's important for him," advised the female doctor as she looked at the sleeping boy. "And underfed too. Make sure he eats enough; we can almost see his bones."

"Mh-hm."

It was clear that Yato's attention was entirely directed to his shinki right now. Sayuri sighed, and brought a chair closer to the bed. "You should sit down, Yato-san. You're still tired. And for God's sake, don't look at him like that; he is going to live, and to be fine," she added with a laugh.

Yato looked at her sheepishly before nodding and sitting down. "Y-Yes. I'm sorry for my rudeness. And thanks for the chair."

"It's nothing…" Any trace of amusement left her face as she switched into, as her husband and her daughter called it, medical mode. She looked at her clipboard. "So, do you want to hear the diagnosis of your… er… son, was it?"

Yato smirked. So that's how Hiyori had presented him, huh. That was nice. But then again, it might be easier to present them as father and son than god and shinki. And it wasn't that far from the truth. "Yes… Not everything, because I know that he isn't alright, but just… is there something really important I have to know about his injuries? Is there something special? Like, a permanent injury or something?"

Yato really hoped that he had nothing. All the wounds he received were enough; bone-chilling fear seized him at the thought of Yukine having permanent injuries. As if Yato knew how to deal with the situation already. The doctor suddenly looked uneasy, only confirming Yato's fears. "Well…"

Yato's heart sank. "He does have something, doesn't he. What? What is it?"

Sayuri sighed, and stared at Yato with a solemn look. This was the only part of her work she definitely didn't like. "Well, to sum it up… Yukine-san suffered serious brain damage, and…"

Yato didn't dare breathe. "And? And what?"

"He has epilepsy now."

The word hung heavily in the air. _Epilepsy_. "He suffered several blows at the back of his head, causing him to develop symptomatic epilepsy. What do you know about epilepsy?"

The god stayed silent, his mouth was too dry to form words. "Epilepsy is a chronic disorder. In short, this will cause his brain not to work properly anymore and cause seizures. They can be more or less impressive, and can last more or less time, but I prescribed him some medicine, so hopefully he won't have these too much. A few ones during the year, maybe. His case is a mild one; some people have it a lot worse, trust me."

But none of her words comforted Yato. He didn't care that other people suffered worst cases. His kid _had_ epilepsy, whether it was severe or not, and knowing that he wasn't the only one to have this didn't alleviate or change or erase this fact. It hurt, to hear this. Nothing would ever be the same.

"Can it heal?"

"No… I'm afraid not, Yato-san."

She felt horrible when she saw the despair on Yato's face… "Sedatives were also found in his system, in large quantity. This must have caused him to stay in a sort of coma for a long moment, that's for sure. For, at the very least three days, from what I can say. I don't like to scare you, really, but you must know that's a miracle these drugs didn't kill him, Yato-san. He shouldn't have woken up, normally. Well, right now he is still in a coma, but he _will_ wake up."

Yato let his flat gaze return to Yukine, who was still sleeping innocently. It made him nauseous. Thinking that his kid, his baby had been drugged made him want to murder someone. Yukine didn't deserve that, for God's sake…

"I think you should keep a diary for his seizures. Keep it everywhere you go. Write down where you were, when the seizure happened, and the most details you can remember, as insignificant as they can seem. You have to take all the precautions you can. Make sure there isn't too much noise around the child, or too much light. And pay attention to his emotions too. Given what a traumatic event he just went through, he probably won't be talking much, so look at him often to see how he is feeling."

"If he looked bothered by something, or suddenly very sad or very happy, then he will very probably have a seizure. Pay attention, he mustn't be- Yato-san?"

"He has epilepsy," repeated Yato, unable to believe it.

She leant towards Yato a little. "It's not a fatality, you know. If you take care of him, and you make sure nothing happens, then he won't have a lot of seizures. He just has to take his medicine."

"…I'm not sure I'm up to the task," declared the god, squeezing Yukine's hand a little. "I can't protect him anymore. I took care of him, and look where it led him."

The female doctor stared at Yato before sighing. "Yato-san… Don't blame yourself for that. I don't know what happened exactly, but know that you can't protect him from _everything_ in the world. It's never a good thing for a parent to see their child hurt, true, but you can't help it. It's bound to happen. Plus, I know you didn't let what happened to him happen willingly. Just look at you; we can see how much it is hurting you too."

"Yukine-san wouldn't want to see you that defeated." She looked at the sleeping boy. "He will need your full support and attention from now on; without it he will never heal, that's for sure, and…" She stopped, unsure whether it was too soon or not for Yato to know. "I have something to show you."

She had been appalled by this too, the first time she saw it. And that's why she showed him, Yato deserved to know, and his reaction would have been a lot worse if he had discovered it by himself. She pulled Yukine's sleeves up, and wisely chose not to raise her eyes to see Yato's reaction. And given the horrified and loud sound had just made; she concluded that she did the good choice.

Yato couldn't believe it; no, more like he refused to believe it. It was like one of his worst nightmares coming true. Horrible self-harming scars littered Yukine's forearms, deep and big gashes starting from his wrist to _finally_ end a little before his elbow. Yato was as pale as a ghost, and felt like he was on the brink of losing consciousness. "What the… H-He didn't have that earlier…!"

"Yato-san… Please calm down," she said with a saddened voice. She pulled Yukine's sleeve back. "That's why I needed to show that to you. He came very close to do a big mistake, and we can only thank the gods that he didn't succeed given how many cuts he inflicted himself."

Yato slammed his forehead with his palm, feeling tears sting his eyes. "God…"

"Yato-san, please look at me."

Yato's initial shock diminished a little bit, and he looked up from the scars on Yukine's arms to meet Sayuri's solemn and serious eyes with his wide and scared ones. "Do you understand? This child _needs_ you, so please don't think about abandoning him. He wouldn't survive that. Without you, he is going to die."

 _But he will die with Father too._

Sayuri sighed, and decided to leave him some time alone to digest this information. Time which he really, _really_ needed. She added before quitting the room. "He is in a coma right now, but please call me if he wakes up. I need to run some tests on him."

He nodded and picked Yukine's hand, raising it until his shinki's slender fingers touched his own forehead. He had no intention of letting him go. He wanted him to wake up so much, despite what the doctor had said…

He was always forcing himself to be strong. Always strong, like a wall that nothing could ever break so that Yukine and Hiyori could always lean on him, and tell him all their secrets. He had to be strong for them; and especially for his kid. He had always secretly wanted to be the loving and understanding father none of them had never had. He had to be _invincible_. But now… Holding Yukine's limp hand, he wept. "I'm sorry for everything, Yukine."

* * *

"…How is Yukine-kun?"

"Still comatose. He still hasn't woken up since… he arrived there," answered Yato, yawning at the half of his second sentence.

Hiyori was seriously worried about her boys now. Her mother had told her that Yukine had not woken up since he arrived there, and Yato had stubbornly refused to leave his side, no matter what what being said to him, continuing to murmur some comforting words that Yukine couldn't hear and stare at his kid with these dull and sad eyes that Hiyori hated to see. She had never seen him like that, _never_.

Too worried about his state, she had asked some help from Kofuku and Daikoku and all the others, but his pained expression never disappeared or wavered at their words. It was worrying; she was now thinking that the only person capable to make him feel better was Yukine. He _had_ to wake up; Yato couldn't lose him twice, and neither would the others.

She remembered a book she had read in her parents' bookcase about coma a few months ago. She knew that the probability that he never woke up was _not_ non-existent; far from it, actually. Shinki or not, he still possessed a human body, and all the risks with it. She knew that he could always die, at any moment, and that he longer he stayed unconscious, the less chances he had to wake up. Her mother had told her that he would wake up, but she remembered cases where the patient never did, despite what the doctor had said.

But she didn't need to remind that to anyone. They all already knew.

She wiped her eyes and entered the room; no need to focus on the worst case scenario anyway. It wouldn't help anyone. Nothing had changed from yesterday. Sat on a chair was still Yato, looking at the sleeping boy with a melancholic look. "Yato…"

The god didn't even answer, too absorbed by the boy next to him. "Yato? Hey, Yato. _Yato!_ "

Startled, he turned his head towards her. "Hiyori? How long have you been there?"

She let out a breath. "Yato, listen to me. You must leave this room; it's not healthy for you to keep worrying about him all the time. When is the last time you even slept? Or _ate_? It has been a week! Let Daikoku and Kofuku take care of him a little, and please _leave this room._ "

He tightened his grip on the hand. "I can't leave him, Hiyori."

"But-"

"She is right, Yato-chan," said the goddess of poverty, appearing with her shinki in the room. "You should get Yukki out of your head a little."

A feeling of betrayal struck him; even _she_ was against him. Daikoku crossed his arms, looking like he was judging Yato of something bad he had done. "You're watched over the kid for a good moment now. But you need to leave; even if it's just for five minutes. I'm sure you can't even tell me what's the weather like today, or what day today is. You haven't left that room since you first entered it."

"But Daikoku-"

A moan from Yukine stopped their bickering immediately. Turning towards the monitoring screens, Hiyori beamed. She supposed she was the only one who understood what they meant. "Wh-What is going on?!"

"Look at these screens; he is waking up!"

Fuzzy faces appeared in front of Yukine's eyes. He couldn't see anything clearly, and could only hear parts of the words said to him. "Gl… see… wake, Yukine…"

"How…ling, Y…kki?"

"He looks stable," mumbled Hiyori, entirely focused on the small monitor screens. "His brain is functioning normally, and his heart too."

Yukine blinked, his vision getting clearer and clearer after each blinking. The dark stain above him turned into a pale person with dull blue eyes who was staring straight at him. "I'm glad…awake."

"Yato…" breathed Yukine, his tiny voice barely audible because of the breathing mask on his face. But he could hear clearly now.

"We were so worried about you, Yukine-kun. You stayed in the coma for a long moment."

He didn't pay a lot of attention to the girl; he was entirely focused on Yato. His bony fingers reached his breathing mask, and he started to take it off. "You can't do that! Yukine, you have to keep the mask on. Calm down a little bit; don't precipitate things."

Yukine looked at the god confusedly, trying to make his sluggish brain understand the orders being said to him. After a second, he let his fingers fall back on the bed and felt someone ruffle his hair tenderly. "Good."

"Am I at… the hospital?"

Hiyori caressed his hair lovingly. "Mh-hm. We found in the forest and we brought you here. My mother has been taking care of you ever since. How did you arrive here anyway?"

"I…escaped…"

"We missed you, Yukki…! We thought that you would never wake up again!"

Yukine continued to stare blankly at all their faces, receiving either a ruffle on his hair or a teary smile. But unexpectedly, when his gaze stopped on Yato, something just clicked and reactivated in his head, and he had the sudden need to get away from him. Right now. Unable to move despite all his efforts, he suddenly started to weep silently, and everybody heard his silent words.

Yato felt like he had been slapped in the face.

"Please don't hurt me again…"

* * *

Fujisaki and another student laughed about something they had just said before stopping at Fujisaki's house's doorstep. "C'mon, man… You shouldn't be saying that of her, seriously. I'll see you tomorrow, Fujisaki, okay?"

He waved his hand in goodbye until he saw his friend cross the street and disappear in the crowd of pedestrians coming home. Annoying. After not going to school during tens whole days, people were understandably worried about him, and this student whose name he didn't even _remember_ had insisted to accompany him home to verify it was fine. He had tolerated it this time, but it wouldn't happen twice. He cursed this body condemning him to go to school and waste his time by studying things he already knew.

Fujisaki entered in his house, almost throwing his heavy school bag on the ground. Who had had the crazy idea of giving so many classes in a single day, anyway? "I'm back, Dad."

"…"

"Dad, you're here?"

No answer. He must have left for work again.

Once arriving in his room, a familiar shinki welcomed him with a graceful bow and a happy smile. "Welcome back Father. How was school today?"

"Terrible, as usual. I swear, I'm seriously considering murder that math teacher of mine. She is so annoying." He collapsed on his chair tiredly. "So, Mizuchi? How did that little mission go?"

"The mission?" he nodded, and invited her to sit on his lap by patting it. She blushed faintly; she liked when he was being nice like that with her. "Iki Hiyori's mother took care of Yukine. She said that he had been in a coma, and he woke up just a moment ago. And… she said that he had epilepsy, too."

"Really?! Damn… Yaboku won't be happy with me. I didn't think we caused him brain damage, though."

"And when he saw Yato, he started to cry, and asked him not to hurt him anymore."

He stopped caressing his shinki's brown hair a second. "That's probably us. Your illusions impacted him more than I thought it would if he burst into tears like that. Hmm…"

"Father?"

He grinned devilishly, a new scheme already forming himself in his head. "My poor Mizuchi. You must have missed Yaboku a lot, didn't you? But don't worry anymore, he will come back. He is already wavering; it's the moment to bring him on his knees and give him the final blow by bringing a certain person in the hospital."

"He will be back this evening."

* * *

Yato immediately released his kid's hand after these words and left the room, his head so low that his eyes were hidden by his hair. "Yato wait!" said Hiyori, going after him.

Yukine hadn't calmed down, not even a little. Fearing that all his stress would cause him to have a panic attack, Daikoku came closer from him and put his hand on his shoulder. "Yukine, Yato isn't here anymore. Calm down, I promise you I… I won't let him hurt you anymore." It felt so strange, to say this. Yato would never do anything to him; plus, he wasn't even _here_. But the best course of action right now was to pretend to be on Yukine's side, to calm him down and to speak with him to know what he thought Yato had done. "I need you to calm down, okay? You have to breathe more slowly."

"I c-can't…"

"Of course you can. You're courageous, and I know you can do it. Try, at least. I promise it will help you feel better."

He had almost added _Daigo_ at the end of his sentence.

Kofuku noticed with relief that he had indeed started to calm down. The lines of the machine linked to his heart became periodic again and more rhythmic, and wavered less violently. Daikoku was doing his best to make him breathe properly by giving him a breathing pattern to mime. And it worked; he was calm once again a dozen of minutes later.

"You did great Yukki," complimented Kofuku while slowly ruffling his golden hair. Feeling like he was able to breathe more easily now, he took off the mask. Daikoku opened his mouth to protest, but Yukine spoke first. "Will Yato come back h-here?"

"You don't want to see him?" Kofuku knew the answer, but he needed to talk to them.

Yukine shook his head, but fortunately didn't start crying again. Faint anger appeared in his dark eyes. "I don't want to see him ever again."

They were glad that Yato had left the room earlier. Hearing that would have hurt him beyond words. "But… What did he do to you? You know that Yato-chan loves you, right Yukki? He would never hurt you. You must be mistaken…"

"Are you… Do you think I'm lying, Kofuku-san?! I _saw_ him! He had this iron bar, a-and he wouldn't stop hitting me with it, and… I b-b-begged him to stop, and t-that it _hurt_ , but he didn't want to s-stop and…"

Kofuku sat on the bed to hug him, rubbing small circles on his back with a hand and caressing the back of his head with the other. He buried his face in the crook of the goddess' neck and sobbed. Daikoku frowned at him. "Yukine. I know it's hard, but I need you to focus, okay? Can you do that for me?"

"Y-Yes…"

"Good. Okay, I need you to try to remember the most details you can about Yato. Where you were when he assaulted you… His face, you could see it right? What did he look like?"

"He…" Yukine's tears were replaced by a puzzled look. Now that he thought about it… That person hadn't had these piercing and shining blue eyes. He was a little bit more fat, and… He didn't have that tender voice whenever he talked to him. Was it really Yato? Why had he mistaken that person for his god.

"I…I'm not sure."

"It wasn't Yato, right? Do you know who it was? Yato and I will take care of him, so don't be scared. He won't hurt you ever again like he did."

Then it hit him. Who had hit him with that bar until he lost consciousness. A painful yell tore through the room as he started to shake and thrash around violently. "I-It was… Oh God, oh _god_ -"

" _Shit_. He's having a seizure; Kofuku, hold him!"

"I-I'm trying…!"

"Sayuri-san, come here! Yukine is-"

The female doctor appeared with a handful of nurses before he even had time to finish his sentence. The nurses had grabbed Yukine's limbs, trying to immobilize him the best he could while he was trashing against their hold. "Daikoku-san, Kofuku-san, I need you to move aside. I need to sedate him to stop his seiz-"

" _No!_ " Yukine gripped tightly Kofuku's cream-colored pullover when he felt her going away. Abandoning him. "N-NO! D-Don't leave me alone, Kofuku-san! Y-You can't leave me with him again; h-he'll kill me! He will _kill_ me! Daikoku-san, help m-"

The shinki was glad that Yukine's cry of help had been cut short like that. As soon as the medicine Hiyori's mother gave him started to take effect, he fell back on the bed completely limp, held by the nurses. And only now Daikoku and Kofuku noticed the redness of his face. "He is clearly delirious…" muttered the female doctor, looking deep in thoughts. "I don't want to be rude, but could you please get out of the room? I need to lower his fever; I don't understand how it could have raised so quickly."

Her voice made Daikoku come to his senses. "O-Of course." Taking his goddess' hand, he led her out of the room, and took her in his arms when he saw she was in tears. "Hey Kofuku; the kid is going to be alright. I know it must have been scary, but try to calm down a little bit, 'kay?"

"How can he have such p-painful and horrible memories, Daikoku? _How?_ How c-can someone beat a child as a-adorable as Y-Yukki with an _iron bar_?! Th-That's just…" sobbed the goddess.

He held her closer. "I don't know Kofuku. But maybe… I may have a theory, but I need to talk with Yato to confirm it first. I'll see when he comes back. And I hope I'm not right… I really, really hope so."

"Do you think he is having flashbacks of when he was with Yato-chan's father?"

"I'm not sure. It could be possible. Come on, stop crying." Kofuku sobbed once again despite his words, and pressed her teary face in Daikoku's pale-pink shirt. He sighed and reassured her like she was his child. Which sometimes, if he was being honest, felt like it was the truth.

* * *

Yato had stormed off the room so quickly that he hadn't even noticed that he had bumped into someone. A rather large person. "Hey, Yato-san!" called Takamasa.

Yato raised his head, and saw Hiyori's father looking at him with concern. "Are you all right?"

He didn't really know him, but he wasn't in the mood of talking with anyone right now. He tried to excuse himself as politely as he could, but Takamasa grabbed his hand before he could leave. "Wait please, Yato-san. There is someone who wants to visit Yukine-san. As his father, do you accept him to go? If you don't want to, I can call the security to take him home. However, he was very persistent to see him."

Yato looked at him with a slight frown. Bishamon didn't need an authorization to go there, and neither did Kazuma. "Who is it?"

"Well actually… It's a man, and he says that _he_ is Yukine-san's father too. And he also asked me to give you a message…"

Yato froze, and looked warily at the small paper he was being given. He took it from Takamasa's hand, opened it, and stopped breathing entirely.

 **You should come home now, Yaboku. If you don't want him to come back in your kid's life.**

Yato couldn't bear it anymore. He ran out of the hospital, ignoring Hiyori's calls behind him and Takamasa's questions. He felt so horrible that he wanted to cry: so that was Fujisaki's new idea, huh? Indeed, making Yukine's father come back in his life was an excellent way of breaking him more. Of breaking the both of them. Where did he get all those sick ideas was beyond Yato, really.

A few tears escaped his eyes without his consent; it wasn't _fair_. Fujisaki had named Yukine; that meant he saw what had happened in his human life. He saw that it was his father who had killed him, by burying him alive when he was just fourteen years old. He saw that, and still had contacted him again. He wanted to kill him right now so that he never touched any hair of his kid's head again. He wanted murder him… He would beat him up, cut his throat when he wouldn't be able to fight back anymore, gut him alive and then-

He had not even noticed Hiyori had gone after him until someone caught his wrist. The girl was out of breath when she finally caught up with the god. "I-I asked you to wait, Yato. Didn't you hear me?"

Yato didn't even turn towards her, and thrust his shaking hands in his pocket, with the note. Another note spelling disaster. He tried to push his murderous thoughts aside, but a trace of the anger he was feeling was still palpable in his voice. "What's wrong, Hiyori?"

"Yato don't play dumb with me! You know what's wrong."

"…"

She let out a breath and nibbled her lower lip. "Yato… Yukine-kun was in a state of shock; he didn't think what he said to you. You weren't even here when he was captured; he knows it wasn't you."

"Then why did he say that?" asked flatly the god. "You think he was just mistaken? Remember his eyes; he was completely traumatized by my face, Hiyori. Such horror couldn't happen by chance: I definitely did something to make him react like that."

The high-school student was seriously starting to lose patience at his stubbornness. "What could you have done to him if _you weren't here_?!"

"Not being here to save him is enough; I think."

Hiyori embraced Yato from behind. "Yato… H-He _loves_ you. He didn't think what he said; you should maybe go back to the hospital and talk to him, don't you think? You both need to set the records straight on what he thinks about you. I think you are mistaken."

Yato stayed silent, and Hiyori released him after a moment. It was a mistake she would greatly regret later. "He loves you." _And so do I._ "I will let you alone a moment. Please think about what I said, okay? I'm going back to the hospital; I will see you there."

Having already lost her body when she was at the hospital, she hopped on an electrical pole effortlessly and headed towards it, her purple tail moving with each leap. Yato stared at her back slowly disappearing in the black and moonless night: he hadn't even realized night had fallen.

A chilling wind blew, and the god buried his reddened nose in his tattered scarf. His eyes were still stinging him and a lump was preventing him from swallowing properly, but he supposed it didn't matter much in the end. These small pains were nothing compared to what would come next.

One thing was for sure: Yukine's father couldn't come back in his life. That was inacceptable. And Yato was going to do what needed to be done to protect his kid.

He teleported himself in front of that house he loathed more than anything on earth, trying not to think about anything. It was for the best; no matter how much he loved his kid, he would be better without him. As Sayuri had said; parents must protect their children, and Yato was ready to do literally _everything_ to protect Yukine. Everything to protect this kid from harm and make him happy. A magatsukami would stay a magatsukami, after all. He couldn't help Yukine like he wanted to; so he should better let Daikoku and Kofuku and Hiyori take care of this wounded and sad kid, and disappear of his life. It was his way to help him.

They would probably all be furious at him when they would learn that he wouldn't be coming back, and especially Hiyori, after she had told him that she would wait for him at the hospital to talk with his kid… Daikoku and Kofuku would surely be worried, and Bishamon too probably. Yukine was probably too broken to care about that.

He let out a frosted sigh which dissipated in the night. There weren't any other possibilities, were there? _It's for Yukine_ , he repeated himself. _It's for him_.

He knocked at the door with his frozen fingers; waiting that person he hated so much to open him.

"Yaboku! You came back!"


	6. Reunion

Delight wasn't a word strong enough to describe Fujisaki's expression when he saw Yato on his doorstep. "Yaboku, you came back!"

Yato stayed silent a moment, unmoving. "Yes, Father."

He clapped his hands gleefully. His initial plan had worked, in the end. "I can't believe you really came back! So you're going to kill for me again, Yaboku?" he asked joyously.

"Yes Father. I promise not to leave again. And also… I'm sorry to have threatened you last time. I hope you will forgive me." These words were painful to say, almost as painful as a physical wound.

"It's fine. You came back after all, Yaboku."

Nora, a little farther in the room, rushed towards him the second she saw him to offer him a tight hug. He flinched a little bit at her strength, but did not reciprocate the hug. He was still angry at her for the illusion she made of Yukine, but she didn't seem to have noticed it. Or maybe she had forgotten what he had told her, who knows.

Her happy face almost made him grimace in disgust. "I'm so glad that you have come back, Yato! You will stay, right? We will be a true family again now."

He was thinking about something else entirely right now, only being here in presence. Right now, he was only thinking about Yukine… He wondered how his kid was right now. He nodded absently. "That's great, Yaboku. I'm glad you finally learnt your lesson. Maybe you're finally maturing enough to understand that I only want the best for you as a father. They grow up so fast, I swear…"

He wiped a false tear in a theatrical way before continuing. "You're such a good boy, Yaboku. So obedient. As a reward, I'm going to show you a little something. You'll see; you're going to like it. Come with me."

Nora let go of him and looked at the two most important persons in her life disappear in a darker room. She has a strong feeling that maybe things would finally go back the way they were before; before Sakura and Yukine and that stupid human girl. A unified and loving family like they had always been.

"So, Yaboku… It has been a while since we last talked, haven't we? Tell me, what made you come back? Usually I need to come and get you," asked conversationally Fujisaki.

"…"

Fujisaki glanced at him. "What's with that face? You don't want to speak to Daddy? How cruel. But well, I suppose it doesn't matter, in the end. Maybe I should let you more time."

"Father. Do you think you could release Yukine of his name?"

He stopped. "His name? Well, if you want. It could be your recompense for coming back after all. Well anyway, we're here."

Fujisaki opened a grey and thick-looking door, making the liquid nitrogen floating above the floor dissipate a little. The interior of the room looked like it was industrial, grey and dark even after Fujisaki lit on the neon lights on the ceiling. "This is what I wanted to show you. I have to thank my chemistry teacher for the tip of using nitrogen to cool the room down; wouldn't have thought of it, that's for sure. Hey, it may be the only thing I learnt there. More importantly, look at _them_. Incredible, huh? Your kid did everything. Hey, I'll maybe stock your ears there too so that they don't decay."

Yato stayed petrified at the sight in front of him. There, piled up on the floor, displayed on all the cupboard's shelves, collected in plastic bags, were a least _hundreds_ of severed hands. Big hands, wrinkled hands, dark hands, adult hands, smaller hands, slightly bruised hands, and other ones which could have belonged to none other than small children, or even babies.

Yato didn't even think about counting them.

"He did a good work, huh? Well, it's nothing compared to what you did, but I still think it's good. For a first time, anyway. And ears are a lot easier to cut than hands, so we have to give him credit. It's just cartilage. Don't you agree?"

Yato couldn't move. He wanted to do something, but his mouth wasn't working properly anymore, and a shiver of horror ran down his spine. Fujisaki had made Yukine _murder_ people?

"So Yaboku? What do you think of his work? Okay, the cuts aren't all clean, but it's still pretty good, don't you think? Speak up, I'm listening."

Yato's hands balled into fists. His father was a psychopath, to have done that. He was _insane_. "Y-Yukine…"

"Huh-huh, not good Yaboku. It's not Yukine: it's _Hikaru_. His new name. There is no Yukine here." Yato clenched his fists even tighter, his hair hiding his furious eyes, but he stayed silent at Father's provocations for now; he didn't know how long he would support it. "Nah, I'm just joking. Relax. He had a main… activity here, I'd say. I had to make him kill a lot of people because _someone_ _I won't name_ didn't want to. Yeah, that was what he did the most, here. Kill. And boy, he _did_ kill. He is talented."

He ventured in the cold room, and grabbed a severed hand on a shelf with a little smile, without any trace of disgust. "See this? It's a goddess' hand. She was pretty, really. Too bad I don't really remember her name, though." He put it down, took another one, and started to play with it.

"This one is from an old woman. I think it is the first person he killed, if not she is among the first ones. I chose an old person because they wouldn't be able to fight the kid back. Genius, huh? He was really bad at it at first. Always scared. I asked Mizuchi to make an illusion of you so that he wouldn't be scared, but it didn't work. He kept crying that he didn't want to kill and that he would blight you and stuff, but it was nothing a bit of discipline couldn't change. After all, you know what they say. Best life lessons are learnt through pain."

"This one… Ironically, this one is from a murderer too. Like Yu- _Hikaru_ , my bad. I think it was funny that a murderer killed another murderer, don't you? He was going to be executed anyway." Yato didn't answer. Fujisaki laughed a little and pursued. "And these ones here belonged to a family. Yeah, an _adorable_ little family of four. Two parents with their laughing little girls. _Disgusting_. They annoyed me, so I asked him to murder them. If you had seen the little girl's face when he murdered her parents in front of her…"

He laughed a little more. "And these ones are from parents and their new-born baby. It was-"

"I understood, Father! Stop it, please," interrupted Yato, effectively stopping Fujisaki in his presentation.

"Hey, don't cut your old man while he is talking. It's impolite." Yato apologized in a silent voice, making Fujisaki sigh in frustration. "I don't know why you're acting all sentient like this, Yaboku. Your Yukine is just a random kid. He could have been one of the kids you killed when you were little. No need to get all worked up."

"I'm sorry to have said that. I… I-I think I am feeling a little bit sick. I… didn't sleep well," he lied.

"Oh really? Are you alright, Yaboku?" asked Fujisaki with worry. "You can rest if you aren't feeling well, you know."

"No, it's fine… It will pass." _You never cared about me, Father. Don't act like you are going to care now. It's this_ house _which sickens me. This house, and all the people living here._

Fujisaki frowned a little more before continued. "If you say so. Anyway, he obeyed me often because he didn't want me to hurt you, or Hiyori-chan or the others. We had a deal, see: he obeyed, and I left you alone. He would often comply, but not always. Something about disgracing you and dishonouring the guidepost's role you had given him. He had been very loyal to you. You're lucky to have him."

"Since I couldn't always be here to make sure the job was done, I asked him to bring me the hands of the people he murdered. But… When he didn't want to obey, or didn't murder the person like I asked him to, he was punished. In different ways, depending on him and his attitude. You know what it is like, Yaboku."

Father closed the door, and Yato found himself almost thanking him that the hands weren't in his field of view anymore. He let out a breath. "Wouldn't want the hands to rot, so we'd better close the room… So, how is he, anyway? Is he feeling better?"

"…What?"

"I asked you how he was. Your kid. Has he recovered? Or not?"

Instead of ' _You bastard, I'm going to murder you. I'm going to beat you up and take your eyes off and break all your bones to repay every ounce of pain you inflicted my kid. You played with his biggest fears, and even gave him new traumas just for your sick pleasure and egoism. Honestly, how do you think he is feeling right now? He tried to kill himself, what do you think it means? Are you proud of yourself or do you need more?!'_ he said, "I couldn't say. I didn't stay with him very long; he was comatose."

"That's too bad then. You know, I… I know it's unusual, but I have to apologize," laughed awkwardly Fujisaki while scratching his hair in a false air of regret.

 _Apologize? You? Please, like you would ever feel sorry about something. You don't regret_ anything _you have done him. If you're going to act like the disgusting hypocrite you are, then do it to someone else. He doesn't need your false compassion._ "I might have been too harsh on him sometimes. It's true that he is young. Fourteen, was it? But… You know, it was to make you come back. I'm sorry if I went overboard, or if the kid is… broken. I just wanted you to come back. You know that, right?"

"…Yes," Yato said, with a barely audible voice.

"I did all this because Mizuchi and I missed you. You know that, right, Yaboku?"

This time, Yato didn't answer. If he opened his mouth, he wouldn't be able to lie again. Father felt his son's malaise, and his _regret_ disappeared in an instant to let place to a casual tone. They might as well be talking about the weather. "By the way, I saw how he died when he was human. The poor kid had had a hard life. He died quite young. Tell me, Yaboku, why didn't you tell him how he died? Mizuchi knows."

Yato turned towards his creator, totally dismayed. "O-Of course not. He would die if I did." Yato's dull eyes widened. "Don't tell me y-you did… Father, did you tell him _something_ about his previous life?!"

Father snorted at his creation's panicked expression. "Wow, wow, relax Yaboku! I haven't told him _that much_. Just that his father often beat him up and that nobody loved him. Which is true. Also that no one came to save him when he was human. But…" He put a finger on his chin pensively. "Sometimes he would wake me up at night with his nightmares. He kept crying and mumbling stuff like he didn't want to be hurt anymore, and that we let him out of a box. I don't know if he was mentioning the box he died in or the one I put him in when he wasn't being obedient."

"You… trapped him in a box…?" mumbled Yato, barely able to believe Fujisaki's sadism. If he had really seen his life, then he was crazy to have done that. Yato almost asked him if he wanted Yukine to break and turn into an Ayakashi, but he supposed he already knew the answer.

"Yeah. It was one of the ways I punished him when he was disobedient. But it wasn't too bad or disproportionate. It depended on what he had done earlier. You should thank me, really. He will be more docile now."

Yato didn't even know what to say to that.

"I think he is remembering his previous life. Yeah, it's more probable. He couldn't remember clearly what he was crying about when he woke up. But I'm not absolutely sure of it. You'll have to ask him which one it is, I guess."

"I can't ask him that…" muttered the god. Fujisaki raised an eyebrow at Yato's expression. "Well, you look bothered by all this. More than I thought you'd be. You should rest a little; you must be tired, and it's late. How about murdering people after you've slept a little, huh? Going back to your routine and spending some time with Mizuchi will do you some good, I'm sure. There is nothing that family can't heal. C'mon, go rest a little."

* * *

"I'm glad we're together. I missed you a lot, Yato," said Nora while settling in the bed with Yato. "Father bought a big bed, just for us."

"Mh-hm," answered Yato coldly. He turned so that his back was facing her.

Nora sighed at his brother's coldness, but shrugged and laid on her side to sleep. Yato was just tired; he would be better tomorrow, after a good night of sleep at home. She wished him good night before falling asleep too.

All of a sudden, Yato's eyes shot open and he sat up as he woke up from his deranged sleep, plagued by his broken kid and these horrible hands _everywhere_. He tried to calm his breathing down, passed a hand in his sweaty hair and looked at the clock on the wall.

3:00 AM.

He just couldn't calm himself down and go back to sleep. Impossible, the hands were _everywhere_. He felt sick when he thought that if he was having such a nightmare, then Yukine's must be at least a thousand times worse.

He felt like the worse person on Earth.

He looked at Nora, his eyes narrowing when he saw her stir and wake up. As if he needed her to wake up and comfort him. He _hated_ her. "Mmh, Yato? What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?"

"Nora, get away from me."

The girl frowned. "That wasn't very nice, Yat-"

"Nora, _shut_ _up_."

She felt her heartbeat accelerate and little tears appear in her eyes as she put her hand to her chest. She was truly wounded: Yato had never talked to her that way before. He sat up, and positioned himself the farthest he could from the nora on the bed. Something she didn't fail to notice. "Yato-"

"It's good that we are only us two. I have a few things to say to you, see."

"First of all, know that I don't care if you report that to Father. Do whatever you want. I'm going to do the mission Father give us with you only because I have to. I'm here not because I miss you, or because I missed Father, but because I need to come back to protect the kid I truly love before you make him suffer other atrocities."

"Don't believe I have forgotten what you did last time. You disgusted me by doing this, and you _still_ disgust me. You had no rights to do that. And if that can answer your eternal question, I am _never_ going to love you more than I love Yukine, no matter what you try to do now. Mark my words, Nora: _never_ hurt him again. Yukine is nice and innocent and pure; he is nothing like you. It's too late for you to try to change yourself and win my affection, because you lost it entirely the day you created this illusion."

Yato stared at her shocked face. Her lip was trembling a little, like she was going to cry, but he couldn't feel any sympathy for her. Strange, after everything they had lived together. She had wholly disgusted him, playing with his feelings and his despair like that when she had no right to do so. She gulped, and wiped hastily her eyes as her sadness let place to anger. "You're not thinking what you're saying to me, Yato. If Father hears you saying this, you will be severely punished."

"Really? Well, I don't care. I don't have anything more to say to you. I don't think I can go back to sleep; I'm going out a little. Don't follow me," muttered Yato while standing up.

Once he was in front of the door, he added. "And please feel free to tell Father what I have just told you, really. I don't care to be beaten up anymore. Better me than Yukine anyway."

Little did they know that Fujisaki had heard their conversation.

* * *

"Daikoku-san… Where is Yato?"

Each day. Each day Yukine would repeat this, hoping that someone – anyone – would bring his god back. He needed to say him that he was sorry, that it wasn't him he was scared of, and a lot of other things.

Daikoku had stopped trying to contact Yato by now. It had been more than a week that he hadn't given any sign of life; he didn't even know where he was, or if he was still alive. Even Hiyori didn't manage to find him. They were all worried sick. Disappearing without saying anything to anyone was a frequent occurrence with the god, but the conditions this time were different. They couldn't explain it properly, but they all knew that Yato would never be coming back if they didn't go search him themselves.

And that would break Yukine.

Daikoku collapsed on a chair, and sighed. Each time, he would repeat the same thing without believing it anymore. "I don't know. But I promise we will find him soon."

"You're lying… You're lying," repeated Yukine, his brows furrowed. "You keep saying that, but you aren't searching him. I-I will search him; and I will find him."

The shinki frowned when he saw Yukine sit up. "I don't think so, Yukine. Your body hasn't healed yet of his wounds, and moving around will only reopen them. You should rest: I'm telling you we will find him soon, so-"

"But I want to see him now! I need to apologize to him because h-he left because of me. H-He left like her…" Yukine's eyes glassed over.

 _Like who?_

"I need to find him, Daikoku-san," muttered the shinki before teleporting.

"Wha- Yukine!"

* * *

An hour turned into a day which turned into a week, each one resembling the one before. Kill, kill, and kill again. He was staining his hands more and more as the days passed, almost to the point where they were unsalvageable. Nora hadn't said a word to him since that night, still shocked by the coldness of that person that she considered like a brother. She couldn't believe he had really said that to her.

That she was disgusting.

That he didn't love her.

That he preferred Yukine to her.

Some days, she would just lock herself in her room and cry because she felt alone. Alone in that big house. Her living place was always silent, and it was making her incredibly sad: it shouldn't be; her family was finally reunited. It should be like before… They should all be sharing meals together, laughing and happy to finally have each other back because they all _loved each other_. They loved each other, right?

Fujisaki approached the silent god. "Yaboku, could we talk a moment?"

Yato nodded weakly, and a second later the strength of his father's punch sent him crashing to the ground. He later found out that Fujisaki had heard their conversation a few days ago, which he had absolutely not appreciated.

He had been given a speech filled with nothing but hypocrisy, really. That Nora was his sister – as if she could still claim to be her sister with everything she did – and that he shouldn't treat her or speak to her like he did before. That her name was _Hiiro_ and not Nora, and blah _blah_ _blah_. He had tuned him out quickly. When it was finally over, he had been forced to apologize to her and to Father, and that was it. They had not discussed the issue again.

But the pain had dulled now. He had stopped bleeding, and his scars on his face were barely visible anymore. After that, he kept a low profile in front of them. And as much as Fujisaki didn't care about his tool to kill, he saw that something was wrong. And so did Nora. Yato wasn't smiling anymore, talked only when something was asked to him, barely ate, and barely slept. He felt like he was even barely living.

When he had the occasion to do so, Yato often sat next to a window, or anywhere else from where he could see the sky, or outside. Seeing the bright skies illuminating the dark small and suffocating house a little bit reminded him of his kid. When after the heavens, he wanted to see the sky. His kid. Sometimes, when he was alone, he would murmur something to the skies, hoping they would transmit his message.

"I'm sorry, everyone. Please forgive me."

He didn't know what he wouldn't have given to go back to his true family. To rejoin Kofuku, his dearest friend, always smiling and laughing, and trying her hardest to make everybody feel better. To rejoin Daikoku, who sure looked scarier and meaner than his goddess, but who possessed a heart as gentle as hers. He let out a little amused laugh when he realized that he even missed Bishamon, that crazy and psycho bitch who he had been so desperate to avoid not too long ago and had tried to kill him and Yukine. _That_ was something.

To see Hiyori, the girl he loved, to see her gentle smile and hear her shy laughs. To take her hand, and never make the mistake of letting it go again. He missed her, really. He wondered if Hiyori had forgotten about him, like the time he went in Yomi. Yukine had told him that she had almost forgotten about them. He desperately didn't want her to, but maybe that was for the best that she forgot him. Her innocence would be preserved from his disastrous aura too.

And Yukine… He didn't even know what to think. He would have wanted to know why he had said that; Yukine knew that Yato wouldn't ever hurt him. How could he have doubted it? Maybe if he came back and talked to his kid, then he could learn why he had said that and-

He shook his head forcefully. He _couldn't_ see them again. He had stopped thinking about that long ago. Plus, he had taken all the precaution he needed to when he came back to Father so that they wouldn't run into each other. Hiyori's mysterious way to find him each time was quite bothering, but he made sure to move around enough so that she couldn't localize him. And besides her, no one else could track him.

* * *

Daikoku had been right; he was not ready at all to leave his hospital bed, despite more than a whole week of rest and medication. His body was still too weak. As soon as he arrived in front of Hiyori's high-school, he winced and fell to his knees. His eyes stung, and it wasn't only because of the physical pain. He forced himself not to focus on this, and struggled to get himself back to his feet.

He would find Yato, whether the others wanted it or not. Yato would come back today.

"Y-Yukine-kun?!"

Hiyori ran to his side and helped him stand by sliding an arm around his shoulders. "Yukine-kun, why aren't you at the hospital?! What are you doing here?! It's late!"

"I-I have to find Yato…" answered Yukine between two wheezes. "He must be around here. I-I will help you search h-him."

"Yukine-kun…" She eyed him as he tried to get back his breathing under control, heavily hesitating if she should let him or not. On the one hand, she knew she couldn't let him outside like that. Not only it was already night, but he was far from healed, and her mother had insisted that he had to rest. Plus, if they didn't find him quickly, Yukine could get frustrated or sad by it, and these kinds of strong emotions could always trigger a seizure.

But on the other hand, she completely understood and shared his worry about the god, and Yukine himself probably needed to have a few words with him. He wouldn't get better without seeing Yato again. And… She had to admit it was partially her fault too. If she had found him earlier…

Taking her schoolbag off her shoulders, she took off her vest and her favourite pink scarf. "I cannot let out be outside dressed like that. Put that on first, and then we're going to search for him a little. But we're not going to stay too long outside, and I will bring you back to the hospital if I think you need to be."

"Are you sure? H-Hiyori, you're going to be cold…"

"I'll be fine. I'm older than you, little boy; I can handle cold better." She pinched the tip of his nose playfully before helping him put on her clothes. A small blush crept up the shinki's cheeks; he supposed she was the only one who could call him small or little without angering him.

Always having this ability to make him feel better… She was incredible, and he loved her for that. "Thank you, Hiyori."

"You're welcome. Let's hurry, though. Do you think you can walk on your own, or do you want me to help you?"

"Sorry… I-I don't think I can-"

The girl merely smiled a little sadly before steadying him at her sides. "It's alright; I suppose I shouldn't have asked in the first place. Do you have any idea of where you want to start searching?"

"There are flats and house around here, aren't there? Maybe w-we should begin by search around them. That i-idiot is probably at his father's home."

She nodded, and after sending a quick message to Kofuku and Daikoku, they started to search together. She first took a slow step forwards to see if Yukine was following; he took half a second to notice that she had moved, and moved in his turn. The girl frowned, thinking that he maybe he wasn't ready yet. "Sorry about that… I'm fine, Hiyori. Let's go."

After a moment in the silence, the duo started to search around for the god. "What were you doing here, Hiyori? Were you searching for Yato too?"

"Hm? Oh, yes I was. I asked my parents if I could go out a little."

"…"

Determination shone in her lavender eyes. "I can't go home now anyway. I promised I would help you find Yato."

The shinki snuggled a little bit closer to her with a small sigh. She was so nice… _She is like my mom._ "Thank you, Hiyo-"

Yukine stopped immediately, a strong aura of weariness and fear emanating from him as he looked around hurriedly. Hiyori staggered because of the sudden stop before turning towards him. "Y-Yukine-kun?"

He clenched the fabric of Hiyori's t-shirt tightly before loudly before muttering. "H-Hiyori… Don't you feel like you're being observed?"

Her breathing accelerated a little as dread filled her and she immediately hid the young boy behind her. No way she would let him be hurt again. He blushed a little at her protective action. "N-No, it's not someone dangerous; or at least I don't think so."

He could feel piercing eyes stare straight at him not too far. "Someone is definitely watching us."

* * *

"Yaboku, is something wrong?" said Fujisaki. "You're acting strange since a moment. Mizuchi is worried about you, and so am I."

Yato stayed silent, knowing all too well that none of their worry was genuine, except maybe Nora's. Fujisaki put the back of his hand on his forehead. "You don't have a fever."

The god hugged his knees tighter, not turning his look away from the window. "I'm just… thinking."

"I'm sorry for what I did. Well, I'm _not_ really sorry, but you have to understand that I don't accept you talking like that to Mizuchi. She is a sweet kid too, and you lived many things together. And I'm your father, whether you like it or not. I'll always be there for you. Never forget that, okay?"

"Yes, Father," he answered robotically.

Fujisaki continued to stare at his creation with a frown. He was about to leave when he heard a small gasp come from the god. "Yukine…! What is he doing here?!"

"Your kid?" The human looked through the window, and indeed saw the silhouette of the shinki through it. "You're right, he's here. Along with Hiyori-chan. But wasn't he hospitalized, Yaboku?"

Yato didn't answer, the palm of his hand resting against the cold glass, completely caught off-guard by the spectacle under his window. "He was really sick when he woke up… And Sayuri-san said the drugs were still present in his system. How can he be awake?"

Fujisaki pouted. "Yaboku, you liar. You told me he hadn't woken up." Yato curled his hand into a fist. "Did you say he had been drugged? By who?"

The genuine curiosity in Father's voice made Yato look away from his kid. "What do you mean, 'By who?' You aren't the one who drugged him?"

" _What_? Of course not. Fujisaki Kouto is underage; there is no way I would have access to that kind of stuff. And even I wouldn't drug a kid. I'm not _that_ crazy."

 _But torturing him is fine, though,_ thought Yato with rancour.

"Hmm… There's that time when I had to leave in a hurry, and I may have forgotten to close the house. Mizuchi was on a mission, so she wasn't these with him… Maybe someone used that moment to sneak in the house and do things to your kid."

He let out a sigh and turned back towards the window. Father sounded sincere. If it wasn't him, then who could have done that? And what had to happen did: Yukine _saw_ him look through the window. He immediately turned his head away. "Oh no…"

He felt torn between feeling incredibly happy and worried when he heard his shinki's cry. " _Yato!_ "

" _Yato_!" yelled the teenage girl.

The shinki pursued. "…Are you mad? Are you mad at me for what I said at the hospital? Is that _why_ you left, Yato?! I didn't think that- I-I need you to come back! _Please!_ "

The shinki let go of Hiyori, who said something to him that Yato couldn't hear. He shook his head, and came closer from the flat. "Hey Yato! _Yato!_ Yato, you can hear me right? I know you can; stop ignoring our calls!"

 _I'm not ignoring you; I'm thinking about all of you so much._

"Don't you care about us at all, Yato?!"

"Oh, won't he be quiet for a second? That's _enough_ ," said Fujisaki with a tsk. "What a bunch of noisy children. I'm going to shut them up."

Something like protectiveness flashed in Yato's eyes as he grabbed his creator's wrist. "No."

He huffed out a laugh, his tone becoming mocking. "No?"

"You heard me right. I said _no_ , Father. You won't do anything to them, and especially not to _Yukine_. Don't you think he had had enough of you?"

Fujisaki frowned severely. "Yaboku, I don't appreciate your attitude, neither your tone of voice. Now let me go immediately before you regret it."

"Let you go? Of course, Father," said the god with a smirk. "Just so you know… When I told you that I would kill you if you attacked my family again, I _meant_ it."

The hand around Fujisaki's wrist was quickly replaced by a blade to the abdomen. Fujisaki gasped before collapsing on the ground. He could feel warm blood run on his fingers as he inefficiently tried to stop the blood from flowing. "What t-the hell have you done, Yaboku…?!"

"I just told you, Father," said Yato in a completely neutral tone of voice. "I'm going to rejoin my kid now."

"K-Killing me will make you disappear."

"I _know_ that. But I suppose you're right; a simple stab to the stomach won't be enough to kill you." Yato knelt next to him, and plunged the knife in his father's chest this time. Fujisaki cried out in pain while Yato looked emotionlessly. Looking satisfied this time, he took off the blade and stood up.

"Th-There will be consequences," said Fujisaki through gritted teeth, his face pressed against the floor. "Your kid will suffer again. I will make you pay what you have just done."

Yato stared at him a moment before smiling. He already felt lightheaded; he knew he would disappear soon. Maybe in a few hours, if Fujisaki continued to lose all blood at such a rapid rate. "You know, you don't look so scary and threatening like that. I said that I was _going_ , Father. Say goodbye to Nora for me."

"Y-You will disappear if I die."

"That's why I'm going. I want to spend my lasts moments with my kid."

* * *

Yukine felt tears of joy well up in his eyes when he saw his god's blue eyes stare at him through a window. "It's Yato…!"

The eyes quickly disappeared though, along with Yukine's smile. He knew he had to hurry; he had to see Yato. Yato was going to disappear again if he didn't hurry. Without thinking it twice, he ran as fast as he could towards the building, hoping to reach his god before he disappeared again, only for his knees to suddenly buckle and cause him to fall loudly on the ground. "Yukine-kun!"

He was _exhausted._ Drained of all his energy. The sudden adrenaline that seeing Yato had caused vanished into the ether, leaving a cold and ugly void. He felt like he couldn't move anymore. He couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything, and couldn't feel anything except the blood staining his bandages. His bruised hand slowly turned into a shaking fist. _Why… Why can't I bring him back?_

" _It's because you're useless. That's why your mother left me."_

 _Doesn't he love me? Aren't I his kid?_

" _Huh… So you're not that useless,_ son _. There_ is _something that you are capable of doing something right, in the end."_

 _Dad…_

She was left completely distraught by that horrible spectacle of Yukine having a full-blown seizure. She knew that during seizures, especially such a violent one, the patient must not be restrained. She knew that she had to leave him, but…

"Yukine-kun, can you hear me? I-It's over; calm down!" She tried to shake his shoulder, only to receive a blood-curling scream, a terrified, long, loud cry of **'** _ **Don't touch me!'**_. Her eyes teared up and she started shaking before she even noticed it. She never knew someone could look in so much pain. "Y-Yukine-kun…"

"Dad… D-Dad… _Dad, please… Please_ …"

 _Dad_? Was he calling out for his father? She slowly withdrew her hand from his shoulder as a terrified thought crossed her mind. Was Yukine remembering his previous life? Had a God's greatest secret been revealed to him?

Then of all a sudden, he stopped convulsing and moving altogether. Hiyori thought her heart had stopped too. He went completely limp on the ground. Hiyori hurriedly placed him on his back, placing her ear on his chest as she thought about something terrifying. Something that had not to happen. Not again, not ever.

 _Thump, thump, thump…_

She let out a shuddering sigh. "Thank goodness, Yukine-kun…"

"I will take care of him, Hiyori."

The girl looked up, only to see Yato staring at them both with dull eyes. He knelt next to his prone kid. Hiyori noticed that he looked a lot paler than usual in the night, wondering if it was just a trick of light or if something was wrong. He placed his palm on his forehead, and Hiyori noticed that his fingers were looking almost… transparent. "He doesn't have a fever; he should be unconscious for a moment now."

He smelled blood, too. Was he hurt? "Yato…"

The god didn't say anything to her; only slipped one arm under his knees and the other under his neck. "We should bring him back to the hospital now."

"Ya…to…" whimpered Yukine.

Yato let out a dry laugh – he was happy to have heard his kid say that before dying – before placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. "I'm back now, Yukine. Your wish has been heard loud and clear."


	7. Darker

"Yato…"

"Thanks for taking care of my kid, Hiyori," smiled the god.

Hiyori refused to let herself be fooled by that fake smile. Moreover, it was strange. Why did he come back _now_? Before she could ask him anything, he spoke up. "We should hurry and take him back to the hospital."

The confused girl nodded and walked with the god, silencing her questions for the moment. She definitely had a lot of things to ask him.

* * *

Yukine had been quickly taken care of when they arrived at the hospital. A few minutes after their arrival, he was back in his bed, covered with his blanket, machines and IV drop linked to his body. Daikoku and Kofuku, along with Hiyori, had insisted to stay in his room.

Kofuku had taken Hiyori in her arms when she saw the state she was in, and now she had stopped crying. "He is fine now."

Kofuku continued to caress Hiyori's head. "Yato-chan, where were you all this time? We were worried about you. You didn't give any news."

"No need to ignore the elephant in the room, huh. I suppose one of you was going to mention it anyway. I'm sorry to have left all of you."

"That's not what Kofuku asked, Yato. She asked you where you were," said darkly Daikoku, who was leaning against the wall and eyeing Yato with clear anger. "The kid was worried sick. Sometimes we couldn't make him stop crying, so I believe he deserves some explanations. I believe we all deserve some, for the worry you caused us."

Yato gulped loudly and eyed his sleeping kid on the bed. He brushed some strands of hair of his face. "…I was with my father."

He had foreseen their reactions, really. He knew them all too well. Kofuku's gasp, the sudden disappearance of Daikoku's anger in his eyes as it let place to sorrow, Hiyori's saddened face. "Before any of you ask, yes I did kill people. I didn't have a choice; you would all be dead by now otherwise."

A heavy silence reigned in the room. "You should rely on us more, Yato-chan. You shouldn't let yourself be caught up in these kinds of dangerous situations and sacrifice yourself like that without telling anyone. And that is something I already told you more than once."

"I wasn't in danger, Kofuku; _you_ were. And you know I would take all the risks possible to protect all of you. Yukine especially. He hasn't healed yet." He pursued after a moment. "How did he do when I wasn't here, by the way?"

"Bad. He wasn't fine. He cried a lot, and sometimes after his seizures he would become very sick without reason. He would even throw up sometimes. Doing that often caused serious damage to his throat, and sometimes he would even throw up blood."

Yato froze. "But he has stopped vomiting recently. Sayuri-san has been giving something for that, and she is still searching what's causing him to be this sick and have so strong fevers."

"…Okay."

Bishamon barged in the hospital room, slamming the door open. _"Yatogami!"_

Kofuku dove to cover Yukine's ears, who had stirred at the loud noise. Hiyori started to caress his hand to calm him down, looking at the goddess with a frown. "Bisha, be quiet! You're going to wake Yukki up!"

Bishamon ignored the other goddess, continuing to stare at Yato with fury. Now that the god noticed it, he saw that blood was staining her clothes. And not just a little. She didn't look hurt, though. "Wow, what happened to you? Why are you looking at me like that; what did I do this time?"

Bishamon gritted her teeth. "Thank goodness there are children in the room, otherwise I would murder you right here right now." She took a calming breathe, thinking about how she address the issue without murdering the other god herself. "Okay, we're going to do like this. Look at your hand."

Puzzled, the god looked at his hand curiously a moment before turning it over. "What's wrong with it?"

"The fact that it is still here, despite the stupid act you have just done."

This accusation felt like a slap to the face. Bishamon crossed her arms just below her chest. "Too bad I saved the sorcerer just in time, huh? Otherwise your plan to kill yourself would have completely failed."

"Yato, what is she talking about?" stammered Hiyori. Yato winced at her tone of voice. "Hiyori-"

Anger she just couldn't hold back coloured Bishamon's voice. "Oh, you want me to explain? Fine. Just before he rejoined you, he tried to murder his father. You know, his lifeline? Well, he stabbed him. Twice. But his nora saw him doing that, and she eventually found me. She asked me to save him, and I managed to. The doctor said that he would be fine, and that we saved him just in time."

Hiyori rushed in his arms, sobbing openly. "God Yato, tell me you didn't… But why… _Why_ do you keep doing that? Why do you keep doing things so stupid all the time…?"

"I'm sorry," answered Yato, dangerously close to sobbing. He was too emotionally weakened to realize that he was crying in front of everybody. He couldn't bring himself to hold back the tears he had wanted to shed the second he entered Fujisaki's anymore. "I'm sorry…" He finally broke into sobs in Hiyori's arms, weeping along with her. He felt Kofuku rubbing his back too, and felt Daikoku's presence close to her.

He didn't know how long they all stayed like that, but he eventually fell asleep too.

When he woke up, it was still night. He was bent, sat on a hospital chair with his head resting on his kid's bed. A light-blue blanket was draped over his upper body, and he was alone in the room now. He passed his fingers on the fabric, smiling a little bit at this gesture of affection. It felt good, to be relieved of a weight like that. He loved them, really. Hiyori, Kofuku, Daikoku and Bishamon too, for having saved him from so many things.

* * *

 _It has been a few days since his mother and his sister left him, but he had slowly gotten used to being alone with his father. It was more silent now in the house, but it didn't bother him that much. He wasn't sure how his father was coping with the situation, though. They didn't talk like they did before anymore. His father became more distant, and he had caught him drinking a few times. He hoped this habit wouldn't spiral out of control soon, though._

" _Dad, I'm leaving okay? I'm going to be late for school."_

 _His father, half-conscious in the sofa, said something that made him stop in his tracks. "N-No, you won't."_

 _The boy stopped lacing his shoes, and looked at his father with an innocent frown. "I won't? Won't what, Dad?"_

" _Y-You won't g-go to school today. You s-stay here."_

 _The boy frowned. Surely it was alcohol again who was making his father talk. It would pass later. Ignoring his father's order, he opened the main door. "I think you drank too much, Dad. I'm going now, I'm going to miss the bus."_

 _Before the boy had even set a foot outside, his father had already caught his son by his wrist and slammed him against the wall. "Didn't you hear me? I said y-ya would stay here."_

 _The boy winced. His father definitely smelled alcohol. "D-Dad let me go. You're hurting me."_

 _The space between father and son became smaller as the adult pressed his body against the child, pinning him to the wall. "How dare you give orders to your own father? You're such a disobedient child. Right now, you are going to shut your pretty mouth and listen to me, son. First of all, it's_ your _fault your mother left. And now that she isn't here, you must take responsibility for your acts. Do you know what it means?"_

 _The young boy was crying again. His father was downright scary right now. "Dad… Please stop; let me go… I really have to go to school today. I didn't go yesterday…"_

" _Yes… You must do everything your mother did when she was here. She left because of you, so it's only natural, no? And…"_

 _His grin turned into something darker as he eyed his son, hungrily. Animally. "Actually, there is something I_ really _,_ really _want to do right now."_

"Yukine, wake up," said Yato for what must have been at least the twentieth time.

Little by little, Yukine came back to consciousness and became aware of his god's presence above him. But his panic didn't lessen, not even a little. "Hey kid, wake up. Yukine, it's over. Hey, Yukine. Yukine!"

The young shinki sat up abruptly, and before he even had time to recognize where he was, arms were wrapped up around him. "Hey, it's over now. Stop crying."

These arms and this smell were unmistakable. "Ya…t-to… Ya…to… I-Is that y-y-you?"

"Yeah. You're safe now, so don't be scared anymore." Yukine grabbed the god's clothes as tightly as he could. He couldn't tell what he had dreamt about, but he was _terrified_. He needed to be reassured now. He wanted to be safe. After some minutes of hugging and reassurances from the god, Yukine's tears had stopped. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Y-Yes," hiccupped the hafuri. "I'm sorry…"

"It's alright. It's over now."

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry, I'm sorry, _I'm_ _sorry_ …" wept Yukine.

Yato began to think that it must have been a pretty strong nightmare, to put his kid in such a state. He tightened his grip. "A nightmare?" repeated Yato while grabbing a cup of water from a table nearby. "Do you want to talk about it? Hey, stop crying." Yato smirked. "You're going to make to cry too."

Yukine only wept harder, and continued to apologize. Yato sighed, and continued to comfort him. He only stopped crying after a good ten minutes of reassurances and caresses. "Do you want to talk about your nightmare?"

Yukine shook his head. "I d-don't remember it anyway."

Yato handed him a cup of water and watched silently as the kid chugged down the cup's contents. "You're finished with it? Give it to me."

"I-I thought you would never be coming back, Yato."

The minor god let out a sigh, having expected the topic to be mentioned by the shinki. "Hiyori was crying every day. Well, when I was conscious. I even think that she skipped some days of school just to search you. No one wanted to say anything to me because I was hospitalized and they thought it would just stress me even more. They kept saying that they would find you soon, but it had been more than one week that you left. I… I really thought you abandoned us, and that if we didn't come to get you then you would have never come back."

Yukine looked up to Yato, accusation clear in his reddened eyes. "Tell me the truth, Yato. Why did you _leave_?"

"…I didn't want my father to do anything else to you. So I came back to his side." Oh god, he could already feel a lump forming in his throat. He hoped the conversation wouldn't last too long, otherwise he just knew he would start crying again. And he didn't want to cry in front of his kid.

Yukine let out a dry laugh. "And here I was, thinking you left for a good reason."

"Yukine I'm sorry. I didn't think it would do that to you. I-I was-"

"Just wanting to protect me. As usual," scoffed the shinki, curling up in his bed with the covers hiding his face. "Acting before thinking. Acting before thinking about what we felt."

Yato opened his mouth, and bit his lip when he felt it tremble. "Y-Yukine, I'm sorry."

The shinki took note of the trembling tone in his master's voice, and was once again being surrounded by loving arms that held him tightly and tenderly. Yukine was about to protest and pull away and tell his master he was really angry with him to have done something he had told him not to do so many times when he heard the latter sob.

His brain took a moment to comprehend this information.

Yato was _crying_. Crying because of him.

He was going to apologize to his master, but Yato beat him to it. His speech was nothing but pained sobs, and it broke Yukine's heart to hear his master like this. To see his seemingly indestructible god breaking down. " _God_ , Yukine… You d-don't understand: I-I c-couldn't bear a-anything more happening to you. I… I already thought you w-were dead when Father took you away, and… I really, really missed you. I can tell you exactly how long you were away from me. Every day was colourless without you. I didn't see any aim or goal in anything."

"Yato…?"

"And when I was with Father… You're right, maybe I have been egoist to leave you all alone. Maybe the person I was trying to protect the most was myself, after all. I k-knew that I couldn't have borne to lose you twice. And when I was with my father… I may sound hypocrite, but… I really missed you. Of course, Hiyori and Kofuku and Daikoku too, but… Y-You're my kid. My one and only. I… L-Losing you would-"

"I-It's okay Yato. I-I forgive you, so stop crying." It was so… strange. Yukine knew that his god loved him, but he never suspected he loved him that much…

Yato only tightened his grip at these words, almost hurting the shinki, but seemed to have gotten most of his sadness back under control because his voice was steadier now. He couldn't cry anymore. Yukine needed him. "Yukine, I can't lose you _again_. Please understand; t-that would _break_ me. O-Once was more than enough."

Yukine opened his mouth, and pressed his face in the god's shoulder. "Stop saying all these stupidities… Y-You're so stupid, it's making me cry."

Yato let out a laugh. "My _stupidity_ is what is making you cry?"

"O-Obviously," sniffled the kid, liberating himself from the god's grip. "You're stupid. A true bakagami."

Yato wiped his eyes, and tried his hardest to smile for his kid. He had had too many breakdowns for today. "It's not because you missed me and you're so happy to have me back that you can't help but cry?"

"Not at all. Y-You're so hopeless sometimes, bakagami. I h-have already thought of the punishment you will r-receive for not respecting your guidepost wishes, so y-you better get prepared."

Yato found himself smiling wider at this. He didn't know what he had ever done to deserve a kid as awesome as Yukine. This kid was so _precious_. "I'm ready to accept my punishment, dear guidepost."

Yukine smirked. "Oh, I'm not so sure. I have decided to triple your Ayakashi quota. We will start in three days, just so that I can get back on my feet."

"Triple?!"

"Well, it's your own fault! If you hadn't been so stupid then I wouldn't need to do that. At least now I know you won't leave again."

"If you give me such punishments, then sure…" Yato smiled and stood up, feeling lighter than when he first arrived in the room. "Well, I-I'm going to let you rest a little, okay? Do you need anything in particular?"

Yukine desperately wanted him to stay, but finally decided not to bother his god further. "No, I'm fine. M-My head hurts though."

Yato placed a cool hand on his burning forehead. "Did your fever rise again? Well, I can't help it. I'll stay until it breaks."

Yukine didn't say anything to that, only let the god tuck him properly in his bed in silence, and place on his forehead a small and loving kiss. "Thank you, Yukine. I'm sorry, too." He didn't know why he was being thanked, but soon drifted into an unconsciousness caused by his fever.

* * *

" _Dad, are you the one making all this… noise…" asked the kid in a small and tired voice. There was too much noise downstairs, he couldn't do his homework at all. He wondered who could be making all this noise, and quickly got an answer._

 _The living room was filled with adults that he was sure not to know, and the sickening smell of alcohol emanated from the room. He didn't fail to notice that they were all men. Knowing that many strangers were under his roof made him more than a little bit uncomfortable. All voices died when he spoke, and all men turned towards him._

 _He felt like he was being observed under a microscope by hundreds of evil and maleficent eyes. It was just horrible._

 _One of the men whistled. "So,_ he _is your kid? Not bad. Not bad at all."_

 _Panic seized him. He didn't like this man's way of… leering at him. "D-Dad, what are all these men doing here?! Make them leave already; they have no reason to be here!"_

" _Yeah, I guess. He can be pretty useful when he wants to," answered his father, ignoring his son._

" _Dad!"_

 _His father tsked before advancing towards him in a hazardous way, his knees almost giving in under the man's weight. The boy frown at his father's distinct way of walking. "Dad, you've gotten drunk again, haven't you?"_

 _He took a step backwards when his father came too close to him for his state, feeling a strong feeling of fear at the man. He hated feeling like that; he was still his father. Yet there was something almost mad in his eyes. He hoped it was only sake which made his father like that. "Listen to me, you. I'm going out, and I'll be back in about two hours. D-During that time, you're going to let_ all _these men do whatever they want to you, whether you want it or not. Trust me, they will tell me if you disobeyed, so you better comply and cooperate with them. Their money should be enough to pay this month's bills."_

 _He almost couldn't believe his ears. "What the hell are you saying, Dad…? I can't believe it. Some strangers paid you and you gave them the authorisation of doing whatever they wanted to me? B-But… Are you insane? THERE IS NO WAY I WILL ACCEPT TO STAY ALONE WITH STRANGERS!"_

 _A strong slap quickly put him to the ground. He stayed on the ground dizzy, stunned, and unable to believe what had happened. His father had never, ever raised a hand on him before. The next thing he heard was some footsteps, and the sound of a door being locked._

Yukine's return to consciousness was a second later the door in his dream became locked. He sat up, panicked, wondering for a second where all these strange dreams did come from, and why he would never remember them. Thankfully, Yato hadn't woken up. With a small relieved sigh, he looked outside, noticing the sun had already risen in the sky. He saw his master was still sleeping in one of the hospital chairs; Yato should already be awake by now.

He didn't think his master would ever speak so openly about his feelings. True, they loved each other – that was obvious and needn't to be mentioned in his mind - but… Losing him must have wrecked his master more than he thought, if he started to say things like that. It was embarrassing, but he really appreciated being loved. Yato was so nice… Like… Like a father, maybe.

Yeah, a father.

"Yukine…?" yawned the god.

Blue orbs were staring straight at him with a faint worry. "You're up, Yato?"

"You alright?"

"Hm-mh. I just woken up."

Yato stared at him a few more seconds before sighing. "You don't look fine at all, kid. You're super pale."

Yukine brought his knees to his chest, and put his head atop of them. Yato ruffled slightly his hair. "It's going to be alright, okay? You're a brave kid."

The whole atmosphere seemed to change when Yato's voice became cheerful again. "Hey, Kofuku went to the shop while we were sleeping, and took some food for you. She said something like it was already noon, but I pretty much tuned her out and went back to sleep pretty quickly. Want some? It must have been a moment since you last ate, and Sayuri-san said that I had to make you eat something."

Yukine nodded while blushing. "Seriously, stop asking me if I'm alright every two seconds. You're embarrassing."

Yato grinned. "Agreed, I suppose I can be sometimes. Here, take that."

The hafuri grabbed the box the god was handing him. Yato noticed that his hands were trembling a little but didn't mention it. "You know you can tell me if something's wrong, okay? Don't-"

"Bottle everything up. I know." Yukine opened the box, and stared at its contents. It looked good. He gulped strongly before asking his question. "…Could I ask you something?"

"Always."

"If one day…" he knew he had to be careful in his wording. "If maybe I do something bad, or y-you didn't want me to…" He clutched the box in his hands. "Say, would you punish me? W-Would you ever hurt me because I was bad? Would you release me?"

He hoped so much, so much that Yato hadn't seen the hands when he was with Father. All the hands of the people he _killed_. It had been stressing him so much that he couldn't sleep anymore. If he wasn't mad, it surely meant he hadn't seen them, but you never knew with Yato.

Maybe he had, and was just disgusted by Yukine and acted nice just because he was going to release him after.

"Of course not," answered Yato in his softest voice, horrified by the fact that it had even crossed his kid's mind that he could be released. "Never. I won't release you, and no one will ever touch you again. They will have to get through me first. Doesn't mean you can't hit me if I'm being stupid, though."

Yukine let out a little laugh as Yato's smile softened more. "It's fine now, kiddo. Now eat a little, you're just skin and bones, and after that you can take a nap if you need to."

 _I'm not old like you; I don't need a nap, thought the hafuri with annoyance._ He smirked when he saw Yato's grimace at his thought, and ate his food without saying anything more. He wouldn't tell him now, for the hands; he wanted to profit this warmth and love a moment more before it got all taken away by the consequences of his acts. "The others want to see you; do you mind them coming here?"

"No. Just- Don't leave. Stay."

"Hm-mh."

One by one, people entered his hospital room. He frowned when he saw even Kazuma enter. Kazuma knew he had been hospitalized, then? "You're finally awake, Yukine! I was really worried," said Daikoku with relief.

Yukine smiled a little at them. "Sorry to have worried you all like that. But I'm fine now."

"You worried me so much yesterday, Yukine-kun. Y-You just started to yell, and after that there was that seizure… Please promise me you won't leave your bed if you're not told to again, okay?"

"Yes, Hiyori. I'm sorry."

She shook her head with a small smile. "I'm really sorry to have worried you, Hiyori. I didn't think I would cause you so much trouble. Say… If you're not mad, could we have a lesson soon?"

"Of course!" she beamed. "It's true that it has been a while. We will have one when you're well enough to leave the hospital, I promise you."

"Thank you."

After one hour or so of laughter and questions and teasing from his friends, Sayuri came in the bedroom. "Oh, you're awake Yukine-san. Mind if I do a physical check-up on you? I would like to change your bandages."

The merry mood disappeared quickly in the room. Yukine reluctantly let go of the god to let the doctor check him. As she had expected, his wounds had reopened. Silence reigned in the room the second Yukine's shirt was lifted; and more especially when the bandages on his forearms were taken off. They were all so silent that it felt like the room was completely empty. The silence finally made Sayuri feel queasy. "It's fine; they're not all bleeding again. But I would prefer to change them all, just to be sure."

Yukine nodded, only noticing now the states his wounds were in. She finished her work her ten minutes later, wrapping him in new and clean white bandages. "Say, Sayuri-san… When will Yukine be able to leave? Does he have to pass more tests or something?"

The female doctor thought about it a moment. "Well for now, he should be fine. The worst has passed, and it has been a moment that he is here. I suppose he can go home, but I insist that he comes regularly here so that I can see how he's doing. And don't forget to give your son his medication for his epilepsy. Every day, all right?"

Every person in the room showed happy and relieved expressions. "So it's over now? All over? Yukki is fine, right?"

"Of course. Could you all help him prepare himself to leave? I would like to just have a word with his father. It won't take long."

"His father?" repeated Daikoku. "His father isn't here."

"…Yes, Yato-san. He is Yukine-san's father, is he not?"

Understanding and amusement passed through the shinki's eyes as he nodded, and Kofuku giggled a little. Sayuri frowned before leaving the room with Yato, letting the door ajar. There was absolute silence before Yato spoke. "What… did you want to ask me, Sayuri-san?"

"I am not going to mince my words, Yato-san; I would strongly advise you to make your son meet a psychologist, at least once."

"A psychologist?" He was glad she had decided to speak to him alone; Yukine wouldn't have accepted to hear any of that.

"It's obvious he went through some kind of important trauma. Unfortunately, his self-harming scars aren't the only proof. Hiyori told me that you weren't here and why, so that's no wonder you wouldn't know, but… He was having recurrent nightmares each night, barely even slept because of them, and showed serious PTSD symptoms. I really think he should see a psychologist."

Yato gnawed on his lip, deep in thought. Yukine would surely not accept seeing a psychologist. He would claim that he was fine, completely fine and that he didn't need to do that. The god hunched his shoulders, ready to give her an answer. "…I will think about it, Sayuri-san. If I see that he really can't recover alone, then I will call one."

Yukine opened the door with everybody behind him. "Are you done talking, both of you?"

"Yeah, we are done. Ready to go home now?"

Yukine grinned, and nodded. Then, he made a face like he just remembered something, and turned towards Sayuri. "U-Um… I would like to thank you. For what you have done. W-Without you I would have never been healed."

"Oh, it's my job. Don't need to thank me for this. Be a good child to your father, all right? I will come to see you soon anyway."

Yukine became red as a tomato. "Y-Yes miss."

* * *

Yukine stretched with a wide smile once they all arrived in front of Kofuku and Daikoku's house. "Gee, it feels so good to be home…! It feels like it has been ages since I went there!"

He noticed a second later that everybody was staring at him with soft eyes. He froze as blush crept up to his face. "W-Will you stop looking at me like that, all of you?" he grumbled. "It's weird."

Kofuku laughed. "Sorry for that, Yukki. I guess we're just too happy to have you back. Enter all of you; Daikoku cooked something special just for the occasion."

"I really appreciate that, Kofuku-sama. I'm starving," said Kazuma before going in. Bishamon sighed before following him too, along with Yukine and Daikoku.

Yato advanced too, only to see Kofuku stand straight in front of him. He blinked at her twice when he saw her raised hand. "What is it, Kofuku?"

"A high-five, Yato-chan!"

The god frowned before hesitantly slapping his hand in hers. She grinned before going in the house too. After a second, he smiled a little before thrusting his hands in his pockets and going in too. That was a Kofuku-like action all right. And, like her, had the capacity of lifting his mood too.

* * *

The man groaned as he sat on a bench in a fairly deserted children park, waiting for an answer on his phone. He hadn't slept at all recently because of everything going on, and his whole body was hurting him like crazy. He knew he didn't have the patience to wait forever for this message. He hurriedly lit on his phone the very second it chimed, and made a face.

 **From:** **Unknown number**

 **The initial plan failed; I can't help you have your kid back anymore. Sorry, but you have to continue the plan on your own. Start with the messages; I sent you the number, and the address too.**

He quickly typed something back.

 **To:** **Unknown number**

 **What do you mean, you can't help me anymore? What happened?**

…

 **From:** **Unknown number**

 **Too much happened. I couldn't explain. I also sent you the phone number of a few persons who have a good reason to help you for the plan. Sorry once again, but good luck I guess. I know how much you want your kid back, and I hope you'll succeed in it.**

The man cursed loudly before stuffing his phone back in his pocket. Great; just _great_. As if everything was too easy right now. He had to do everything on his own, although he should have known better than to trust a high-school boy with his plan.

When he noticed a few persons were giving him a strange look, he became more silent. No need to get so worked up indeed; _everything_ would work out in the end. His kid would definitely go home. He grinned darkly, already beginning to savour his revenge. The fun would start again very soon.

* * *

One by one, people left home, leaving Daikoku, Kofuku, Yukine and Yato in the living room. "It was fun."

"Yeah," agreed Daikoku, whose tone soured a little. "However the house is a mess now because of the party, and I have to clean everything up."

"I'll help you cleaning," proposed Yukine. "Yato surely isn't going to, given how drunk he is. And Kofuku-san is in no state of doing so either."

Both of the shinki looked at Yato exasperated. His cheeks were tainted pink by the three bottles of sake he had drank, he sprawled on his back on the floor and muttering something incomprehensible once in a while. Kofuku was drunk too, although she didn't look half as pathetic as Yato did. More than anything, she was silent. Yukine sighed before gathering all the plates on the table in a pile to put them in the sink. "That's official; my master is useless."

Daikoku laughed at this and took several plates from the younger shinki's pile. Yukine said nothing at it and picked the now lighter pile in his arms. Daikoku passed in front of him, and put the heavier pile of dishes in the sink, dreading the moment when he would have to clean all the dishes. Seriously, he thought it could clearly wait tomorrow to be done. The second he turned around however, he saw that Yukine was falling, and all the plates he was holding smashed on the floor. The sound was effecting in waking the gods up from their trance.

Daikoku hurriedly caught Yukine's body before he could fall in the glass. He called him several times and shook him, but received no answer. Kofuku spoke before he panicked entirely. "It's an absence seizure. It will pass soon."

Daikoku looked at the haunted look in Yukine's eyes. Yukine wasn't moving, or blinking; he was like a statue. It was scary. A good minute after that, light came back to his eyes little by little. Yukine blinked twice before noticing he was in Daikoku's arms. "Daikoku-san…?"

Daikoku nodded without saying anything, and lowered Yukine's body to sit him on the floor. The situation slowly came to Yukine, and he let out a horrified sound when he saw the shattered plates on the floor. "Did I-"

Yato's hand caressed his back. "It's fine, Yukine. You must be tired; let get to sleep, 'kay?"

Yukine forced himself not to cry. "Oh no… And I was stupid enough to have taken all these plates. I'm sorry for the mess I made, Daikoku-san. I'm really sorry, and I promise that I will pay them back, and-"

"Chill out, kid, it's fine. The old Daikoku is going to clean that up, so go to sleep, okay? Yato can come with you if you want."

"No… Please, Daikoku-san, let me at least clean them up before I go to sleep. It's the least I can do for breaking them all."

Yukine didn't wait an answer as he grabbed the broom and immediately put himself to work. Yukine made sure no porcelain's shards were left when he was done, while Yato and Daikoku were being careful none of the plate's shards hurt the shinki while he was swiping them. "I-I think it's good now."

"Yeah, it is. Now go to sleep. And don't worry too much for the plates; honestly, I wasn't especially looking forward to clean them anyway."

Yukine laughed a little, but he was clearly nervous. Nervous and scared. "Okay. I-I promise you I will buy new ones though."

"Mh-hm. Good night Yukine. Good night Yato."

They both wished him good night in sync before going in their shared bedroom upstairs. Yato saw how fast his kid climbed up the stairs and dove under his futon's cover. He massaged his neck with a frown, noticing the way he hid entirely in his futon. "Geez, don't get so upset over plates, kid. I'll buy new ones tomorrow."

Yukine froze under his blankets. "I broke some plates."

"…?"

"Are you going to hit me?"

Yato's eyes widened a little before he padded next to his shivering kid. He placed a hand on his body, feeling a stab of sadness when he saw him still. In fear. "Yukine, listen to me. No matter what you do, I am never, ever going to hurt you, okay? Do you trust me?"

"Y-Yes…"

"Then calm down, and breathe."

Yato let out a dramatic sigh, and slipped into Yukine's bed. "Hey! What are you-"

"Isn't it better like that?"

Yukine became all red on his face before turning away from his god. "Whatever. Do what you want; I won't sleep anyway."

"…What do you mean?"

Yukine fisted his t-shirt just above his heart. "I mean that I can't sleep anymore, Yato. I can't close my eyes. I'm…" he hated being this pathetic, really. "I don't know what will happen next if I close my eyes again, and I don't want to experience it. It's just really stressing me, and I really can't sleep anymore. And anyway, each time I miraculously manage to get some sleep then I wake up bothering you because of a nightmare I can't even remember, so it's useless I even try."

"You… You haven't been sleeping all this time…?" muttered the god.

He cleared his throat and hurried to add. "But I will be fine; I'll find something to do. _You_ should go to sleep on the other hand, you look exhausted. Being drunk is that exhausting, huh?"

"Not a chance that I go to sleep knowing you aren't fine. Even if I stay with you you're still scared? You sure you can't sleep?"

"I'm sure. I'm exhausted, and would like nothing more than have a week of sleep right now, yet the thought of closing my eyes terrifies me. But I guess it will pass. You shouldn't worry too much…"

"It has been almost a month since you were taken, and it didn't just _pass._ To think you haven't been sleeping all this time…" Yato thought about a solution to this, in vain. He finally draped a hand on his shoulders, and brought him close. "Try to get some sleep, okay? I'm here, and nothing is going to hurt you. Don't hesitate to wake me up if you really can't, because I think I'm going to sleep very soon."

"Okay, I will try." Yato continued to stare at him worriedly before burying his nose in his kid's hair. "You can be so stubborn sometimes. But I guess that's a part of you. Good night kid."

"Good night Yato."

The god fell asleep a few minutes later; Yukine deduced that he was a lot more tired than what he showed. He had never seen his god fall asleep so much. Even worse, he was _silent_. No mumbling in his sleep, no _'Hiyori, marry me please…'_ no _'Wow, a true Capyper!'_ , and no sudden movement. His arm stayed draped over his body all night, a silent promise of always protecting him. Yato was exhausted, and yet he had bothered him with his dumb 'I can't sleep anymore' stuff. He felt stupid.

He let out a sigh, and tentatively closed his eyes, only to reopen them not even a second later with a wildly beating heart. Yato stirred at the sudden surge of emotion, and Yukine bit his lip at the sound. Yato had to sleep.

But it was useless. No matter how many times he tried this night, he just couldn't sleep. He supposed sadly that it would take a lot of time before he could have a good night of sleep again.


	8. The plan

" _Yato, help! Yato…!"_

 _He was chained somewhere, and facing directly his kid. The whole room was sombre, yet by some trick of his mind he could perfectly well see his kid suffering in front of him. A shadowy figure above him was beating him mercilessly and repeatedly, while Yukine was uselessly trying to block the attacks with his thin and fragile arms. Yato felt a maelstrom of painful emotions rush through him at this spectacle. He had to make whoever was hurting his kid_ stop.

 _He yanked at the chains with enough strength to dislocate his shoulders, which in return grinded and protested at his violent movements. Yukine was still trying to protect himself, but now he had started crying and begging. His words shattered Yato's heart. "Yato will come. H-He will save me… He will make you stop… Please Yato… Yato…"_

 _No matter how loud he yelled to Yukine's faceless aggressor to_ stop _and to Yukine that he was coming, and that he was just here, none of them seemed to hear him. Yukine didn't stop crying, and after a strong-looking kick, Yato felt his shinki's presence disappear little by little from his mind._

 _Yukine's bloodied arm fell limp on the floor._

 _His attacker's foot hovered above the now dead shinki's body an instant. He reposed his foot on the slowly-forming puddle on blood, before jerking his head towards the god and staring at him with demonic red eyes. "I told you times and times, Yaboku. You can't protect anyone. Not even your kid."_

The end of the dream had had the effect of a bolt of lightning on the god, who sat up immediately gasping for air. Placing a hand on his pounding heart, he tried to regain his breathing during several minutes, in vain. He had started getting a lot of nightmares like that since Yukine had come back from the hospital, nightmares which were unfortunately always this detailed. If Yukine hadn't been sleeping well recently, then him neither, that was for sure.

He turned his head at an almost inaudible moan. "Ya…"

The end of his name had probably been pronounced, but Yukine's voice was so small that he could have never heard it anyway. He felt a disagreeable throb run through the arm that had been draped over his kid, and groaned in annoyance, temporarily distracting him from Yukine. He rolled his t-shirt's sleeve up to a little bit under his shoulder, and studied his arm by Yukine's study lamp's light.

It was blighted.

He examined it a moment further before turning towards his hafuri's still form and nudging his shoulder. He didn't know where this blight came from, but he hoped he hadn't blighted Yukine because of it… "Hey, Yukine. Kid, wake up-"

Touching Yukine's shoulder made the blight spread even further on him. Yato winced in pain and took his hand off like it had been burnt. His sluggish brain took a second to understand what was going on, but when it did, it left him horror-struck. "Hey Yukine! Yukine wake up!"

Terrified beyond words now, he grabbed both of Yukine's shoulders to shake him, and his heart sank like a stone when he saw him entirely. Blight had taken over all Yukine's body, leaving him shivering and sweating, sparing only a few inches of skin on his face. His wild-beating heart was completely blocking the sound of Yukine's shallow breathing, which made him panic even more. Yato had begun yelling before he had even noticed it.

Kofuku and Daikoku rushed upstairs at the yell, and bolted in the room at the sight of Yukine's condition. "Yato-chan, what's going on?!"

Yato snapped out of his trance at Kofuku's strangled voice. He didn't lose time trying to speak to him or listen to his breathing because he knew he wouldn't hear it anyway. Instead, all four rushed in the bathroom; the goddess and her shinki were holding Yukine in place while Yato made cold water from the divine sources run over him; Yukine let out a small gasp when it touched him for the first time, but otherwise didn't move. Yato breathed again when he saw the purple stains disappear from him.

It had been close.

He regained consciousness a moment after Yato had stopped the water, and saw his master bent towards him. He could faintly hear his words. "-be good… I can't see blight on him anymore."

"Yato…"

"Yukine, you're awake… Dear heavens, what happened to you?! Did an Ayakashi attack you during the night?!" shouted Yato, fear lacing each word of his sentence.

Yukine just blinked at him owlishly before looking around. "Daikoku-san? Kofuku-san? Why are you're here…?"

"Oh Yukki, I'm so glad you're awake! Do you know what happened?"

Yukine let out a sigh before answering her. "I don't know… It just… happened…"

"Why didn't you wake me up when you started to feel pain?! I told you to-"

Yukine simply yawned, no other emotion than sleepiness in his voice. "I couldn't move… I was in too much pain to talk to you. I'm sorry…"

Yato let out a breath; Yukine looked too out to care anyway. "Don't be… It's not your fault, kid. Sorry I got angry like that. I'm going to get you a towel and some dry clothes. Daikoku and Kofuku, stay with him, alright?"

Yukine looked at his master leaving with a blank stare. "What am I doing here?"

"Yato saw you covered in blight, and he brought you here. It was serious; you could have died from it. Thank goodness it left, though," added Daikoku, brushing some strands of wet and dripping hair off his face. "You're alright now."

"Hmm," was Yukine's simple answer.

Yato appeared in the bathroom a moment later, with a pair of new pyjamas tucked under his arm. He shut the door behind him before returning to his shinki's side. "We're going to let you change; put these on, and after that come in the living room. Do you need help or not? You can do it alone?"

"Yes, I'm fine. You can all go."

They all left him alone after sparing him a last worried gaze. Yato asked once again if he was okay on his own, but Yukine hadn't heard him and had started to change, so he left. He looked fine for now.

It was almost morning now, and no one intended to go back to sleep after the scare they had just had. The situation could have had a very different outcome if Yato hadn't woken up. Yukine would have just died on the spot, and they had almost lost him too many times already.

Kofuku glanced at the silent god worriedly before declaring that she was going to make tea for everyone. He muttered something like thanks to her, and Daikoku helped him sit round their low table, knowing he had probably just taken a strong emotional blow. Yato had had enough of the last month, fearing for Yukine's life all the time. "He will come soon."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks." The aura of tiredness disappeared as Yato laid on his back and intertwined his fingers on his belly. "But I wonder what happened. An Ayakashi couldn't have attacked him; that's for sure. I was here. I would have felt it."

"Are you feeling anything strange from him?"

"Yeah, I think… I'm not sure. I couldn't say it precisely, but it's like-"

The clicking of the bathroom's door made all his attention turn back to his kid, who looked strongly displeased and a little more awake now. "This t-shirt is ridiculous, Yato. I told you times and times I didn't like capypers."

Yato snickered at this; maybe the small capypers covering the entire top were indeed too much. "I think it suits you." He sobered a little. "How are you feeling?"

Kofuku came back with a few steaming mugs in her hands and handed one to everybody. Yukine accepted it with a smile and let warm tea roll down his throat. "I'm feeling fine."

"What happened, Yukki?"

"I don't know… I was just sleeping, and after that I was in the bathroom with you."

"You were sleeping?" repeated Daikoku. "So you had a seizure then?"

"…A seizure? Why would I have a seizure?"

He looked up from his mug after a too long silence. The adults were all looking at him with strange expressions and furrowed brows. "…What's wrong? Did I say something weird?"

"Yukki… You told us that you couldn't sleep recently, and the only times when you do is after a seizure. Have you _forgotten_ that Yato-chan's father has taken you three weeks ago? And-"

"Yukine, what do you remember?" cut hurriedly Yato.

"…You're all acting really strange. I don't know why you invented this, but no one took me. And I wasn't with Yato's dad either. I remember I was at the hospital, and that I came home after…" He trailed off. "Why was I at the hospital anyway?"

Yato lowered his head, clenching his fists hard. So after epilepsy, it was amnesia now. "We're going to see Bishamon."

* * *

Naturally, Bishamon was more than annoyed when she opened the door to the calamity god and his shinki. She was wearing a thin white dress, and Yato guessed that she had just come out of bed. He felt a little bit bad to bother her in the middle of the night like that. She probably had better things to do right now. Like sleeping. "Enter. Hurry."

They slipped in the house without a word. Yukine was now more puzzled than ever, and didn't hesitate to voice his incomprehension. "I'm sorry to be rude Bishamon-sama, but… what are we doing here? Did you call us to come here?"

Yato stayed silent. "Yukine!" said Kazuma, a few metres behind his goddess. "I'm glad to see you! Could you come please? I must prepare breakfast for the others before they wake up, and I would gladly use an extra pair of hands to prepare everything."

"Kazuma-san?! You're awake this early?" It was more than strange; and a little bit too convenient too. He glanced at his master worriedly before understanding that he didn't really have a choice here. Yato wouldn't give him any explanation anyway; it was clear on his face. So he just nodded at Kazuma and followed him in the kitchen without a word.

"Sorry for calling you this early, Bishamon," breathed Yato. "And Kazuma too. I just didn't know who else I could call, and given you own this many shinki, I thought that maybe you could help…"

"It's fine. It's Kazuma himself who proposed to take care of Yukine while we were speaking, so don't apologize for him. And it's good to see you share some of your problems from time to time." She led him to a room where two cups of tea were resting on a table. "So, what's wrong with him? He still can't sleep?"

"Yukine… I woke up today and saw that he was covered in blight. He was _dying_ , Bishamon. And when he regained consciousness, he just forgot that he had been kidnapped…"

She took a sip of her tea, keeping her face as neutral as she could. "Maybe… he has traumatic amnesia."

"Traumatic am- that's nonsense. It has been almost _three_ _weeks_ that it happened. Why would he develop amnesia now and not just after it happened?"

"I don't know… The memories must have suddenly become too much for him to bear, and his brain has unconsciously suppressed them in a self-defense mechanism. I heard that kind of amnesia can appear all of a sudden, so you shouldn't be too surprised."

"But I didn't think it was becoming this severe…" Yato rubbed his face with his palms. It was too early. "D-Do you know if he could remember one day?"

"Maybe. It could, if something triggers a memory of it; just be prepared, because if he remembers everything all of a sudden then he might… _break_. And transform. Be sure to check his name often, and to pay attention to his feelings, but I don't think I need to remind you that."

Yato only now realized the precariousness of Yukine's situation. "…I see. Sorry for calling like that."

"Anything else? I can see that something else's wrong with him."

Yato didn't even think about holding back this information. "…Sometimes, he would wake up completely delirious and rambling. The first time he woke up at the hospital, he begged me not to hurt him. He would have a lot of fever, but I still don't know why."

"Fevers, huh… I can make a few researches if you want. I'll ask the others gods of fortune if they know something about it." Bishamon eyed the god. "Since you're here, you could spend today here, and sleep a little. You look worse than you usually do. Maybe it would do some good to Yukine to move too; he could also train with Kazuma if he wants to today."

"Wait, _what_? Are you using my kid to keep me all for yourself? I didn't think you were like that, really." It came out of nowhere, really, just something he thought on the top of his head to annoy her and break the solemn atmosphere. Bishamon's splutter and her face's sudden redness were absolutely worth it.

She slammed the mug on the table with enough strength to break both the mug _and_ the table. " _What the hell?!_ There is no way I would like someone like _you_ to stay here! I'm doing that because Kazuma missed him too!"

Yato shook his head dramatically, shoving his tiredness aside for a moment, oblivious to her rising fury. "Of course… You can't resist my divine charm, so you're trying to find excuses. I understand, really. You're not the first one who succumbs to it. But I don't think it would work between us, I'm sorry."

She grabbed the collar of his white t-shirt, infuriated by his stupidity. " _I'm going to strangle you, you stupid-_ "

"Breakfast's ready!" chirped Bishamon's twin shinki together, attracted by the smell of freshly cooked food. All her shinki came in her large living room one by one, greeting her before setting around the table. She tsked before letting the god fall on the ground without an ounce of pity. He fell face first on the floor. "Hey! That's rude, psycho bitch!"

"Says the one who calls me in the middle of night. Call me that once again and you will regret it," muttered the goddess before standing up and walking towards her shinki, making sure to stamp on Yato with her high heels on her way, her grin widening at each yelp of pain. He more than deserved it anyway.

Yato opened his mouth to bark something at her, but Yukine's voice rang first. "Yato! We finished making breakfast! Hurry up before there's nothing left!"

Putting his anger aside for now, he joined them around the table. He shot a death glare at the goddess before taking seat next to Yukine. "I _do_ hate that woman."

They had a pleasant breakfast, all shinki quickly warming up to Yukine. Yato saw him laugh and smile and joke like he had never been recently. The corners of his lips curved into a soft smile as he saw him interact with others. He hated to admit it, but maybe Bishamon had been right on that one. Maybe she wasn't _that_ crazy at the end. "Ane-sama, who's going to clear the table today?"

"It's obviously going to be Yato. He squatted here for breakfast after all, and he ate _four_ _times_ a normal breakfast; it's natural he cleans afterwards."

"Hey, clean all these plates?! You have at least two hundreds shinki, crazy nympho! I can't clean them all! And Yukine took more food too!"

"Yukine isn't like you; he eats because he _lost_ weight, not because he has put as a personal challenge to eat as much food as he could just to annoy me! And don't call me like that in front of my kids, _magatsukami_!"

Yato stamped in front of her. "Call you what, a nympho? Well, that's what you are!"

"What did you _say?!"_

"You wanna fight, huh?! The loser clears the table!"

A vein popped on her forehead. "Bring it on!"

Kazuma nudged Yukine away from the two fighting deities to make sure he wouldn't be a collateral victim of it, sighing when he saw all the other shinki had started to encourage their goddess. "Seriously… They won't change, I guess. They always hated each other."

"I should be apologizing, really. I should have known my master would enjoy making such a nuisance of himself. We should leave before they start fighting to death with each other."

"…I agree," said Kazuma after a moment.

"Say… could we train today, Kazuma-san? If that doesn't bother you…"

The older hafuri smiled. "Of course it doesn't bother me. I'm happy actually, it's has been a moment since we last trained together. And it will do some good to you too to do some exercise, I'm sure of it. Come."

Yukine didn't say anything to Kazuma taking his hand. It wasn't a gesture he would have expected from Kazuma, but it felt nice to know that he had been so worried about him.

* * *

"P-Please, let's take a break, Kazuma-san," panted Yukine, out of breath. "I'm begging you. I don't think I can m-move anymore."

"Already?" he asked in a slightly joking tone, albeit it was clear that he was exhausted too. "What's that, Yukine? You aren't at your maximum potential."

"For my defence, I was just hospitalized," replied quickly Yukine. "It's _normal_ I'm not back on my feet."

Kazuma knelt next to Yukine. "I know, I know. I was just teasing you. Are you alright, though? Do you want to stop? It's true that it has been three hours since we've begun training."

"N-No, it's fine… We can continue. I'm just going to take a b-bottle of water and I will be coming back. I know where it is; so I can go a-alone…"

Kazuma's eyes softened as he watched him leave. Yukine was a strong shinki all right. All he had been through recently hadn't been that obvious when they trained. His movements were almost as fluid as before, and his stamina hadn't been that affected either. Given that he was physically fine, he hoped would make a full emotional recovery soon.

"Who are you?"

Kazuma turned towards the stranger who had emerged from the shadow of a tree and frowned at his presence. "I could ask you the same thing. This is Bishamonten's mansion. You have no right to be here, unless _she_ asked you to be here, which I doubt strongly," he said with authority, readjusting his falling glasses on his nose.

"Thinking you're so smart…" The stranger soon gained an adult face and a lean body, looking somewhere in his late forties. "I don't know what you think you're doing with him, but he is _mine_."

"Is that supposed to scare me?" said levelly the hafuri, taking an offensive stance. "Yukine certainly _not_ belongs to you. He belongs to no one. Now I suggest you leave here right away before I make you do so myself."

He came another step closer. " _Of_ _course_ he belongs to me."

Kazuma's muscles stilled an instant. Now that he saw him more closely, that man looked dangerous. And there was a kind of mad light in his brown eyes. What did he want to Yukine? "But don't worry hafuri; I am not going to hurt you." A pearl of sweat ran down his temple. Was he a shinki too? How did he know he was a hafuri? "Or him. At least not yet. I would just ask you to give an item to his god. The bottle in this bag."

Kazuma eyed him warily as he took the bottle out of his plastic bag and placed it in his hand. Its content was bright red, and it didn't take him too long to find what it was. He advanced next to the frozen Kazuma to whisper in the crook of his ear. He smelled faintly of sake. " _You_ think he is safe, _he_ thinks he is safe… You couldn't be farther from the truth. He is safe _for now_ , and it's high time you remember this _._ "

"His god has surely done a few researches about me. He knows what I am capable of, and what I have already done to little Yukine here. I think I sent him enough photos."

"P-Photos…? What phot-"

"Mark my words," muttered the man, pressing his body more closely to Kazuma's. "I have been told this a few times already: I'm _mad_. I _won't_ stop. I will stop at _nothing_ to make him pay for what he has done to me."

That's when Yukine arrived. "Get away from Kazuma-san right n-"

A simple look at the man's eyes made him freeze instantly. Not having any control on his body anymore, he took a few steps back before falling to his knees. The fear that that man inspired him was too strong to be described by words. He had this urge to run away from him, to go as far away as he could before he caught him.

"You're…"

The man merely smirked at the sight of Yukine's terror-filled eyes before leaving.

Kazuma waited a few seconds to make sure the threat was gone before throwing the disgusting bottle away and dashing to the fallen Yukine's side. "Yukine, can you hear me?!"

His glassy eyes regained a little light. "K-Kazuma-san," he rasped. "That man… I _know_ him…"

"Never mind that man, he left already. Calm down, okay, Yukine?"

"I know," he muttered. He took a big intake of breath before rubbing his face. "I saw that he left. I-I don't know why I reacted like this. He just scared me. I'm sorry."

He hated lying to his mentor like this. But he couldn't tell him that he had just remembered that man's identity right now. "No, don't apologize Yukine. I should have taken care of him before you arrived to see him. Are you alright? Can you stand up?"

"Yes… I'm-"

"Kazuma! Yukine!" cried two voices.

Both shinki turned at their respective masters' voices. "Are you alright, both of you?! Bishamon suddenly felt a lot of distress coming from Kazuma, and I felt Yukine- Why are you on the ground anyway? Did you faint?!" Yato knelt at Yukine's side and slid an arm around his waist to help him stand up. "What happened?"

"Who won?"

"…Won? Won what?"

"Your earlier fight."

Bishamon crossed her arms, looking half proud and half offended. "What question, Yukine. I beat this god of calamity without problem. He just regained consciousness from the beating I gave him. He cleaned _all_ the plates."

"I guessed as much," said both hafuri in unison, Kazuma louder than Yukine. Yato made a face. "Even my own hafuri didn't think I would win?!"

Bishamon smiled, but her earlier worry hadn't disappeared entirely. "So Kazuma, what happened to you? I sensed strong fear coming from you. Are you hurt?" She grabbed his shoulders when she saw him look away from her. "I knew it; someone did something to you. Who hurt you? Tell me his name."

Kazuma didn't want to talk about it. However, the thought of lying to his mistress was just unbearable to him. He sent a quick glance to Yukine, and saw him subtly nod in agreement. _Don't tell her yet._ "…No one hurt me, Veena. Could we talk about it later?"

She looked taken aback by his answer. "Sure… If you want. Are you sure you're alright, though?"

He guessed no one would really be after seeing a litre of a close friend's blood being given to a man, but still kept silence. Yato waited a moment before letting Yukine stand on his own. Kazuma cleared his throat, an idea forming in his head. "I know; now that both our masters are here, how about a little competition, Yukine? You against me. I want to see if you really learnt the songs, and the strength of your borderlines."

"W-What?" he spluttered, still held by his god. "Kazuma-san, I just learnt the songs! I'm not strong enough to…"

"It's just a training Yukine. You'll see, it will be fun."

"A fight against hafuri? I would like to see that." cheered Bishamon. Yato nodded, his free hand on his hip, looking all proud. "I want to see my kid beat the crazy bitch's! Go on Yukine, you're the best! Yu-ki-ne! Yu-ki-ne!"

Yukine blushed before nodding. "A-All right then. But I won't go easy on you just because you're my teacher, Kazuma-san. You better get prepared to lose."

He smirked before loosening his tie. "Oh, _really_? Let's see if you can prove these words."

* * *

All other shinki had gathered around the two hafuri's fight, cheering them both. It had turned into a fun event, Yukine had to admit. It was like they were either heroes or gladiators fighting, and the crowd was cheering them up. After maybe two hours of fighting non-stop, they both crumpled to the ground. "I'm _dead_ ," laughed Kazuma. "I can't move anymore."

"I agree," muttered Yukine. "I would like to stay here forever and never move again."

"You would need someone to feed you though, Yukine," laughed slightly Kazuma.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," smiled Yukine after a moment.

"Do you want me to carry you, Kazuma?" asked innocently his goddess. "If you can't move…"

Kazuma blushed and immediately sat. "N-N-No Veena, i-it's f-fine! Please."

"Well, I can carry you, Yukine!" offered Yato, only to receive a weaker than usual punch in his face when Yato's face came too close to Yukine's. "Go away, you creep!"

All shinki applauded their heroes at the end of the fight. It had ended up in a tie, but they both felt like they had won. "Anyway, you did great, both of you. You offered us a great fight. Lunch is ready if you want to eat. Take a quick shower and go."

The two hafuri were quickly forgotten by the children, who rushed to the living room. Kazuma frowned when he saw Yukine's face. "I know you're probably fed up to be said this every time, but… Are you alright? You're-"

"Pale? I know. It's all because a cruel hafuri went too hard on me," joked Yukine. Kazuma chuckled and stood up before lending him a hand that Yukine accepted joyously. "But don't worry, I'm okay. Let's eat."

Yukine limped next to his god towards the kitchen, who didn't stop chattering with him and praising him about the fight. Yukine stayed globally silent, only mumbling a few insults from times to times when Yato became too embarrassing. Kazuma attempted to join them before his goddess grabbed his sleeve. "So we're alone now. Can you tell me what happened earlier, Kazuma?"

"…Veena?"

"I felt that you were really scared. You thought that whoever was here would hurt you. Please Kazuma, tell me what happened. I know it's someone who did something to you, but…"

The hafuri sighed; his goddess was stubborn, and he knew it. Especially when she was worried. "Someone came earlier. He didn't really _do_ things to me, but… He said some things… Please look in the bushes. He gave me something, but I threw it away."

"Something…" The goddess walked over the nearest bush and bent above it. She found the bottle almost immediately, its red colour standing out among the grass. "Is that-"

"That man gave it to me. It's… all Yukine's."

She took a step back in horror. "He said that he wanted Yukine back, and he also said something about some photos sent to Yato."

"…Okay, I understand. I will talk to Yato about this, don't worry. And thanks for telling me, Kazuma."

"Veena," he began. "I really don't like being like this, but… I really hope this madman won't be back. I'm worried about Yukine. The words he used…"

"…Don't apologize, Kazuma. And you're right to worry for Yukine," she mumbled. "I have to admit I'm too."

* * *

Afternoon passed way too quickly for Yukine's taste. They all ate together in a sort of family-mood, and afterwards Hiyori arrived to give Yukine the lesson she had promised to give him after he left the hospital. Lesson to which Kazuha and Karuha had insisted to attend, along with a few other young shinki a little younger than Yukine. It quickly became a big math lesson in the end, like a class, with about thirty students. Hiyori found herself enjoying being their teacher for a moment, really. She even thought that if she didn't want to become a doctor anymore, she could always become teacher.

Bishamon had managed to make a deal with Yato: she kept a close eye on Yukine during the whole day while he ate more, cut his hair and got some shut-eye. A proposition he accepted without putting much of a fight. She had to admit that the injured child had quickly wormed his way through his heart. She found herself laughing several times with him about various things, and enjoyed his presence more than she thought she would. It was always appreciable to have someone to laugh at Yato with her.

It was now evening; they all had had a dinner prepared by Yukine and Kazuma once again, Yato having been quite violently repelled from it when he proposed his help. Bishamon insisted that they all changed in their pyjamas after dinner, lending one to each of her guests, making sure Yato got the ugliest one, and now the youngest shinki were arguing about which movie they were going to watch tonight. The goddess of calamity and Yato had disappeared to talk again when no one was watching.

Aiha sighed and asked Hiyori some help to take all the plates to the kitchen. "Seriously… They are such children, to argue about a movie."

Hiyori chuckled. "They are still young after all."

"Say, which one would you have chosen?"

"Hm… The action one maybe? I like the actors in this one."

"Hm. I would have preferred the romance one. It's around these movies that real romances create, you know?" She smiled sadly. "Tsuguha would have agreed with me, I'm sure. She was the only one with who I could talk about things like this."

"Aiha-san…"

She gulped and quickly rubbed her eyes; now was not the moment to mourn her recently dead friend. "B-But yeah, romances. Romances like the one between Ane-sama and Yato could develop, you know? They could maybe become a true relationship."

Hiyori almost let go of the plates she was holding in shock. "Yato and Bishamon-sama?!"

"Woah, calm down! Why are you getting so worked up?" Aiha looked at Hiyori innocently, oblivious to her cheeks' redness before putting a box of pop-corn in the microwave. "They have already kissed under the sakura; I'm sure something is going on between them. Absolutely sure of it. And you know what they say; there is only one step between love and hate. They just have to _take_ that step."

She looked at Hiyori with incomprehension. "Why are you so shocked about it?" Her lavender eyes suddenly widened, and a hint of blush coloured her face. "No… Hiyori-san… Don't tell me you're _in_ _love_ _with_ -"

"I'm in love with no one, Aiha-san!" cried the girl a little bit too loud, drawing all the children's attention to her for a few second before they started to argue again. Her whole face started to heat up. "Oh, Aiha-san… I'm feeling so embarrassed, I feel like I might _die_ of it."

Aiha patted her shoulder and winked. " _Oh,_ don't worry. My lips are sealed; I will keep your secret. I'm glad my hunch is right, though; I _did_ think you two would look cute together, but I wasn't too sure. Hmm… If Ane-sama is free then, maybe Kazuma-san and her will become something too."

Hiyori looked absolutely _mortified_ at her words, but she couldn't pinpoint which ones had embarrassed her most. "Kazuma-san and-"

"Come, Hiyori-san," cut the shinki. "The kids should have finished bickering by now. And- aw, don't make that face, I'm not going to tell him! Secret between girls."

The girl nodded before hazardously following the female shinki. She felt like she had just been laid entirely bare by a girl she still didn't know that well. Was she _that_ transparent? It was true that in her heart, she was completely and madly in love with Yato. But was her love towards Yato _that_ obvious exteriorly? And Aiha had said that they would look _cute_ … together…

She was so confused by the whole situation that she wasn't paying attention to anything anymore. "We don't want this one!" said one group.

"Ours is better that yours!" said the other. Kuraha quickly excused himself, feeling a headache coming as it was the twentieth time they repeated this. Kinuha and Akiha weren't long to follow him. Definitely too tired and old for these puerilities.

"Then Yukine-san will choose!" decided Kazuha. "Yukine-san has good taste after all; _he_ will choose the right one! So, what do you choose? The action movie or the superheroes one?"

"I…" Yukine yawned, and rubbed his eyes sleepily. "I'm not sure. Maybe the action one? It looks good… I think…"

"Yay!" cheered Kazuha's entire group. "You will watch it with us, right Yukine-san? You picked it after all."

"I… Okay, if you want." Yukine smiled at them and ruffled both twin's shinki's hair before sitting on the sofa. "But after this movie I will go to bed, okay? I'm really tired."

"Yay! If Yukine-san stays with us then I'm okay with the movie!" Kazuha and Karuha quickly secured a seat at Yukine's sides. He smiled before sliding an arm around them both. _I wonder if I had smaller siblings when I was human too._ "Where are Yato-san and Ane-sama?"

"Talking… Th-They said that we could begin the movie without them, and that they would come soon," yawned Yukine.

They both nodded before switching their television on. A lot of shinki had decided to go to sleep early, - Aiha had insisted to sleep with Hiyori -, leaving a reduced number of them watching the movie. Yukine had fallen asleep not even a minute after it began.

* * *

"Yato, stop being stupid. You _can't_ do that."

Yato shot her a dark look. "I don't see any other solution. You've seen what he is capable of, and all the photos and messages he sent me. He threatens my kid, and he threatened yours too."

"But if you kill him then he will be reincarnated as a shinki. Do you really want him to torment your kid forever, Yato?! Think more!"

"It's not a problem. I will kill him as a human, and then I will kill him as a shinki afterwards. I don't mind killing that bastard twice. Not at all."

"…It's still not a good idea to do that and you know it. You will hurt his god, and he might harbour a rancour against you for killing his shinki."

"Not if his god has something in the head. He saw what a scumbag he was as a human; he might even thank me for killing him, really. I can't let him in the wild like that anymore, because I swear if he touches my kid then-"

"Yato-sama! I wanted to tell you that Yukine-kun…" The gods were still staring at each other and hadn't reacted to Kinuha's arrival. They both looked furious. "A-Am I interrupting something, Ane-sama?"

Yato shook his head and passed next to her without a word, looking particularly infuriated by the conversation. "It's nothing, Kinuha. Don't mind him." Some of the god's anger melted away at the sight of his kid asleep. "I didn't think he would last long, given how tired he was feeling… I'm going to put him to bed. Where can we sleep, Bishamon?"

"Upstairs. The penultimate door on the left corridor. There's a big bed here; you can sleep together."

Yato nodded, and shook Yukine's shoulder. He stirred before grumbling. "Leave me… alone…"

"Nope, sorry kid. You can't sleep on the sofa, you must sleep in your bed," chuckled Yato.

Yukine peeled one eye open before sighing and standing up. "I fell asleep this quickly, huh… Then goodnight everyone. I'm going to bed."

"Good night, Yukine-san!" answered the shinki in unison. "We will tell you the end of the movie!" promised another child. Yukine smiled at them before going upstairs, grabbing Yato's sleeve. "Yu- You want me to come with you?"

"Hm-mh."

Yukine basically collapsed in the bed when they found their room and waved a hand to his god to come at his side. Yato frowned before settling in the bed and tucking his shinki in the covers. He almost felt jealous; he had never slept in such a comfortable bed in his entire life. Damn this perverted goddess of luck.

Yukine fisted Yato's pyjamas before placing his head on his chest with a sigh. Yato felt worry seep through him at this unusual childish action. "You're acting strange, kid. Are you sick again? Do you have a fever?"

"I'm not sick, I'm _tired_ ," moaned Yukine, clutching at the fabric of Yato's t-shirt more tightly. That was part of the truth, actually. "Be silent so that I can sleep, Yato."

"You're sick, Yukine. I asked Bishamon to help me finding what was making you this sick." Yato sighed. He wondered what would happen if Yukine regained all the memories of his torture. It had been the first time in a few weeks that Yukine had been really _happy_ and smiling and laughing with other people. Yato hated to say that it was an emotion he had not felt in a long time. And not being scared all the time anymore didn't trigger seizures, so his epilepsy wasn't a problem either.

If Yato could choose, then he would have made Yukine's memories never reappear. Not only Yukine would be better this way, but Yato wouldn't be constantly reminded his mistake too.

He ran his fingers through his golden hair. "Say… You really don't remember being with Father?"

"No… I told you."

"…It's going to be horrible when you remember everything," Yato couldn't help but say. "I hope you won't remember everything at once, because you're probably going to have a panic attack if that happens. Your kanji got three more cracks too. If anything stressful happens to you, then you could remember everything."

"You're thinking too much… And talking too much too. I can't _sleep_ , Yato."

Yukine snuggled against his god further and let out a sigh of contentment at his warmth. "You're definitely running a fever or something, to act like that. But I guess I don't mind…"

"You know, Yato… We will both be fine at the end, I promise. Trust me."

Yato felt a lump form in his throat, and wondered when his eyes had started to sting him that much. He brought the blankets up to his chin before wishing Yukine good night. Yukine didn't answer; he was already asleep.

Yato didn't go to sleep. He waited that Yukine was sound asleep to leave their bed. He tied his hair in a small bun before leaving the house, making sure to grab a knife from Bishamon's kitchen before.

* * *

Yukine woke up alone, and he just knew something had happened and that his stupid master had done something wrong again. His intuition was too strong. He directly went to Bishamon's bedroom, not even caring that he was bothering her and waking her up. "Bishamon-sama, please wake up!"

She grumbled before opening her eyes. "Oh, Yukine. What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?"

"I-It's Yato! He left in the middle of the night and I think he has been doing something stupid again… I think he went to kill my father… To protect me…"

She gasped. "Y-You know about your father, Yukine?!"

"…He was threatening Kazuma-san earlier. He looked at me, anf though it took me some time, but I eventually remembered some things about him. Not everything, but I know that… wasn't happy with him. He was violent. He often beat me. And I guess he wants to do that again, and that Yato…" He bit his lip, hating that his god had taken such drastic measures just for him. Part of him appreciated that, but… it was too dangerous.

"God... I told you not to do that, stupid Yato…" she muttered to herself before leaving her bed. She knew he was stupid and stubborn, but… She supposed she should have known he would do that. He looked determined. "Wait here Yukine; I'm going to take him back."

"B-Bishamon-sama, wait! You don't have to do that… I-I think I have a plan. A plan to make everything stop. But I need your help for this." He took an intake of breath. "This time, it's my turn to take care of everything."

* * *

"So you really came," laughed quietly Yukine's father. "I didn't think had the courage to. So you finally decided to give me what's mine?"

A voice raised behind the god before he could speak. "He has. I'm here, Da- _Father_."

Yato felt like he had just been punched and turned around. Yukine was definitely asleep when he left. "Yukine?! But what are you doing here-"

A hit behind the head made him collapse in Bishamon's arms. She gave him a sad look before lowering his body to the ground. Yukine's father whistled. "Oh, and who might you be, charming madam? Are you acquainted with my son?"

"She is no one, Father," answered Yukine. "Don't mind her; she is going to leave anyway. I've… I have decided to come back to you. I'm here now for that."

His father frowned before coming closer to him. It seemed too good to be true, really. Bishamon didn't move, only looked away from them. She knew this was ugly, but it had to be done. Yukine forced himself not to look at him and ordered his body not to tremble, but was forced to do so when he grabbed his chin.

His reaction when he saw his father's eyes was immediate.

" _Dad, open please! Dad!"_

" _Dad, please stop… Please…"_

He tried his best to keep his breathing under control, at least for now. The plan wouldn't succeed if he showed the man any signs of fear. Yukine's father examined his face a moment more before caressing his cheek with his thumb. Yukine tried to suppress a wince the best he could: this contact felt so… wrong. There was no trace of happiness on the older man's face, only cruelness and possessiveness. "Hm. So you decided to come back on your own. Ready to come home?" He added more darkly. "And finally _pay_ for what you have done?"

He fought against the urge of looking behind at Yato for protection. "B-Before I come home, Father… I would like you to accept a rule."

The man frowned, looking irritated. "I have no rule to accept from you. You will obey, and that's all you will do."

 _Do not anger him._ _Do not anger him_ _._ "I know, Father… I-I apologize if I sounded arrogant to you. Just… Could you not call me by my name when I am here? By the name you gave me. Please call me Yukine."

"…Just that?"

"Yes, Father. That's the only thing I ask."

"…Okay then," he said with after a moment of reflecion before showing his son a wicked smile. He extended a hand to Yukine. Yukine shared a discreet nod with Bishamon before reluctantly slipping his hand in his father's and following him. His father's hand was cold, rough, unloving. It was nothing like Yato's.

Bishamon felt her heart tighten when she saw Yukine leaving. The plan had to succeed. There were no other solution.

* * *

As he had thought, coming back to his old house had triggered something in him. He was almost sure he could remember how many empty cans were sprawled on the floor, the ire on his father's face when saw Yukine writing letters to his mother and his sister; the colour of his mother's suitcase when he saw her leaving the house in the middle of the night. His throbbing skull almost made him fall forwards, but he was caught by his father.

That's when the shinki realized that he smelled strongly of sake. His breath was making him nauseous as he approached his face from Yukine's. "I'm not going to respect your stupid rule. It's _your_ _fault_ that you mother left, and it's high time you remember that. You have nothing to ask to me."

He pitilessly threw Yukine to the ground, and that's exactly _when_ he understood that something terrible would happen. "And you remember what happened to you in this house, right? Well then get prepared to get it a thousand times worse."

" _All of this because you are an useless brat! If you weren't your mother wouldn't have left me alone! I lost my job because of you!"_

" _I'm sorry, I can't take you. I will send you some letters, though." Why can't you take me, Mom?_

 _He hadn't even known he had passed out. When he woke up, he was in a tiny box, and the only thing allowing him to breathe was that his father was holding the lid of the box open. He saw his father bent towards him. But unlike each time he had seen this image, this time he could see his father's face clearly,too clearly, looking at him with some unmasked disgust and cruelty before muttering what would be Yukine's last words he heard as a human and closing the lid. Yukine's heart missed a beat as he recognized something terrible among his father's words. Something he had never heard before._

 _A name._

Yukine fainted.


End file.
